I used to have a proper name,
But Now its Mutton Geoff.
If yer wonder why they call me that,
Its coz im completely deaf.
But there are also other reasons,
Like I love the taste of mutton.
I’d Kill ya for a juicy piece,
But I aint no murderer of nuttin.
I used to own a flock of sheep,
Coz I worked on a farm.
But coz cause they took to long to muttonise,
I resorted to self harm.
I used to be a board game player,
I were Grand master at chess.
If you got me in check mate,
I’d pound ya to a mess.
You know I taught meself to lip read,
So now I know what your saying.
But those veil people are a problem,
So I’ll kill them when they’re praying.
I got taught how to read brail,
By me blind mate shaun.
Now I can read Harry potter,
When I am watching porn!!!
I’m a massive fan of Postman pat,
I’ve got all the memorabilia.
When its not on the tv,
I resort to necrophilia.
There’s one more reason you should know,
Why they call me Mutton Geoff.
Its because when I was born,
My Christian Name was Geoff!!!!
