Captain Happy profile picture

Captain Happy

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I think the headline says it all. If you read further, I guess you have some serious personal defects. Or maybe you're just really f*ckin' cool. Or think you are. I don't know. Really wanna know about me? I have no use for whiny motherfuckers; unless, that is you have something legitimate to whine about, which is about .0005% of the time. If you don't, fuck off. I don't believe the world owes you anything. Or your family. Or your friends. If you're truly in need, I'll try to help you any way I can. If you come to me with a sense of entitlement, fuck off. Why? When's the last time you gave a shit about anything other than what was staring back at you from a mirror? And to the collective of females that want to whine to me about what a lame, selfish turd their boyfriend is: Yeah, I already know this. My fees for counseling just went up to $120.00 per hour. When I'm out to have fun, I don't want to know about your woes. If you need me to provide entertainment for you, or spend my time paying all my attention to you, you're mad if you think that shit's going to happen. I didn't have anything to do with the fact that you started fucking him, and you're not fucking me, so don't drag me into your pathetic little drama. I'm not out to validate your existence, or hear you expound on how homeboy bought you the wrong kind of tampons, or peanut butter, or ass paper. I don't care. Trust me, the previous scenario has actually happened. Which means that stupid people are breeding rampantly.Maybe the biological urge for survival isn't such a good thing after all.UPDATE: If you're looking to add me, let me fill you in on a few requirements: 1.) I'd better know you or know someone you know, and at the very least casually. I abso-FUCKIN'-lutely HATE getting friend requests from people who want to add me so their numbers go up. Shallow fucktards!!! This doesn't apply to bands, but I won't add you unless I dig your sound, dig? Also, if you're some front for a porn-site, don't waste your time, or mine for that matter. Bottom feeding fucks! This includes bimbos whose sole goal is to get desperate lonely nimrods to visit their webpage in hopes of snagging another paying dope. I assure you I am none of these. So fuck off! 2.) In case you're not sure about what I mean in Requirement #1, refer to Requirement #1 until you've got it down pat, OK, dipshits?In short, I fucking love everyone. Who is already dead. Because they're not coming back to shit in my oatmeal. Comprende? If not, DO YOU UNDERSTAND, FUCKHEADS?

My Interests

Ok, so yeah I'm a fucking wanker. I'm single, I don't pick up bar whores, and I don't frequent strip clubs. What would you do if you felt randy with a morning woody? Or just an anytime woody? Goddamn right you'd beat off. Just like me. Yeah, I have other interests, but why do I want to share them with you? You'll have to let me know. 'Til then let me be alone with the new installment of Hustler, OK?

I'd like to meet:

People who AREN'T fucktards, fuckheads, fucked-in-the-head, fuckos, fuckholes, fucking stupid, fucking retarded, whack-a-loons (umm, that'd be FUCKING CRAZY), douchebags, ass-clowns, and of course, those people who are just plain morons. If you fit any of the previous criteria, please move on. Nothing for you here folks. And as in the section above, please don't ask to add me if I don't know you, unless of course you're just in to killing time. In which case, have a fucking party. Then I'll have me a "DENY" party on this end. It'll be fan-FUCKING-tastic! Well, fantastic for me anyway.

Music:

Nekromantix, Demented are Go, Frantic Flintstones, Long Tall Texans, Mad Sin, Klingonz, Phantom Rockers, Damage Done by Worms, Mad Mongols, Banane Metalik, Red Hot Rockin' Hood, Batmobile, Evil Devil, Ripmen, Pitmen, Starlite Wranglers, The Hangmen, Spellbound, Gorilla, The Peacocks, Up to Vegas, The Bopshack Stompers, Rough Diamonds, Specials, the Quakes, Hotknives, Scallywags, The Selecter, The Beat, Meteors, Stray Cats, Blur, The Smiths, The Jam, Johnny Cash, Johnny Horton, Hasil Adkins, Accept, Priest, Maiden, Sabbath, Purple, Interpol, Stills, Skinny Puppy, Old Ministry, Revco, Kmfdm, 1,000 homo dj's, Pailhead, Naked Raygun, Big Black, Girls Against Boys, the Jesus Lizard, Alkaline Trio (and, yes, Heavens), CockSparrer, CRO-MAGS!!!!(Fuck Yeah! or Fuck You!), Slayer, Bad Brains, Agent Orange, ..... and of course: Ramones and the Clash. I think you get the idea.... and if you don't, who needs you?

