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Funny

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I think people think I'm stuck-up, but really I'm just so painfully shy that I rarely talk to anyone that doesn't talk to me first. In fact, being around lots of people often makes me physically ill. If it wasn't for running late, I wouldn't get any exercise. I want to build two stone towers onto my house and transform it into a castle. Baltimore needs more castles. And if I can't have a stone castle or gothic cathedral, I want a blow up one. I collect Star Wars toys. And no, not Episodes 1, 2, or 3, I'm a little too mature for that. I think this chick is lucky. I'm currently in 14 different bands that never practice. I'm gonna get covered in tattoos when I start doing rap shows so I can write the expense off on my taxes. I'm really not very good at anything except making fun of people. I guess my only chance of having a successful career would be to work for the Frair's Club roasting people. But then I'd have to get up in front of all those people. I want to build big things like an indoor basketball/tennis court in my yard, a huge underground dog igloo into one of my hills and a huge tree house. I blame this all on playing with Legos by myself for too many hours as a child. I know we met a couple of years ago but I won't say "Hello" because I assume you forgot me. I'm socially awkward. This is my dog, Homeless, the last time we took a bath. It was kinda weird because we normally lick each other clean.

My Interests

Misting the dragons. Snoring. Music, movies and friends. I guess I must also secretly like gardening cause I'm always digging holes and putting things in them. And making music. NFL with HDTV, it's so beautiful. Anything is fun with the right people. I'm on the Handsome Devils indoor soccer team. I suck, but I need the exercise. Plus my lack of skill makes the other team members feel better about themselves. If I were rich, I'd collect comic books. Denmark. Animals like me more than people do. I am a poacher and keep continually adding to my collection pets. Searching for Jesus and other mythological beings.

I'd like to meet:

Various Droids

Music:

The 80's. Pop music was sooo much better when it was made by preppy people with mullets. The Alkaline Trio, Beastie Boys, Peter Gabriel, Ludacris, Pop Will Eat Itself, DESCENDENTS/ALL, Strike Anywhere, Scorpions, AC/DC, Duran Duran, 7 Seconds, Kraftwerk, Government Issue, Cleophus, The Diabolical Biz Markie, Green Day, Circle Jerks, LL Coool J, Black Flag, RUN DMC, AOD, FOD, SOD, MOD, 3 Inches Of Blood, Embrace, The Clash, Iron Maiden, DMX, The Dead Milkmen, Public Enemy, Reggie and the Full Effect, The Who, Necrofeast, Minor Threat, Scotch, Van Halen, The Misfits, Hot Water Music, Red Hot Chili Peppers, AVAIL, DagNasty, NoFX, Rise Against, Eric B. and Rakim, Kid Dynamite, Texas Is The Reason, Gorilla Biscuits, Samiam, Face To Face, Journey, Helmet, Genesis (and I'm not ashamed to admit I like Phil Collins too), The Inqusition, Swank, Quadiliacha, Fun Size, Less Than Jake, Agnostic Front, The Exploited, Anthrax, The Police, Bad Religion, Judas Priest, Ice T, AFI, The Cure, Flogging Molly, Fugazi, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Bad Brains, Suicidal Tendencies, Dio, The Vandals, Blink 182, Pennywise, The Ramones, Billy Idol, Ministry, Dokken, The Bouncing Souls, DOA, Black Sheep, Big Wig, Discount, Boston, The Skunks, Down By Law, Joe Jackson, Primus, The Smiths, Jackson Browne, Twisted Sister, Snuff, Big Audio Dynamite, Rick Springfield, Goldfinger, The Warlock Pinchers, The Cars, The B-52's, Gang Green, Salt-N-Pepa, Corrosion Of Conformity, Big Country, Urban Dance Squad, GBH, Quiet Riot, Bruce Springsteen, Tori Amos, Weezer, and the greatest of all time-- John Williams. Pretty much any band that John Munchler is not in.

Movies:

LOTR, Love Actually, Army of Darkness, True Romance, ALIEN movies, 5th Element, John Cusack movies, Kevin Smith movies, The Empire Strikes Back, Kill Bill

Television:

I just want everyone that thinks films are so much more intellectual than tv to eat a bag of dicks while watching "Weekend At Bernies" or "Weekend At Bernies 2". I can't believe anyone thought the first movie was so good it deemed a sequel necessary. The Daily Show, South Park, The Colbert Report, Sopranos, Scrubs

Books:

RA Salvatore because brutal industrial music forms in my head when I'm reading about the dark elves. But really, I work too many hours to do any reading. It's sad, I know. It was nice. **********************************************But now I must quote a man who voted for Bush. "What has anyone ever learned from reading a book?"--- William Todd Painter

Heroes:

Wedge. Funilingus Khan, the greatest general of all time. The world needs someone to inspire them. I hope you all aren't waiting on me. I found my new hero:

My Blog

A comment on an often used phrase

"EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. I've used that expression to rationalize many things".  I'm not knocking your theory, but I think you say it yourself, you rationalize it.  I think things j...
Posted by Funny on Mon, 26 Mar 2007 10:52:00 PST

Thought of the day.

If god created man, why did he give adam and eve belly buttons?
Posted by Funny on Sat, 17 Mar 2007 11:50:00 PST

I don't know how that Ramrod video got on my page

It was just under "videos". It was a hidden treasure for any fool who might happen to click on videos. How did it become this huge pressence on my otherwise totally awesome page?
Posted by Funny on Sat, 16 Dec 2006 10:42:00 PST

You don't really notice how far dog nipples stick out...

until they're shaved. And it's 8 nipples. Mystery solved. I'm sure in a month I'll forget and start to wonder again if its 6 or 8.
Posted by Funny on Sat, 16 Dec 2006 10:38:00 PST

wisdom for children

The only thing you'll get out of life is dissapointment. Please feel free to add your own wise saying.
Posted by Funny on Tue, 19 Sep 2006 07:44:00 PST

My tombstone

I always thought that when I died, I'd get "Tak" on my tombstone like my grandfather. It means "thanks" in Danish.  But now I'm thinking I should get, "Sorry, I was just being stupid."
Posted by Funny on Sat, 02 Sep 2006 10:46:00 PST

Isn't she lovely

Isn't she beautiful.
Posted by Funny on Wed, 15 Mar 2006 07:05:00 PST

You're smart, I'm dumb.

I don't know if you noticed the big hunk of crap taking up alot of space in my basement. It was a television. It took me over a year and a half to pay for it. It was beautiful. Stunning. And it could ...
Posted by Funny on Tue, 24 Jan 2006 06:36:00 PST

boy and girl parts

Girl : Penises are weird looking. Me : You cannot say a penis is weirder looking than that whole sci-fi looking alien crotch you guys have. Are those gills? Can you breathe underwater with that stuff?...
Posted by Funny on Thu, 01 Dec 2005 09:06:00 PST

Pick up lines

Someone asked me my best pick up lines. I really can't rate them but here are a couple that have gotten me laid an inexplicible amount of times. Let me know if any of you have any good ones to share. ...
Posted by Funny on Thu, 01 Dec 2005 08:53:00 PST