D.O.T.D.

You Are Creepy
Serial killers would run away from you in a flash.How Scary Are You?
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Man, I am just cranking these out like they're on sale lately...
Tuesday February 19th, 2008 - 8:55pm
1. Do you think you were well raised?
No, but I certainly don't blame anyone for however it is I may have turned out.
2. Do you have a secret that you've never told ANYONE?
If I did then I certainly wouldn't admit to such a thing here, now would I?
3. How do you handle stress?
My usual modus operandi is to shut down and withdraw.
4. How would you spend your last day alive?
How would I spend it, or how would I want to spend it? Because I would want to spend it with someone I love (and yes, it is someone very specific), but I would probably end up spending it alone doing something pointless.
5. Do you hide things well or do you have a guilty consience?
I am horrible at hiding things, and in all seriousness I have a guilty enough conscience to where I feel guilty for shit I didn't even do. Seriously.
6. If there was true love on one side of the street and a million bucks on the other, which side would you go to?
If we're going strictly by how I have usually done things, I'd hop into a cab and obliviously blow right past both of them and never even realise it.
7. If your parents got divorced and you had to pick mom or dad to live with?
I'd have lived with my sister.
8. If you had to choose between having one family member or 5 of your closest friends die who would you choose?
Do I get to pick the family member?
9. Do you think you could ever forgive someone who murdered a family member?
Do I get to pick the family member?
10. What is the worst thing you've ever done that your parents DON'T know about?
I would imagine that if I ever sat down and really thought about it, that list of choices would be pretty freaking long.
The Love Stuff
1. Do you think you know the meaning of true love?
I think that the definition of "true love" isn't the same for everyone. But I think that I've come as close as I ever will to understanding what it could mean to me. Who knows.
2. The last time you kissed someone... was it someone you see yourself kissing again?
Highly doubtful, but dumber things have happened. To me.
3. When AND/OR WHO was your last kiss?
A long fucking time ago with someone you don't know.
4. Whats the most important part of a relationship in your opinion?
There is no "one most important thing", it's a combination of things. You can't have trust without honesty and you can't have openness without trust and blah blah blah. But if I had to give a nutshell/umbrella answer, I'd say "empathy".
5. Are you one to kiss and tell?
Not really. Besides, there'd have to be some kind of kissing before there could be any kind of telling. But even if there were, I probably wouldn't say anything to a bunch of randoms like y'all. HUGS!!
7. Your most recent ex... you guys still friends?
Pretty sure.
8. If your parents didn't like the person you were dating.. would you lose em?
My parents have nothing to do with my love life. Come to think of it, neither do I.
9. Do you see yourself ever being with someone you've been with before?
I suppose you can never really say never to something like that, but I'm not looking for anything from anyone right now. Thanks for asking.
10. If your best friend liked your ex, what would you do?
If she's my ex then it's none of my business, I suppose.
The This or That Stuff
Would you rather...
Die in a fire or drown?
Jeez! Okay, I imagine they would both have their plusses and minuses, but my fear of water ultimately tips the scales towards fire.
Eat fried worms or chocolate ants?
Are the worms fried in anything or just seared in a skillet? Because that seems kind of unfair if the ants get bonus chocolate while the worms are just hotter than usual. I'll take either.
Would you rather be ditched or live with ditching someone?
You mean like left in the middle of a field miles from home? Either way seems like a pretty fucked up thing to do. I don't think I would ever do that to someone, so I guess I'd rather be ditched. Oh, I was actually ditched once... This was a long time ago. My friends and I wanted to buy some pot and we were at my buddy Steve's who lived on the other side of town. We call up our usual guy, but he's out so he sets us up with this other guy that none of us know. We get in his van (we figured it was okay since there were four of us and only one of him) and he proceeds to drive us all over town. We figure he's getting ready to just ditch us somewhere so we start acting all goofy. Finally he lets us out and says "wait here, I'm just going around the corner and I'll be right back." There's more to the conversation, but that's the gist. So he leaves and we know he's never been in this area before and that he's just ditching us anyway, so we walk the three blocks over to my parent's house and chill out there for the rest of the night.
Kids then marriage or marriage then kids?
Whatever works.
If you had to choose between being blind or deaf which would you pick?
After a ton of thought on this one, I think I'd actually go with being deaf. I'd miss a lot of sounds, make no bones about it, but sight seems more essential to everyday life. Bah, ask me again in 10 minutes and I'm sure my answer will have changed. Matter of fact I might blog on the plusses and minuses for each. Might.
