derek smalls profile picture

derek smalls

i envy us.

About Me

well, david and nigel are like fire and ice, and I feel my role is to be kind of in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water.

My Interests

i'm interested in working with children and playing loud. cucumbers are my favorite food, and i keep pet snakes (they are my soul brothers, in a way. there is this slinky quality to them, which I try to apply to my stage persona). i also like orchids and roses. it may sound strange for a bloke like me to have a green thumb, but my own personal hybrid, the big bottom rose, was given 'best of row' at the chelsea flower show.

I'd like to meet:

fans of our records and girls who have yet to experience their first moustache, if you take my meaning.

Music:

milage, teddy noise, skaface, lambsblood, and spinal tap post ronnie pudding.

Movies:

roma 79, and anything directed by marco zamboni. however, i'm not a fan of Marty DiBergi. he portrayed us in a rather unflattering light, didn't he. for instance, seventy or 80 percent of the time—well, 65 percent at least—i got out of that pod straight away. he never showed that. (we've had the pods problem fixed since then--now we use giant eggs).

My Blog

An Open Letter To Smalls Fans Both Big and Smalls

Dearest Tap-heads, There have been some rather unsavory rumors going about that I am not the actual Derek Smalls, that this is not my real moustache but rather an implant cultivated from the DNA of m...
Posted by derek smalls on Mon, 13 Mar 2006 02:45:00 PST