it's really over... he doesnt love me anymore....
I never thought it would end... i really never did...
but now i have to face the facts that yes.. i wuz more in love with him then he was with me...
I know wut most of u are thinking... that it wuz just another stupid teenage relationship and that I wuz dumb for having a kid with him...
we'll ur wrong... i was in love with the robert i had once known... he gave me no reason to not love him and no reason to think that....it would ever end... he was a great father in the begining and really cared about the both of us very much... as u can tell by what he posted on this page... u can tell that he really did love us...
but not enough...
he wants to just be with his friends... aj bryant.. nd who ever else it is he chills with... and u know wut its fine.. those are his friends i understand...
but me nd lei didnt deserve this...
i am put with all the responsibility while he ses that hes working for leila... but he hasn't paid for a single thing since she was born.... sad but true... but i never cared... because to me as long as he spent time with his daughter that meant more then any money...
soon he stopped spending time with us... and i let that slide too cuz i understood that he needs his space... but he wanted more then just space... he didnt want to be with me ne more...
it would have been a lot easier on me if he had just left me alone and told me he didnt want to be with me... instead... he kept coming back and making me hope that just maybe we'd be a family... but in the end of him coming back at least 5 times...I finally asked him..."do you love me how a guy should love a girl"... nd he sed... "I just dont feel that way anymore..." nd that wuz just it... his love for me faded and theres nothing i can do about that...
im not gonna act like my heart doesnt hurt.... but for sum reason im ok with it...
im just happy that its finally over and i can go on knowing... I DID THE BEST I COULD TO KEEP MY FAMILY TOGETHER.... and i can go on happy with that....
u know robert is a great guy.... to his friends... and hes a funny guy... but everything he did to me wuz so shady ... that we can never get back together ever... well we could... but i dont want it... i dont want sum1 to treat me like crap... i dotn need a guy whose gonna ignore my calls and instant messages.... or a guy that lies to me about where hes at or wen hes free cuz he dont wanna spend that time with me... i need a guy who cherishes me and will love me through think nd thin...
but i thank God for it all even though my life is hurting at the moment...
i will continue to pray for the man i feel inlove with... i will continue to pray that God will let me find the guy im supposed to spend the rest of my life with ...nd God will let me find him... it may not be ne time soon but he's out there... nd i'll be there with open arms nd an open heart...
i will continue to pray for those that continue to hurt me... i cry wen i pray for them.... because it hurts so bad to even mention their name... but God wants me to do that so that i dont hold any grudges...
my daughter.... i know most of u are thinking about leila nd are like BUT DOESNT SHE NEED HER PARENTS.... well leila never really knew robert... she knows thats her dad... she knows his face... she knows who he is... but she never spent a lot of time with him... so she'll never know him like she knows my side of the family... so shes not really loosing much... and u know the guy i marry her will love her like a his own i know that... nd i wont go with ne one whod love her less... she'll be ok... dont worry... i will love her with all my heart and raise her the best i can... nd she'll be fine...
wen i get my car... i'll drive her to visit her grandma nd grandpa on the holidays nd on the weekends... cuz thats important.... it just that me and rob... have drifted apart... nd i did everythign possible to keep it... but love just isnt enough sometimes.... faith is all that can help me now.... so thats it thats us... nd thats the truth...
-valerie