Would you rather live in a tiny apartment with 5 other people or a huge mansion alone?
Mansion alone. Totally. Hands freaking down. I need my personal space. I can always venture out and hang out with others, but when I'm in my comfort zone I need to be in control and roommates in a tiny apartment will only end in bloodshed. I guess it depends on the people. If it's me and a wife and kids or something, that'd be alright.
Would you rather date someone who had a car or a job?
Neither one is a deal breaker if you don't have it, but I guess I'd rather date someone with a job and no car than a car and no job. I can drive us around, no worries.
The RANDOM Stuff
1. Do you kick it with the same people always.. or new people?
I don't really "kick it" with anyone.
2. How many piercings do you have?
Just the two in my left ear. I think that's enough, but I wouldn't rule out one more.
3. What is your greatest accomplishment?
I'm still alive.
4. Do you see yourself as a "good" person?
No. I mean, I'm like most people in that I let my emotions rule me more than I'd care to admit and that seems to lead to either me getting hurt or my hurting others, no matter how unintentionally, but I wouldn't consider myself a "bad" person either.
5. Do you think best friends can be replaced?
No. Each relationship is different and one friend will never replace another or fill the void left by someone else's departure. They will only complete a different part of you.
7. Are you the type that would rather stay at other peoples houses or have them at yours?
Actually, neither. Too complicated to get into here I suppose, but I think you know what I mean.
The Random Stuff (apparently part 2 since the last segment was called the same thing - duh)
2. Why did you stop liking the last person you liked?
I haven't. At all.
3. Are you usually the heart breaker or the heart broken?
I'd say broken, but I would be willing to bet the other parties would beg to differ.
5. Name a quote from the song you are listening to:
"you forgot that in your fairy tale I'm the wolf".
6. What are you doing right now?
Everyone always answers "this stupid survey" so I'm going to break tradition and tell you exactly what's on my mind: I'm worried about a friend of mine, I'm lonely, I'm missing a few people (one of them quite a great deal), my stomach is in knots, my head's a mess, I wish I had a drink in my hand... I wish I were a better person, a better friend, a better... version of me. I like me, but I don't love me and I have a hard time respecting me. So I guess I've been partaking of a little introspection. If introspection is for assholes, then I'm Kim Jong-il.
7. Do you miss someone?
Most of the people I feel the closest to happen to live hundreds of miles away from me, not to mention that communication with three out of four of them has broken down recently so I can't even just write out a "hello" without feeling like I'm intruding or being an unwelcomed distraction.
8. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
I guess I'm keeping a secret, but it's more like I'm not saying things that people already know anyway. As for "needing to know the truth," I think that people, myself included, may not necessarily WANT to know the complete truth. I certainly don't want to TELL the complete truth anymore. It hurts too much.
11. Why did you cry last?
Your mom broke up with me.
12. What was the first thing you said when you woke up today?
"Oh, for fuck's sake." (The alarm went off after I had been asleep for an hour at the most.)
13. Are you tired?
I'm fucking exhausted.
14. Do you have a best friend?
There was originally a long and stupid response to this one, but I'll shorten it to this: There are people I care a great deal about and there are people who care about me. What more could I hope for?
15. What was the reason why you and your last boy/girl didn't work?
How about "none of your fucking business"? How does that grab ya?
16. Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them?
Yeah, a few. But in the end I ended up hating them again anyway.
17. What do you think of people who don't have sex before marriage?
Why is that a big deal? I say do what's right for you. Every relationship is different so you have to roll with it.
18. Do you own a pair of green pants?
Yeah, and I'll let you borrow them if you hop the next train to Fuckoffityland.
19. Are you more independent or dependent?
I'm about as co-dependent as they come.
21. Do you believe that what GOES around COMES around?
Sometimes, but most of the time it sure as shit seems like the only people who get anywhere or get what they want are complete fucking assholes.
25. What is the most important thing in any relationship?
Didn't we cover this one? I think I said "empathy" but maybe that was too cerebral. Here, how about "honesty"?
26. What is the last song to make you cry?
Gary Jules' version of "Mad World". Whenever I hear the song I picture the part of the movie that it plays during and the shot of his father weeping just annihilates me.
27. Does anyone love you?
You mean romantically? Like I'd know. Doesn't really matter. Not what I'm looking for anymore.
28. Do you love someone?
Very much.
32. Whats the one thing thats getting you through this week?
Work. How freaking sad is that?
