Paul Joseph profile picture

Paul Joseph

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me


"Call it fate, call it luck, call it karma. I believe everything happens for a reason." - Venkman

"If someone asks you if you are a God, you say yes." - Zedmore

My Interests

I like simplicity, cleanliness, and phone calls under 30 seconds. I dislike stickiness, greasiness and eating inside of cars. Please don’t freak out about shit until it’s absolutely necessary.

I'd like to meet:

♣ People who won’t discuss their various, torrid sexual experiences.
♣ A harem of web-cam girls.
♣ Someone that will pay me for just being me.
♣ Other people who like things that I like, and enjoy drinking.
♣ Ferdinand I, Emperor of Austria, King of Hungary and Bohemia.
♣ Werewolves.

Who I would not like to meet:
♣ People who really like Sigur Rós.
♣ Thieves and murderers.
♣ Subway franchise owners.
♣ Kublai Khan.

Music:

My music of the moment is: Zolof the Rock and Roll Destroyer, Gert Wilden and his Orchestra, "Weird Al" Yankovic, Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, The Guess Who, Cock Sparrer, Space, Lawrence Welk, The Magnetic Fields, Hefner, Klaus Nomi, Jonathan Richman, Perrey and Kingsley, Sparks, Squeeze, Billy Joel, Devo, Cat Stevens, The Talking Heads, Oingo Boingo, They Might Be Giants, Peter Thomas, Plastic Bertrand, Ozma, Lesley Gore, Actionslacks, The Minus 5, Aqua, Fountains of Wayne, Neil Diamond, bis and The Shout Out Louds.

Movies:

Eternally: Wayne's World, Wag The Dog, Total Recall, Fargo, Ghostbusters, The Nightmare Before Christmas, One Crazy Summer, The Big Lebowski, The Birdcage, Pretty Woman, Back To The Future, The Lion King and The Wizard of Oz. Other than that, my tastes vary from day to day.

Television:

I am currently watching: N/A
Past programs that everyone should watch: The Adventures of Pete & Pete, Sports Night, Taxi, The X-Files, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Star Trek: The Next Generation, The Kids in The Hall and Small Wonder.

Books:

Currently reading: Culture Jam by Kalle Lasn and various Wikipedia articles. Everyone should read:
Amusing Ourselves To Death by Neil Postman
The Stranger by Albert Camus
Why Not Me? By Al Franken
Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman

Heroes:

Mark Twain, Shazam! (Captain Marvel), Al Franken, Mike Myers and Snake Plissken.

My Blog

Hey! Lets Learn About The Feudal System!

"Hey! Let's Learn About The Feudal System!" Hey! Have you ever heard of the feudal system? Unless you are in sixth grade [1], or grew up in India, I'm willing to bet that the answer is no. And you're ...
Posted by Paul Joseph on Wed, 08 Aug 2007 11:03:00 PST

I have a conversation with the Commerce Bank giftcard guy.

I was given a twenty five dollar Commerce Bank gift card as a gift. Moments ago, I called the number on the card that appears under "Check your balance before you shop." I was told by the robot woman ...
Posted by Paul Joseph on Wed, 06 Jun 2007 06:29:00 PST

The Lost Films of Ernest P. Worrell

Good evening, everyone. My name is Keith Jeffers. I am currently a PhD candidate in the Film Studies program at Rutgers University in Camden, NJ. The subject of my research is an actor, or moreover, a...
Posted by Paul Joseph on Mon, 16 Oct 2006 01:52:00 PST

Why I Don't Collect Things.

Why I Don't Collect Things I was staring at a SEPTA token the other day. I have no idea why.  I just, out of nowhere, found myself admiring it like it was some kind of little marvel.&nbs...
Posted by Paul Joseph on Sun, 15 Oct 2006 04:16:00 PST

Directions for the treatment of my corpse.

Directions for the treatment of my corpse.By Paul Joseph    As a society, we have come to treat our own deaths (or rather, what happens to us after we die) in a manner that I-- personal...
Posted by Paul Joseph on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Everybody's on MySpace! Yay!

You know what I'm thankful for? I'm thankful that MySpace doesn't have some kind of tracking feature where it tells people that you were on their profile, or looking at their blog or something. I can ...
Posted by Paul Joseph on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Can we please play a normal game of Twister for once?

Guys, this party is going really well. We have more guests than we expected, and everyone is having a really great time. We're doing really well on everything... beer, food, liquor... it looks like we...
Posted by Paul Joseph on Sat, 27 May 2006 04:54:00 PST

If I have offended you in any way...

This is an open message to anyone that I may have offended while drunk. Hello, In the event that youve decided to read this, it probably means that I somehow offended you while I was drunk. I am trul...
Posted by Paul Joseph on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST