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Attack of the Sloans

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About Me



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My Interests

Figuring out how many times the list of books I want to read would wrap around the earth if it were made of railroads OR how long it would look like it was taking me to read all of those books to the person standing on a platform as I sped by in a train going 70 mph if they were walking at a modest pace of 3 mph; trying to get my gerbil to come out of his wooden house so I can give him little kisses and leave pineapple chapstick marks on his back; walking past my dirty ass fish tank and momentarily considering cleaning the damn thing; wondering who at the bank likes me because there's no other reason they'd let me keep a savings account open with only 27 cents in it; trying to guess who in my house will have really obnoxious gas this week...

I'd like to meet:

The person in charge of the CTA so I can chop their left nut off. Or nipple--didn't mean to discriminate against the ladies there.

Music:

Zeppelin, Nick Drake, Gang of Four, The Kooks, Franz Ferdinand, The Guess Who, Devendra Banhart, The Sea and Cake, Yes, Rolling Stones, Peter Bjorn and John, Bjork, Redbear., Bela Fleck, ELO, Spoon, Of Montreal, Appleseed Cast, The Rapture, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Grateful Dead, Serge Gainsbourg, Oscar Peterson, New Order, Ra Ra Riot, Cinematic Orchestra, The Chemical Brothers, Modest Mouse, Astrud Gilberto, Fleetwood Mac, Arctic Monkeys, Dave Brubeck, Van Morrison, Wes Montgomery, Grant Green, Stan Getz, Paul Desmond, and on and on...

Movies:

Way too many to list here, but some of my current faves are (including TV as I'm too lazy to separate them) Rex the Runt; The Burbs; Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story; In the Mood for Love; Planet Terror; 24 Hour Party People; Planet Earth Series; The Blue Planet Series; My Best Friend; The Boss of It All; Legend; Flower of My Secret; Pan's Labyrinth; Brazil; Bedazzled (Peter Cook-NOT the crapped out remake); This is England; Labyrinth; Big White; Donnie Darko; Brazil; The Office (UK); This is Spinal Tap; Inland Empire (and the bad ass special feature, Quinoa); Lost in Translation; Fear and Loathing in LV; Human Nature; Laurel Canyon; Snatch; Brick; Home for the Holidays; Deconstructing Harry; Manhattan Murder Mystery; Hannah and Her Sisters; This is Spinal Tap; Volver; Broken Wings; It's All Gone, Pete Tong; All About My Mother; Far Side of the Moon; I Love You, Alice B. Toklas; Paper Chase; Rushmore; Heat; The Insider; Being John Malcovich; Eyes Wide Shut; Blade Runner; is anyone still reading?

Books:

Foucault's Pendulum; Evolution in Four Dimensions; Collapse; The Emperor of Scent; The Island of Lost Maps; The Corrections; The Geographer's Library; Confederacy of Dunces; everything by Bill Bryson; A People's History of the United States; The Professional Pastry Chef; Cat's Eye; all things Hunter S. Thompson; Frank by Jim Woodring; Mousekin's Golden House; Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test; Matilda; From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler; Stephen King (category: guilty pleasure); How to Make a Miniature Zoo; Guns, Germs, and Steel; The Flounder; The Right Stuff... ..

Heroes:

is a shit show. Actually, I've never seen it, but I think being hooked on Lost is embarrassing enough. Thanks, Erik.

My Blog

CTA: On-Time, Clean, Safe, Friendly

This is for you non-Chicagoans out there (or for the Chicagoans who have been inhabiting the underside of a rock)...It is a well known fact that the Red Line becomes a traveling toilet after 10 p.m. o...
Posted by Attack of the Sloans on Fri, 30 Nov 2007 09:00:00 PST

The Price Is Right

So, I was at the grocery store earlier this evening, because my life is just that thrilling, and I discovered something flippin' fantastic at the self checkout. Apparently, there's an oft overlooked o...
Posted by Attack of the Sloans on Fri, 30 Nov 2007 04:04:00 PST

Whos Driving This Damn Thing?

I swear, the universe must be trying to teach me a lesson this month, but for the life of me, I can't quite figure out what the hell it is. Maybe I need to floss more often (and by often, I mean at al...
Posted by Attack of the Sloans on Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:05:00 PST

When one is enough.

I was walking with my favorite Auntie E this afternoon, and as often happens in the city, I almost stepped in a three foot long dog do schmear on the sidewalk. And what did I say? Yike. That's right, ...
Posted by Attack of the Sloans on Sun, 04 Nov 2007 02:22:00 PST

Rick Astley Fucking Rocks

Need I say more?I mean--the hair, the moves...the jeans? ...
Posted by Attack of the Sloans on Tue, 02 Oct 2007 11:43:00 PST

I’ll Pay You Back

This is likely to be a mishmash of jarbled thoughts--yes, I'm allowed to make up words, so screw you, Mozilla--but bear with me. Or consider yourself warned and go read something else. A few things ch...
Posted by Attack of the Sloans on Tue, 11 Sep 2007 12:18:00 PST

All Dogs Go to Heaven...

...and gerbils damn well better go someplace great, too. If any of you experienced an inexplicable downturn in mood Sunday afternoon around 2:00...well, that's because my beloved little furball, Chewi...
Posted by Attack of the Sloans on Thu, 06 Sep 2007 10:45:00 PST

Bringing You Shit Tunes Since 2007

You might want to hit play on my profile song while you read this for that complete blog experience you've been craving.Since last night's musical odyssey into shit tunes (see previous post), I'm on t...
Posted by Attack of the Sloans on Wed, 15 Aug 2007 01:24:00 PST

The past is a blastin

I just spent the last two hours going through dusty old mix tapes from high school, and I am horrified and even a little saddened by my appalling taste in music in those days. I mean, really. Ambersun...
Posted by Attack of the Sloans on Wed, 15 Aug 2007 12:50:00 PST

Check it.

I'm in an exceedingly random, weird mood this evening, and while I should be working on a design project...well, clearly I'm not doing that right now. Instead, I think I'll talk about...jeans. I have ...
Posted by Attack of the Sloans on Wed, 15 Aug 2007 09:04:00 PST