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Benny Nothing

Days go by... and still I think of you

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The biggest part of my drive consists of the decisions that are made with my being involved. Just about everything a person does is going to piss me off whether I'm okay with the act itself or not. It's their decision to do it despite the possible risks of me not approving. Of course that is selfish as hell. Although at the same time it isn't selfish. I wouldn't think that way toward someone that I didn't think of first when I'm making a decision. Thats the only reason I get butthurt about anything they do.

In my opinion I'm way under appreciated. The people around me don't ever see what I do for them. No one. They just figure they could have done it themselves or just don't care. Most of the time it's that they just don't care. Which is obvious to me because it's things I know they wouldn't have been able to do themselves at the time.

Beside the hate. I do have things that are going for me in this life. Things I love. One of which is my girlfriend Kirsten. Who means the world to me. I have my computer. Which also means alot to me. It's gotten me through life. Which to most people would mean I never had a life. Because I loved being on my damn computer. Thats where I was most of the time. I also love my home. I personally am thankful as hell that I was able to get it.

I live in Centralia Washington. In that new house I was talking about. It's got three bedrooms. Two of which are occupied by the other half of the rent. My friend Ryan, his girlfriend Arica, and their baby girl Amelia. And myself and Kirsten in the master. Then there is Chris. Who sleeps on our couch. Chris is a douche bag. And I hate him.

One passion I have in life is the alternative. Not alternative to young people's perspective. Just the elderly. Or people thirty or more years old. Haha. I have my lip pierced twice, on the bottom, snake bites. I have my left nostril pierced, 14 gauge. Ouch. I have had my eyebrow pierced six times, in three different spots. Meaning three rings at once. Two different times. Basically, that was a really really bad idea. Now I have one bar in my eyebrow and the rest is just scarred really bad. I stretched my ears to a triple zero. I didn't like that. So I let them shrink. They are still way too big. But better. Then I have two holes above the stretched holes on each ear. I put five in at once on the cartilage on top on my left ear. But that wouldn't heal and stayed too infected. So I had to take them all out. I want them back and I will have them back. I also have a rod in my tongue. Of course. As most people who love it do. I want more. And there will be more. Definitely not done.

I have one tattoo on the bottom of my right forearm. It is the funeral of hearts. Not sure who designed it really. But it's a picture related with the band HIM. As well as a song title and blah blah. Just like the piercing situation. I definitely plan to tattoo way more. Starting with getting the damn tattoo I already have filled in for god sakes.

I love playing guitar. Another thing that has taken me through hard times in the past is guitar. I don't really have an electric anymore. My beloved was smashed to peices by the girlfriend when she decided me driving off despite her anger was worthy of destroying my only guitar. My first guitar. It was like a child. As anyone could see. Kirsten obviously means alot to me. Or... Or lets not go there. :).

I love listening to music. I could sit for hours clicking around on my desktop and listening to music. Or just sitting in the chair. Anything. As long as the music is on. I love metal. I love electronica. I love anything that strikes me as amazing.

Music:



Movies:


In memory of Ryan HAH
|| Zombie Nightmare ||
|| Zombie Lake ||
|| Night of the Living Dead ||
|| Dawn of the Dead ||
|| Pet Cemetary ||
|| Evil Dead I ||
|| Evil Dead II ||
|| Garden of the Dead ||
|| Day of the Dead ||
|| City of the Walking Dead ||
|| Braindead ||
|| Enemy at the Gates ||
|| Behind Enemy Lines ||
|| Blow ||
|| Banana Phone ||
|| Con Air ||
|| Cast Away ||
|| House of 1000 Corpses ||
|| Devils Rejects ||
|| Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas ||
|| Young Guns ||
|| Queen of the Damned ||

Heroes:



:)

My Blog

Realization

It depresses me to know that it is time to stop expecting things that you want. From people that should really be trying to give it to you. And the reason for this is. If you don't expect something th...
Posted by Benny Nothing on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 06:02:00 PST

TAKE MY FUCKIN QUIZ

Create your own friendquiz here ...
Posted by Benny Nothing on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 11:56:00 PST

Fix It!

I now.Have no camera.Have no guitar.Of the few good cloths I have more was ruined.No job. And every job I try to get they give me excuses why I can't work there.I had a job. But my dumbass left it bec...
Posted by Benny Nothing on Wed, 11 Oct 2006 07:36:00 PST

Just once.

I thought just once it was going to go without a plan to drink. Just once. But it never fails. I just didn't hear it. The plan had been there all along. I know where this is gonna lead.
Posted by Benny Nothing on Tue, 19 Sep 2006 07:37:00 PST

I want

For them to cut all fucking ties. Thats what I want.
Posted by Benny Nothing on Sat, 16 Sep 2006 03:47:00 PST

:(

I'm Scared.
Posted by Benny Nothing on Fri, 01 Sep 2006 05:15:00 PST

!

I want more than anything for life to work! I will do my best to make everything work. I am trying hard. Mostly failing inside. But I have not given up. And I will not give up. I will continue to sacr...
Posted by Benny Nothing on Fri, 25 Aug 2006 05:09:00 PST

Is it hell?

I hate uneasyness. I just sit here and everything is so awkward lately. I can't stand the awkwardness with everything. No matter who it is. And what I am doing everything seems like no one wants to ta...
Posted by Benny Nothing on Sat, 19 Aug 2006 03:35:00 PST

Nineteen.

Always unsteady inside. Will I ever get ahold of my self? My life? It dosn't feel like it. Feeling so tragic so soon. So young. Nineteen. Thats when. I am starting to see it. And why. Where it came fr...
Posted by Benny Nothing on Sat, 19 Aug 2006 04:58:00 PST

Good Night.

I'm always... wrong. And all I do is make it fade away. Always happens. Fades away. This time it's my fault. I wish it would just stop fading. Its happening so fast. And I am sure I wont be able to st...
Posted by Benny Nothing on Fri, 18 Aug 2006 03:18:00 PST