33. Who do you miss?
Oh man, where to start? I miss everyone. I've been really lonesome lately.
34. Do you give out second chances too easily?
I give out second chances when I deem them appropriate. The flip side of that is that I ask for them on a near constant basis.
39. Ever felt that no one relates to you?
Every day of my fucking life. Most of the time it's not a bad thing, but lately it's getting on my fucking nerves.
Where are 40 and 41?
Up your butt along with the dozen or so other numbers that have gone missing from this survey so far.
42. Who do you like?
Like, "like"-like? If you don't know then I'm not going to tell you.
43. Are you a virgin?
Might as well be.
44. Do you lead people on?
I think I'm kind of the opposite... I tend to be more honest with other people than I am with myself.
45. Who are you jealous of?
There are a handful of people who absolutely do not deserve the people they are with or the situations they are in, and I'm not talking about celebrities - I am not jealous of celebrities.
46. Are you a lover or fighter?
Apparently I'm neither.
47. Do people drive you crazy?
In a general sense, there are certain human characteristics that I wish would go the fuck away. But on a personal level, yeah, there are certain people I know who should be exterminated.
49. What/who can always make you laugh most?
The Office was my escape. No matter what kind of day I had or how my life was going, I could always escape into the Office and feel better for a little while. Then the fucking writer's strike hit right when I was in a tailspin. I support the writers wholeheartedly and I'm glad the strike is quote-unquote over, but the back end of it all is that some of us count on certain things to pull us out of our lives for a while. Fortunately I've recently discovered the joys of Canada's "Trailer Park Boys", only it's not on tv in my area so I have to watch the DVDs. Netflix has at least some of them, but buying them sucks because each season is like $40, and being Canadian, their seasons are usually around 10 episodes. But it's totally worth it.
50. Who's your number 2 on myspace and why?
Someone who rules more than any of you. Well, all of you except for who's in my number one spot.
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Here's the last one from a few days ago, just in case you missed it...
Saturday February 9th, 2008 - 9:44am
1. Name Please?
No, it's DOTD, or "Dotted", or "Roffel H. LeMaow", the "H" stands for hell of kicking your ass. But lately it's been "Guano Pig"
2. Okay, but what does your best friend call you?
If I had one, I'm sure they'd still call me by my real name.
3. Have you ever kissed someone with braces?
Sure, but that was a long ass time ago.
4. Who is your 4th received call?
4th?!?! Who gives a rat's ass? 4th?! Really?
7. How many pillows on your bed?
Two. One for my head, one for the pillow holding my head.
8. Who was the person you last talked to on the phone?
My sister.
10. What was the best thing that happened to you this year?
This year? 2008? Well, we're only about 5 weeks in so far, but I guess the best thing that has happened is I'm rolling with this new screenplay. It's taking longer than I'd like, but I'm actually trying to do something I can be proud of for once.
11. Do any of your friends annoy you?
I'm sure to a certain degree, but you have to remember that I'm not the easiest person to call "friend" either, so it all balances out.
12. Who is the first person in your phonebook?
I dunno. Aoki, Rika? That would kick serious freaking b-tang.
13. When was the last time you cried from laughing so hard?
Me and Marshall H making fun of Fergie at work yesterday.
14. What school did you attend in elementary?
Mt. Diablo.
16. Who was the last person that made you laugh?
Bu.
18. Who do you make fun of the most?
Probably myself.
19. What's the longest you've ever talked on the phone?
I don't remember exactly how long it was, but it was light out when we started and the sun was coming up again when we ended.
20. How many 20 dollar bills do you have on you right now?
None, I'm in bed doing this stupid thing.
21. Have you even seen your best friend cry?
I've seen a lot of people cry. I've made a lot of people cry.
22. Where did you last go out to eat?
Local place. You don't know it.
23. Do you dance in the car?
Yeah, I bop around while listening to Asbestos Death or Akimbo while making all of the appropriate growly faces in bumper to bumper traffic.
24. What do you think of hunting?
I'm not morally opposed to it so long as you use what you kill. If you're killing something just to say you killed something or just to put its head on your wall, then I am opposed.
27. Does your mom vacuum early in the morning, when you're sleeping?
She used to vacuum on Mondays when we were all at school.
28. Are your parents in love?
Nope. Never were. I think that's why I idealize it so much in my own mind.
30. Where and how did you get your last bruise?
Don't know, don't care.
31. Hey?
Is having some random question in the middle of a survey that says nothing supposed to be funny?
