"Love - the riskiest game since Russian Roulet"
-Sakura Amadare
ADVISORY:
I have only one thing to say...Please, spare us both the irritation and the bullshit and THINK BEFORE YOU ADD. Thank you.
This is still my life
Not yours to define
I thought I'd make this portion a little more personal. "The Basics" don't cover it so well, I suppose. But there's so much to tell, I don't know where to begin and I can't even guess where it will end. Here goes nothing...
Hello. My name is Sakura. Not legally, or at least not yet, but don't bother me about my "real" name; it is the name I have chosen for myself, and therefore it is my name.
I don't care what you think of me. In fact, I prefer that you disapprove of who I am, what I do, how I speak, how I dress. It means I'm different. Believe me, I'd rather be anywhere but within your safe circle of mundaneness. I dance just outside of the ring and you despise it. You gaze with envious eyes as I show you - in flamboyant display, again and again - just how bold and untouchable I am. You wish you could attain those heights but, being too afraid of what your friends might think, you spit hateful words in hopes of hurting me only to be disappointed upon seeing the smile creep across my face. Because I know. I know that you are and will forever be trapped within that circle and I will always be just beyond your reach. So go ahead, say what you'd like. It's quite a delight to hear the screams of jealousy howling beneath the surface.
Don't get me wrong. I'm anything but vain. I don't think I'm beautiful or particularly appealing. What else am I to think when I obviously can't hold anyone's interest for very long? No matter what I do it seems everyone eventually turns their back and leaves me behind, like a toy they've grown tired of. I had a friend who absolutely adored me and promised he'd spend the rest of his life by my side. I believed him and I loved him with all my heart. I guess all of his loyalty lay within his romantic feelings for me though, because once those faded away so too did our supposedly "eternal" bond. And now he's gone, and I can't even conceive how I am to believe in anyone or anything again. Apparently, it all disappears with enough time.
But don't let my pessimism drag you down. Moving on...I have two passions in life. One is music, and the other is writing.
I love music. It's...how to describe it? The beats, the melodies, the lyrics, the vocals, it's all so beautiful. It stirs emotion, it brings people together in a common bond, it tells all the different tales of life. It's unbelievable, what a single set of notes or a couple of words thrown together can do. It can make you soar to great heights or drag you down into the deepest abyss. It can make you smile or make you weep. It can strike a chord. And that's what I love most. When my heart syncs with the bass. When my brain thrums with the drums. When the vocals reach out and speak to me. That is music.
I love to write. It's so much fun to play with words, to make an amazing something out a great nothing. I want to be an author and I want to get published, but I have a long way to go before I get there; maybe I'll never get there at all. Who knows? I think it's my volatile sense of "reality" that will carry me through, and not just in writing. After all, they say that even in ficition there is a grain of truth. But where did that little grain come from? I think that everything we imagine already exists or, as we create it, it gradually comes to be somewhere out there in the universe.
Of course, there is falsity as well. Like this asinine concept of "normal." What is normal? Everyone's different from everyone else. How are we to set a standard when there's nothing to compare it to? It's a ridiculous notion, a ploy created by humans to breed greater discord and enmity.
Normal is just another label. I don't like labels, so don't think to slap one on me. My clothes and my makeup do not determine who I am. I am myself, you are yourself, it's as simple as that. Get over it.
My friends mean the world to me. And though they'll probably abandon me someday, as life seems to dictate, they will still be the dearest in my heart. They are my family, bound to me by something thicker than blood. William is my protector, the one who will stay at my house for two days in a row making me laugh and who will torch armies for me. Yin, my sister, and her love Chaos, my brother, always make great company and are there for me when I need them most. Nicole is my consort, one who is as gripped by her personal muse as I am; with our imaginations combined I know some astounding world has formed elsewhere. Lily, my younger sister as well as my confidante, is greatly in tune with my emotions and, thus, provides wonderful support. I can't imagine my life without them, and yet I know I would survive even if they were all to suddenly disappear.
I was told that I was a child, that I lived in a fantasy world, by one of the people who abandoned me. This was terrifying because I was only being myself, expressing my belief that everything could be worked out and fixed. It became my worst fear, that I would be forever trapped behind naivete, unable to see the harsh but necessary reality of life. But my eyes have become less clouded and I've begun to perceive things more clearly, so I guess I'm finally doing what I cried to my nii over the phone "I don't know how to!" - I'm growing up. Though growing seems even scarier than being a kid...
Oh, one last thing. I believe in vampires. They're somewhere out there, I know it, and if I'm lucky I'll find them someday.
If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading, you're wonderful.
..
[Random Tidbits]
~I ♥ Japanese food.
~I ♥ pretty boys even more.
~Kingdom Hearts[]You.
~I live on the internet.
~I am the snake in the Chinese zodiac.
~I have naturally curly hair.
~I love to dress up.
~I can't really eat greasy food.
~As far as humor goes, it's more about imagery and inflection than anything else for me.
~I would never date a black person [no, I'm not racist -.-].
~I do, however, find racist jokes to be hilarious.
~I play Heavy/Standard on DDR.
~I can't dance to save my life unless it's stepping to the pretty arrows flashing on the screen... XD
~I hate dancing in front of people anyway, so that's a moot point.
~I have an amazing voice, or so I've been told.
~I was president of the anime club during my junior year.
~I've been to Japan.
~I download just about everything: music, anime, movies. Who the hell buys stuff anymore?
~I do buy things, actually, but only for collecting purposes.
~I have the entire Yu Yu Hakusho series, ALL 32 volumes of it XD
~I also have the entire Fruits Basket series ^^
~I rarely let myself cry, unless the urge is completely unbearable.
~This doesn't mean I'm dead; I can actually be very upbeat and cheerful when I'm around my friends.
~My nose seems to be like, one or two degrees colder than the rest of my face o.O
~As you can see, I like anime smilies XP
~Actually I like anime in general, but that one was a no-brainer too, I'm sure.
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