Satan

AI'm Satan. You can read about me in the Bible if you want the long story, but here's the story in short. A few.. million.. years ago? Yeah around then.. Okay yeah I was an angel in Heaven. I was a rebel, so I decided that I didn't want God pushing me around anymore. I got some guys to side with me, and God got pissed so he sent his cavalry after me. Well, we pretty much ripped them to bits and got this whole big Civil War thing going. We lost in the end because that pussy Michael threw a spear at me, and then the bastard ripped my wings off! Talk about disrespect. Okay yeah so then God made Hell for me and my pals to rule in.. which was nice of him. So anyway, I pretty much tempt you to do bad stuff so then you can come down and keep me company as you get tortured by my friends. Oh yeah, pretty soon I'm going to unleash the beasts out on the world, get into a fight with God, and all that good stuff. Well, keep it real while you can. Interficiemur!