Cock Soup? profile picture

Cock Soup?

Who doesn't like soup?

About Me





I have a beautiful wife, three kids a dog a cat and a lot of contempt. I am not laughing with you. I like catch phrases. Things like "There's more than one way to skin an egg without making an omlette." I also enjoy any sentence that ends in "Fuckoffityville", as in "They can take a train to Fuckoffityville." I've learned from others and have been self taught. I've learned from others that there is no shortage of assholes. I have taught myself to avoid assholes. All in all though, I feel as if I've been asleep so long I can only dream of being awake.

My Interests

Mostly myself, I could talk about me forever! As a matter of fact I'm delighted that you are interested enough to read this! Oh hell I guess cause I'm a geek I like board games and math. When cooking scrambled eggs use sour cream. This makes them very rich and tasty. If you can't make proper scrambled eggs you're a loser.

I'd like to meet:

Producers of Musak! I would help them to their special place in Hell. Most other people I want to meet are cartoon characters. And since I'm not a cartoon I won't get that chance. If I was a cartoon then my life would be run by animators instead of some crazy half-baked monkey who's pissed on Lysol. I never liked change so I'll stick with stupid reality! If you're the type of person to party at my house and then puke on my couch or stairs or piss a bed, I've got plenty of friends like that so no thanks. I would like to meet another catcher in the rye.

Music:

Clutch,DK,Tom Waites,Sepultura, Opeth, Helmet, Prong,assorted others and now the Nads. Gwar cracks me up and I like a lot of old school shit like the Ramones. I also like the Ratpack, Dino was the shit.

Movies:

Fight Club, The Usual Suspects, The Empire Strikes Back, Goodfellas, Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle and that porn I'm in. Just a bit part but still a classic. I mean for dialogue that was A+ material.

Television:

I like programs where something gets eaten. A rabbit or a deer maybe or killer whale vs. seal or poodle vs. navy seal. Survivorman is a great show, the guy just starves out in the middle of nowhere. It makes me hungry so I always have lots of food on hand while I watch Les suffer.

Books:

I read all the time! I've read books that I put in the garbage when I was done like War and Peace that was crappy, I put Needful Things in the garbage at about halfway. And sometimes I'm reading a book and I think "Hey! This book writing thing has got to be easy. If they'll publish this garbage they might as well publish my book." So if you have an idea and want me to write a book about it I will be happy to.

Heroes:

People who let you change lanes. The blindfolded pianist. It's tough to think of anybody who's more worthy than my Father. That guy shaped my life and I'm very fortunate to have had him as my friend.

My Blog

Stomache problem? Try Kefir

"Kefir is like yogurt." And tequila is like beer. My lanlady told me that this awful crap helps the body. It is like a miracle for me, no heartburn, no indigestion, but it tastes like beer milk that i...
Posted by Cock Soup? on Wed, 04 Jul 2007 08:16:00 PST

I thought so

I don't ever read anyone's blog. People won't read this one.
Posted by Cock Soup? on Tue, 03 Jul 2007 04:37:00 PST