Lytwyn profile picture

Lytwyn

They told me to stick my head up my bottom!

About Me

ahh Clitwin, what can I say really. After winning those wet t shirt contests in my beautiful home town of Flin Flon (total of $1700) I feel so meaningless in my life, nothing is as good :( well not really. But I am trying to make my way in the poverty world of journalism. Oh and now Standup Comedy...you have probably seen me around Winnipeg bars on stage being hilarious, or in the bathroom practicing oral..what a nice janitor...awe can you hear that...listen..can you hear my Dad crying..awe RICHARD.MY MONTAGE created for school, Had to make up a concept and set it to any music. My little brother is the star..he did so good. Awe... width="425" height="350" ..

Layout Created at MyProfilePimp.com

My Interests

Pretty much anything that involves naked ladies...oh no wait that's not me..that's my friend Rod. Hot Rod. mmmm anything where I am rewarded at the end with a Heinken...and perhaps a game of Battleship. I love guys with beards...facial hair of any kind really. I mean who doesn't want a mustache ride?Check out my possible fame and fortune Movie trailer...wet t-shirt contest winner..Sharla! I give you...Knockers!.. width="425" height="350" ..

I'd like to meet:

Just meet, or also sleep with. Because I would love to meet and sleep with Adam Brody (aka Seth Cohen), Ryan Dunn, Dane Cook, Stephen Colbert, the dude who plays George off of Grey's Anatomy, and your Dad.Chuck Klosterman..and pick his excellent brain, he is a writer..of 4 amazing books..his progress is undeniable. I would love to meet Ben Gibbard from Death cab.

Music:

Yes Yes I am a loser Emonkey...I listen to Bloc Party, Clinic, Radiohead, Bright Eyes, Broken Social Scene, Interpol, Ron Sexsmith, Martin Tielli, City and Colour, Death Cab, The Shins, Louis XIV,Coldplay, Strung Out, Hives, Strokes, Killers, Muse, Explosions in the Sky, The Licks, Metric, Editors, She wants revenge, Spoon and Placebo. I also change it up when performing personal strip teases...usually Easy-E's College girls are easy or Bobby Brown's Humpin around.CARA TRIES TO PERFORM STANDUP COMEDY...my first time awe I wish I wouldn't have been so nervous, hold me?.. width="425" height="350" .. .. width="425" height="350" ..

Movies:

Little Miss Sunshine, Brick, Stranger Than Fiction, The Departed, Thank You for Smoking, Brokeback Mountain, Almost Famous, Closer, Garden State, Haggard, Friday Night Lights, Fubar, A Scanner Darkly, Donnie Darko, Crash, Jarhead, and Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Television:

The Office, Colbert Report, Six Feet Under, Chappelle's Show, Family Guy, Grey's Anatomy, Arrested Development..and ugh I am sorry The O.C. I am just obessed with that sardonic and dreamy Cohen, but I am ashamed for watching anything on FOX.

Books:

Catcher in the Rye, pretty much anything bye that crazy loon Salinger. (notice the spelling error there...this is in the literary section muhaha) Love Chuck Klosterman...Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, the new book is excellent. Trainspotting, A Clockwork Orange, A Scanner Darkly, The Bell Jar, and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, the sweet hereafter, Fight Club and well anything by Chuck Palahnick.

Heroes:

Ralph Wiggum, honestly he is not given enough credit. Also Andy Samburg, Jeremy Holtz, Mitch Hedberg, and David Cross. All the lovely strippers I used to DJ for..especially Alice In Chains. Oh and of course Deaner and Terry.

My Blog

2nd Letter to Editor - Free Press/Globe

Words: 253 I really hate to say this, but Paris Hilton is completely right.In a recent article from the Associated Press, Hilton revealed that she was shocked at the public attention she has received ...
Posted by Lytwyn on Wed, 13 Jun 2007 04:19:00 PST

Paris Hilton- My WPG Free Press Letter

Re: Spring time for Paris-and it's a real shame column June 8, 2007 by Lindor Reynolds.  I completely agree with Lindor Reynolds column. I think the only significant part of this entire debacle is tha...
Posted by Lytwyn on Sat, 09 Jun 2007 02:16:00 PST

Random Mute Blow Jobs

SO when you lose your voice, you really pick and choose what to say a lot more. You also rethink who in your life is actually worth talking to..or writing to.Well none of this is true actually, I've ...
Posted by Lytwyn on Thu, 17 May 2007 09:40:00 PST

I Can't Grow Hair in My Armpits!

Okay I'm goin to turn 23 in 2 months...I've hit puberty. At least I think I have...judging by the oversized boobs and the ball dropping. (I drop them in my mouth).Anyways it's weird. I check everyday....
Posted by Lytwyn on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 01:32:00 PST

I still don't fuck guys named Glen.

Or Gary, Albert, Milton, Harry, Tony, Theodore (which is really just a fancy pants "Ted")Jason Beck said my blogs read like penthouse letters..and well after reviewing them he is correct. The Flin Flo...
Posted by Lytwyn on Mon, 26 Feb 2007 08:02:00 PST

How much Sex is Too Much?

Pervert.
Posted by Lytwyn on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 12:38:00 PST

New Song and New Life.

So you may have listened to my new myspace song and thought."I know this..where do I know this." "It puts the lotion on it's skin" by aka my dream man Buffalo Bill.I've learned that taking 2 months o...
Posted by Lytwyn on Fri, 09 Feb 2007 08:03:00 PST

Easy E died of Aids. So did the Dad on Brady Bunch.

Hey Kids, You may have noticed I am featuring 'Gimme that Nut' by Easy E on myspace page. I just want to send the positive message that althought I do enjoy the lyrics and porno growls featured in thi...
Posted by Lytwyn on Thu, 18 Jan 2007 10:06:00 PST

My Take on This (end of) year's Comedy in Winnipeg...and I have boobs.

Since I really didn't get hot and heavy with Winnipeg Comedy til the Fall of 2007, this survey isn't really accurate, valid, or entirely honest. Favourite On Stage Laughs: Helen describing girls post...
Posted by Lytwyn on Thu, 21 Dec 2006 11:42:00 PST

Dick in a box..Merry Christmas.

Dick in a Box..the new single from Justin T, wow, that is what I want for xmas. Mustache ride takes a back seat. Why do the holidays bring out all the creeps? Seriously, suddenly I am getting all the...
Posted by Lytwyn on Tue, 19 Dec 2006 05:44:00 PST