Christopher profile picture

Christopher

Gimme the Keys, Lisa. I'll Drive!

About Me

Overall, I'm a pretty annoying guy that is lucky to have any friends at all. But should you put up with me over a period of time, you'll see that I'm actually a fairly decent boy. I'm friendly, loyal, protective and pretty much house-broken (we all have "accidents"). My friends are funny and have to make me laugh. And have to laugh at me. I mean laugh at the things I say. That nervous laughter when-really-don't-get-the-joke-and-do-it-anyway-so- you don't-look-stupid doesn't count. YOU know who You are!

My Interests

Horse Racing, Reading, Movies, weightlifting, useless trivia, Annoying Stephanie, Making fun of Kara

I'd like to meet:

GUIDELINES FOR BEING CHRISTOPHER'S FRIEND 1. Must enjoy being annoyed on a regular basis 2. Must except "Bitch" or "Bastard" as terms of endearment 3. Must have unconditional love for both Parker Posey and Courtney Love. 4. Must never wear white tennis shoes with jeans or a visor with sunglasses attached. Just to play it safe-Never ever buy either white tennis shoes or a visor. 5. Must accept Chrisotopher's mantra of "If I don't remember it, it didn't happen" or most importantly "If I don't remember SAYING it, I didn't SAY it." 6. NEVER, EVER SHAKE A BABY 7. Must put up Christopher quoting obscure lines from even more obscure movies and think its funny. 8. Must accept the gravitational pull of Christopher's crotch. 9. Must take responsibility of remembering where Christopher has parked his car. 10. Must always have an emergency stash of bail money. 11. Must realize that Christopher's drunk Billy Idol sneer does not necessarily indicate anger, disorientation, or sexiness. It's just a silent plea for help goddammit! 12. Must realize that joining the "inner-circle" is like joining the mob. You're never gonna get out no matter how hard you try.

Music:

Hedda Layne, Poe, The Go-Gos, Garbage, No Doubt, Luscious Jackson, Ginger MacKenzie, Aimee Mann, Maria Mckee, Hole, Republica, Cake, Beck, White Zombie, The Volumptious Horror of Karen Black, Duran Duran, Gene Loves Jezebel, The Smiths, Musick Storey, BT, Eurythmics, Cibo Mato, The Church, The Farm, Bjork, Jesus & The Mary Chain, Stereo MC's, Everything But The Girl, Kim Wilde, Verve

Movies:

Party Girl, Heathers, House of Yes, Donnie Darko, Dangerous Liaisons, The Grifters, Romy&Michelle, The Opposite of Sex, Mommie Dearest, All About Eve, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Citizen Ruth, Trick, The Sweetest Thing, Deathtrap, Valmont, Election, Freeway, Mean Girls, Weird Science, The Good Girl, Bubba Ho-tep, Death And The Maiden, Mambo Italiano, What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?, The Women, Steel Magnolias, The Evening Star

Television:

Arrested Development, Strangers With Candy, The Simpsons, King of The Hill, Six Feet Under, Reno 911, Carnivale, Will & Grace, Scrubs, The Family Guy, The Apprentice, The Swan

Books:

The Sundial by Shirley Jackson, Cry To Heaven by Anne Rice, Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving, The Talisman by Stephen King and Peter Straub, Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, Any Hardy Boys or Nancy Drew

Heroes:

My Father, Alydar, Parker Posey, Smarty Jones, John Irving, Judith Light, Hank Hill, Omarosa, Lisa Simpson, Nicolas Evans, Gary Stevens, Seabiscuit, Shirley Jackson, Kara Low, Michael Moore