kenny boy

Although ive been a hairdresser for longer than youve been alive... yes you..All My Life i wanted to be a raccoon polisher. My old nan used to tell me as a child "kenny, raccoon polishing is everything" That was the same year she advised president Kennedy to invest in a convertible. My childhood in the main was a gloomy one, the only pleasures as i remember was shouting "oi popey" at the telly whenever the pope came on. I always had a gift for the giving of funny nicknames... my mother had the same gift, or "mum" as i dubbed her! Brilliant! I nearly died twice in my life. Once when i got run over by a traction engine and the other when my dad accidentally shot me four times in the face whilst stumbling and dropping me into the bath while he made me hold a plugged in hairdryer. I have only been depressed twice in my life, once on xmas day 1979 and again between march 82 to december 2004. My first love who i will refer to as W gave me my first taste of heartache in the summer of 1994 but i should have known it would end in tears never go out with a girl who wont tell you what the rest of her name is. Not really a loss, a girl with two wooden legs and two real feet isn't exactly hard to come by. Most People are aware of my songwriting prowess. Ive never been a 'third person' songwriter., always preferring to write about my own experiences and things that are influencing me at the time. For example; on recieving the AA british road atlas last christmas, i wrote the haunting "only 52 miles from Oxford to banstead" this way of writing began when i was only 14 after my first sexual experience trying to make love to the exhaust pipe of a mini metro, the resulting song "scorchknob" is in my opinion one of the finest songs ever written about a teenager trying to bone a car. I opened up my first saloon ten years ago but got completely cheesed off with cowboys constantly fighting all the time so decided to open a salon instead. Last year i entered a marathon for blind kids, true i had an advantage but a win is a win.I HATE THIS BOY