32. Who is in your house right now?
A bunch of self-centered inconsiderate greedy assholes.
33. Have you ever thought you were gonna die?
Thought it a bunch of times, wished for it a few times but not many.
34. How do you like your steak?
Medium
35. What do you smell like right now?
Sleep.
36. Do you have a hard time admitting you're wrong?
I usually expect that I am wrong in any given situation. Saves time.
38. What shoes did you wear today?
It's morning, so I'm going to say I wore sneakers yesterday.
39. What makes you lose your appetite?
Lots of things. Seriously, too many things to list right here right now.
40. What color is your laundry basket?
Blue
41. Does your mom make you wear a winter coat?
I'm not answering any more questions here about my mom, just so you know.
46. Do you write a lot?
Not as much as I should. I suppose if I ever want to be any good at it I should try doing it more often.
47. What‘s your favorite pieces of clothing?
I don't have favorite clothes.
48. Can you go on MySpace from school or work?
I suppose I could, but I don't. I usually work when I'm at work.
49. Do you like MySpace?
It's falling out of favor in a big fucking way.
50. One place you want to visit?
It's not a place. It's a person.
51. What's your favorite season?
Winter. Hands down.
52. What's your favorite number?
4
53. Do you get along with your parents?
Okay, I revise my earlier answer and am now no longer answering any questions about my family at all. So from here on out any questions having to do with my family will be replaced with a stupid question of my own...
53. What is the longest you have ever grown your hair out?
Lower-middle of my back. There. One stupid family question replaced with a question that means absolutely nothing.
54. What are you listening to?
Nothing
55. What are your favorite colors?
Pink.
56. When was the last time you cried?
Not that long ago.
57. Have you ever dated someone whose name starts with a "s"?
I married someone whose name starts with an S.
58. Have you ever thought that your life was so bad you just wanted to give up?
Yup.
59. Have you ever kissed someone thats name started with a "d"?
Yup
60. How many piercings do you have?
2 in my left ear.
61. What are you thinking of right now?
Kinda pissed off at the moment for a number of different reasons. There are laughing days and introspective days and grumpy days. This is apparently a grumpy day. Everyone and everything is riding all over my nerves.
Apparently 62-68 weren't as funny as the rest of these.
69. When is the last time you blew someone off?
Intentionally? I dunno. I try not to intentionally, but I'm sure it happens. And actually it's usually my own shit that I blow off for other people, so whatever.
70. Do you like school?
Hate it, but I love learning.
71. Gotten Laid in a few days?
Not that it's any of anyone's business or that even anyone who could potentially read this would ever even give a shit much less not be repulsed by the idea, but it's been a while, thanks for that.
72. Are you nervous about something?
No. Disappointed maybe.
73. are you happy?
In a general sense, I guess so. I'm not as depressed as I've been in recent months and I'm not as angry either, so there's that. I guess overall I'm happy, just frustrated, disappointed and a little grumpy today, but I'm sure the grumpiness will go away in a little while.
74. Who is the weirdest person you know?
Are you kidding? Virtually everyone I know is a fucking tard, and I mean that in the most affectionate way. It's insane, but sometimes I feel like I'm the sanest person I know, and I'm a total fucking tard.
75. do you know someone that's gay?
Of course. Is that supposed to be shocking? What would be shocking to me would be for you to NOT know someone that's gay.
76. If so, what do you think about it?
What exactly is there to think about? Some folks are gay, some folks like basketball, some folks like dogs, some folks are into hunting, some folks don't watch movies with subtitles... Who gives a shit? Aren't there more important things to be worrying about? I mean, SERIOUSLY?!?!
83. Have you ever been to Washington DC?
Nope. Don't know anyone there I'd want to visit yet.
84. Who is the last person you hung out with?
I dunno.
85. What is the last concert you went to?
I don't remember. I think it was Napalm Death like a year and a half ago.
86. Do you like animated movies?
I like good animated movies. Animated or not, it has to have a good story.
87. Do you cry a lot?
I didn't used to, then I had that bad patch for a few months. I'm coming out of it. I did recently, but other than that I guess it's tapering off.
88. Have you ever dated someone whose name starts with a "J"?
Yup
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Aaand, the one from the end of last month...
Sunday, January 27th 2008, 6:49pm
01.) To whom did you last give the finger?
It was a general finger giving. Not to anyone in particular, just whoever happened to be unlucky enough toget in the finger's way. It's the only way that some people will learn.
