I created this profile because I was a victim a physical and mental and sexual abuse.I was to scared to come forward when it happened to me and when I finally got the nerve to go forward it was too late.So I want to try to take my bad situation and help other women who are or have been in this kind of situation.If you have been abused or raped and just need someone to talk to who understands how you feel Im here.And if you have been raped or abused dont make the mistake I did go forward there are very nice dectives that will do their best to help you.You dont have to be afraid they can protect you.And even if you are in a relationship and its your boyfriend that is abusing you or raping you it is still a crime no means no.And you can stop him I know its hard its had for me to just type the word rape and even harder to say it.But I let the man who done that to me get away only to find out I wasnt the only one.We both were to afraid to come forward and now its too late.So hes walking the streets free to do this to another woman and he will.Same as if you are in this situation chances are you arent the first and probably wont be the last.We as women and even men who want these rapist off the streets need to join together and support each other.
If you write me and this has happened to you but you dont want to go forward I wont try to force you to go forward I understand that you just need someone to talk to.But I can tell you it might be hard at first and you will do alot of crying when you go forward.But when its all over you will feel alittle better because he got what he deserves.You can sleep better ay night knowing hes in jail.Instead of wondering at night about every little noise you here if its him coming back for you.I deal with this fear every night it effects how I do everything.Im slowly over coming the fear but its not easy I still wont go places alone and my husband is being wonderful about everything.Cause there are times a freak out at night and make him get up and check things out at three in the morning or when I have nightmares that I wake up screaming because Im reliving every moment of the horrible things that happened to me.He doesnt get angry he just tries to help the best he can but like he told me he doesnt know what to say because he wasnt the one it happened to.But in a way it happens to every person around you that loves you it hurts them all to see you going through the things you are going through and No their pain is nothing like yours.So I m going to stop here for now because i can keep going because I have been through alot.And I know it is hard to even talk about it and alot of women will look but just go on hiding the secert inside of them like I did for a little over a year.There are still things that happened to me that I cant bring myself to even say in my mind.
But just remember I am here if you need to talk and even if it takes you months or years I will be here.I have decided that instead of always feeling upset about the things that happened that I will help other women out to get these MONSTERS OF THE STREET.
And men are welcome to talk to if they know someone who has been a victim of any of these things and having a hard time dealing with things you can write too I can try to help or my husband can try to help you from a man point of veiw who has been where you are now.
Now I need to include I am trying to help with parents whose children are victims of abuse I know some people that were abused as a child and as a child was abused by a family member.All types of abuse is hard to handle.For everyone who is in the situation.When these things happened to me and someone who cared for me would say it hurt them to I would lash out and tell them it wasnt them who went through these things so how could it possibly hurt them.But now that its getting a little easier I realize for my husband it was hard to see the bruises and other damage that was done.And its also hard because these horrible events will change you.And basically he had to learn the person I changed to.The old me is gone and will never fully come back.It took him a little to understand that I wouldnt be able to go back to the way I was before but after talking about it a little bit he started understanding.
As for him being able to touch me its still hard a year later to let him just hug me.And it will be hard for you too, to being able to handle someone toching you or even just the simple little things like when someone is playing with you and comes up behind you and scares you.It can cause you to panic and have the fear and memories of the night your attacked happened come back.
So dont feel bad or ashamed if you cant handle your husband, boyfriend, or just a friend touching you.Its normal after being attacked to not want anyone around you or anyone to touch you.But just remember eventually you have to pick up the pieces and its going to be hard but you cant let that monster get away with ruinning your life because Ill though right now you might feel like your life is ruined its not you can still live the life you wanted before your attack happened.
Someone pointed something out to me that We are no longer victims We are surviors.And now heres our chance to help someone though their pain and help them become a survior too.
This is a poem I found that just completly fit how I feel about the things that happened to me and maybe you can relate to it too.
Please dont tell me not to cry
Please dont say there was a reason why
You dont know what I am feeling
Or how much I hurt
The wet spots are from tears on the collar of my shirt
You think I should go on with my life
Forget about it and be strong
But deep down I am sad, and I dont want to go along
I dont expect you to understand why
For no apparent reason I break down and start to cry
My life has changed forever, you see
And thats why I am not acting like the same ole me
So please dont try to act like nothing happened
Because its changed my life forever
I will never be the same again
Not today, not tomorrow, but never
The best thing you can do for me is just to be there
Just like always, my friend
My broken heart is hurting bad
And it will NEVER MEND!!!!
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