Rachel

Anything Worth Taking Seriously, Is Worth Making Fun Of And Because I Often Do That.....
I Swear To God, Someone Is Going To Drop A House On Me One Day....
Notice to people who visit my home:
1. The dog lives here. You don't.
2. If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. Yes, she has some disgusting habits. So do I, and so do you. What's your point?
4. OF COURSE she smells like a dog
5. It's her nature to try to sniff your crotch. Please feel free to sniff hers.
6. I like her a lot better than I like most people.
7. To you she's a dog. To me, she's an adopted daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. I have no problem with any of these things.
8. Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about whether they have the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell their offspring.
I, Rachel, being of sound mind, hereby bequeath my entire estate to the Town Hermits. I do this because they understand me.
My only regret in this life was that I didn't punch more people in the face.
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