02.) If you had one thousand dollars, what would you buy?
I'd save it for a rainy day. But then, I hate going outside when it's raining, so I'd probably never spend it. Unless I bought something online. Then I'd probably just buy a huge napkin made out of something really rare, like a vampire. Then I'd just use it once and throw it away, because really, who needs a thousand dollar napkin? That's just ridiculous.
03.) What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
Apparently my mouth wakes up much later than the rest of me because almost every morning as I'm glugging down my coffee and protein shake elixir, I end up wearing almost a third of it. Seriously. Every freaking morning. But since I shower immediately afterwards, no problemo, bro!
04.) Are you different now than you were six months ago?
Let's see... six months ago would have been July 28th. Actually I had some pretty freaking amazing plans go sour for that weekend. Around that time there was a lot of emotions flying around in the land of me, so I guess that's calmed a bit, maybe for the better, maybe not. But am I a different person now? Maybe I'm a little more needy, yet a little more guarded at the same time. I dunno, you tell me...
05.) Have you kissed a girl in the last three days?
Does Bu count? Ew, Bu shouldn't count. Besides, her version of kissing back is to start kicking the shit out of me with her foot claws drawn. Not something I really look forward to, to be honest.
06.) When/where was the last photograph you took?
Two days ago I went outside to hop into my truck to get to work and the mountain that I reside at the foot of had received it's first snowfall of the year. I took a few pictures of it but none of them came out. Now the snow has mostly melted, but it's supposed to get pretty freaking cold and stormy this week. If it snows and I get some good pics I'll post them in a blog or something. So you've got that to look forward to.
07.) Where were you last night around 9:30pm?
That's a good question. I was RIGHT HERE!!
08.) What do you think of guys who wear eyeliner?
Sarah said it best - "clowns. either way you wanna look at it." I personally think they are either terribly insecure, or masking some kind of horrific personality flaw. I dunno, chicks seem to fall for it though. People can do whatever the hell they want, what do I care?
09.) How many hours did you sleep last night?
Three and a half. That's more than I've gotten in one shot in a long freaking time.
10.) Who was the last person to whom you spoke on the phone for over and hour?
I dunno. I talked to Maryann for a long time but I don't think it was more than an hour, and that was a few weeks ago. Who knows.
11.) Justin Timberlake shows up at your door, what do you do?
Ask him what the actual "wardrobe malfunction" was. I mean, he grabs her boob and tears away the piece of costume that's supposed to be torn away, thus revealing the boobie. What was the malfunction? What exactly was supposed to happen? You fool no one, Mr. 'Lake! Good day to you, sir!!
12.) How was the last egg you ate prepared?
Poorly.
13.) Where did you last wear sunglasses?
It's been a long time since I wore the sunglasses, but I'm thinking it had to be when I was driving sometime. I hate the sun.
14.) Ever worn your underwear backwards?
Not on purpose. It's usually pretty easy to tell when it goes on the wrong way. All kinds of things don't feel right.
15.) Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence?
Mimi. The kicker is she doesn't really smoke that much. Plus she smokes these cool little Canadian cigarettes. You know what I like about Canadians? They're total dorks, but they have zero qualms about being total dorks. Little baby smokelettes? Differently sized money? "Aboot"? Awesome!
16.) Does it bother you when people put "&&" before every sentence and ";;" after?
I have no freaking idea what the hell you're talking about. Are you having a seizure?
17.) What animal did you last pet or hold?
That would be a Bu, sir or ma'am.
18.) What was the last law you broke?
The Zeroth law of thermodynamics.
19.) What are you wearing?
Big red shoes, suspenders, a burka, and no pants.
20.) What did you think of your last kiss?
I don't remember. It was a long freaking time ago.
21.) What was the last newspaper you read or skimmed?
Actual newspaper newspaper? I try to stay away from those things. If they reported actual news and not sensationalist end-of-the-world styled horrors, I'd be more inclined.
22.) What was the last word written on your hand?
"Grapes"
23.) What was the last hair product you used?
Um... shampoo. No, the conditioner came after the shampoo. Conditioner.
24.) What was the last text message you received?
Lemme check, hold on...
Okay, aside from the work related messages, it says "Happy New Year!"
25.) What was the last medication you took?
Prescription? Lord, I dunno... might have been something for my hips. Wait, it was, but it was Vicodin to manage the pain. That was a while ago.
26.) Who was the last person to make you really laugh?
I think the last time I really laughed out loud was talking with Maryann. She's a pistol, she is. No wait, it was Mimi. We were doing our whole "Dear Mr. whoever" bit and it went off to ridiculous proportions.
27.) What song did you last sing along to?
"Polar Nights" by Scorpions, but it was more in a mocking tone since Uli Roth sang it and you just have no idea what the hell he's warbling about. As opposed to their normal singer, Klaus Meine, who you just have no idea what he's screeching about.
28.) What was the last musical instrument played in your presence?
By someone other than myself? I dunno. Noseflute.
29.) What was the last superstitious thing you did?
Burned a witch.
30.) What's the last good book you read?
I'm trying to get a foothold on "The Devil in the White City" by Erik Larson that MhatMhatMhat let me borrow a few weeks ago, but I just can't seem to find enough time to just sit and enjoy a book lately. But what I've read of it so far is really good. The next titles on my list of must reads are "The Atrocity Exhibition" by J.G. Ballard, and "American Way of Death" by Jessica Mitford. Hmmm... now that I put them all side by side like that, seems like a bit of a downer. Maybe I should throw in some Dr. Seuss just to balance some shit out.
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Okay, now this shit right here is definitely going bye-bye real soon, so soak this shit up while you can...
Friday, December 7th, 1:22am
Here's a new one... Twenty little known things that may or may not be true about me. Pick out the falsies and the realies and you get a prize.
1. I freaking hate Elvis. I honestly don't know what it is about him and his music, but it makes me violent. The only Elvis I actually like is the bloated Vegas Elvis, stuff like "Suspicious Minds" and "In the Ghetto" I like. Go figure.
2. I don't know what you call it, but you know when you climb up between two walls where you put your left hand and left foot on one wall and your rights on the other and you sort of shimmy your way up to the ceiling like a monkey or something? My brother and I used to do it at one end of the hallway, back by our parents room and go all the way down the hall and around the corner into the living room while up on the walls like that. Simple minds.
3. I once ate a gorilla. His friends were teasing me so I told them to knock it off or I'd eat their buddy. They didn't believe me. Tastes like tuna. Like tuna salad, only made with avocado instead of mayonnaise.
4. My family name was Hitler but they changed it when I was born after they were going through a book of baby names and my dad said "hey, what about naming him Adolf?" That's when they realized.
5. I like dipping pizza in ranch dressing.
6. When I was a kid my sister used to make me peanut butter and brown sugar sandwiches. Then she would fold them in half and take a bite out of the center. All my friends at school thought my family was insane.
7. I made a time machine out of old bike parts and a can of spray on hair. It worked pretty good for a while, but i lost it in the Mesozoic era and had to hitch a ride back to the present with a punker chick who made one out of crack pipes and used tampons. It smelled kinda funny, but it looked noice!
8. I once ate almost a full pint of frozen yogurt. But wait, there's more! It was banana flavored. But wait! I'm allergic to bananas. BUT W-W-W-W-WAIT! I thought that there couldn't possibly be any real bananas in frogurt. I was sadly mistaken. I remember the doctor asking me "what were you thinking?" and the only thing I could say in my defense was "it wasn't ice cream." To this day I have no idea what that means.
9. When I was about 20 I went to my girlfriend's place and her mom left us a note saying that she rented a movie for us to watch. Basic Instinct.
10. I got a penis reduction to impress the ladies.
11. James Hetfield from Metallica borrowed a record from me in 1986 and never gave it back.
12. I want a pet chicken.
13. I can speak backwards fluently.
14. My name means "Muzorewa" in Transylvanian.
15. I don't like the movie "Buckaroo Bonzai" which makes me a pariah among most of my friends.
16. If I concentrate really hard I can read my cat's mind. I don't like doing it, though, because she's evil and she hates me.
17. I can't read.
18. My sternum has a crack in it and sometimes it catches on itself in a weird way and causes an uncomfortable sensation that I've found impossible to describe.
19. I was clinically dead for almost 4 minutes when I was a kid, but just when the doctors had totally given up hope, they said a guy and some oddly dressed woman appeared out of nowhere on a pile of glass tubes and bloody sponges, grabbed me, and then disappeared into thin air. 2 seconds later I walked through the door and started playing with my legos.
20. I can hold my breath for over a year.
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And this, dear readers, is one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life. I don't know how well it's going to translate for folks who aren't familiar with this style of music to begin with, but for me, seriously, I almost lost consciousness I was laughing so hard.
Here 'tis...
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