As I sit in my superior leather chair that I purchased from the Home Depot (Big T. Stewart, ..20), I ponder many serious ideas that have plagued man-kind since the existence of the universe. What is the chicken in Chinese food?, how does an eight ball graduate from a mere pawn in a game of pool to a magical portal into my future?, and why did that guy with the goiter in the gas station call me a loser under his breath? This, therefore, brings me to my next train of thought. None of us are losers my first-class friends. What precisely is the definition of loser? One that fails consistently, especially a person with bad luck or poor skills. Well Im here to contradict that definition. When we were but a sparkle in out parents eyes, we had to overcome the biggest test of our imminent life. We had to win the race to the golden embryo. Who can say how many foes we were up against hundreds? Thousands? Millions? The number is undisclosed at this time, but I am sure of one simple fact. I was the winner. I am the strongest swimmer on my fathers team. All of us won that race my friends thats what brings us here. Our competition now lives somewhere in the sewers of Washington DC with all of the mutated goldfish and semen stained jumpsuits. We are all winners my friends. Now let's go play dungeons and dragons everyone!!!This is a slide show of the pictures my friend Chet Beckman took on our super- fantabulous trip to the Midwest. These guys are the Distorted Penguins. I think they're neat. They let me ride in the RV while they were being serious musicians. I can dig it.Get Your Own! | View Slideshow
EVIL INCARNATE.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
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