Movies:

Snatch, Lock Stock, Miller's Crossing, State of Grace, Raising Arizona, True Romance, Braveheart, Saving Private Ryan, Caddyshack, Hi-Fidelity, Abbott and Costello, Stooges, Little Rascals(Our Gang), most silent films....

Television:

Chappelle, Attell, Daily Show, Izzard, All in the Family, M*A*S*H (first four seasons) Kids in the Hall, Mr. Show.

Books:

Yeah, I know how to read. And occasionally I do.

Heroes:

My heroes are mostly dead or soon to die. Tell me of someone who deserves the title of hero and I'll make them mine.Maybe.

My Blog

Well, just when you think you've seen/heard it all.....

I just don't know what to think anymore.... and that's not just because I'm fucked up. OK,OK, maybe it is because I'm fucked up, but people never fail to kick me right in the fucking balls. I guess yo...
Posted by Captain Happy on Mon, 26 Mar 2007 02:35:00 PST

Oh, for the love of Pete....

Jesus Fuckin' Christ! Enough is enough, already, america! (Yeah, that's right fuckos, I didn't capitalize america, and I'm not gonna so get off your collective high horse). So news lately must be brok...
Posted by Captain Happy on Fri, 23 Feb 2007 08:56:00 PST

Note the new moniker, MotherFuckers!

I really wish I would have figured out the new screen name a while back, since Mr. Pervy seems a bit, well, to be frank, umm, pervy. But then again Demented are Go were/are the genesis of that name, s...
Posted by Captain Happy on Sun, 12 Nov 2006 11:10:00 PST

Wow! (OK, so I like the word! And I'm writing it, so FUCK YOU!)

AAAAAHHHHhhh!!!!!! Beer is the breakfast of cham-peens! But I'll be having a Magner's, thanks so much.... So things in Maryland are quite fine, and while I miss a lot of you Tampa fuckers, the weather...
Posted by Captain Happy on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 05:43:00 PST

Okay Skanks!.....

What's up, muthafuckin' hoes!? Actually I could give a shit cuz you mean fuckall to me. Well not all of you, but, well... those of you who's in the public or some shit. Make sense? I hope not cuz if i...
Posted by Captain Happy on Wed, 10 May 2006 09:05:00 PST

Tagged!???

So now my kid sister says I gots to write a blog of six things about myself, cuz she done tagged me. FUCK! OKey-doke....1. I really think you should leave me out of things like this because I HATE bei...
Posted by Captain Happy on Wed, 26 Apr 2006 12:12:00 PST

Wow! How incredibly institutional....

No, I don't want to put an "emoticon" next to this blog to let you know how I'm feeling as I'm writing this. Are you fucking kidding?! Honestly, do you need a prompt to decipher the vitriol I'm spewin...
Posted by Captain Happy on Thu, 02 Mar 2006 12:20:00 PST

I still hate you all...

What's up, you useless fuckers? I haven't been on this for awhile so I guess I got a wild dildo up my turd chute and decided that I should get back to offending those of you who truly need a healthy S...
Posted by Captain Happy on Thu, 15 Sep 2005 09:17:00 PST

Sorry officer but SHE'S raping ME.... honest.

Hey there all you lil' ass-snackers, salad tossers and in general just plain twits, I love writing you stuff like that cuz I know it curls ya toes. Sorry I haven't been on here for a while but, well S...
Posted by Captain Happy on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Glad you missed me....

Hey, Shitknuckles! It's been a while since I've posted anything in blogland (hey, if you break that down, it's blo - gland, so while yer down there....) . I seriously doubt that you've been pining awa...
Posted by Captain Happy on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST