Candy Ass profile picture

Candy Ass

When things start to go down, I run the other way.

About Me

I take some getting used to.

My Interests

Don't worry about it. Seriously. If whatever I put here interests you, then that would make them your interests. So just fill out your own Interests box and then pretend that I like those things too.

I'd like to meet:

Someone with dreams as screwed up as mine. I don't want to hang out with this person, but I definitely want to meet them.

Music:

I think this pretty much says it all:

Movies:

Pretty much all of 'em, except for the ones that suck, the ones that pretend to be artsy but the director is full of crap, and the ones where they simply could NOT do an adaptation without changing all the best parts. So, like, 3 movies.

Television:

Lost, 24, Jericho, BSG, How I Met Your Mother, The Simpsons, South Park, The Office (UK), The Office (US), House, Good Eats!, Robot Chicken, X-Play, the first three minutes of any CSI: Miami episode.

Books:

I'm full.

Heroes:

Christopher Latham Sholes, inventor of the QWERTY keyboard layout. Thanks to him, spellign errors aer a tihng of the pasr.

My Blog

LUST

Competition can be an ugly thing. There's a new wrinkle in the whole "OMG this hot slutty girl in a bikini wants to be my MySpace friend" game.  In the good old days, you'd get a friend request f...
Posted by Candy Ass on Tue, 22 Apr 2008 06:00:00 PST

"I was going to vote for Obama until I heard those nasty things his pastor said."

Do you think there’s a soul in this country who’s *actually* had that thought cross their mind? God, I hope not.
Posted by Candy Ass on Tue, 18 Mar 2008 10:57:00 PST

Dear Diablo Cody...

You are not talented or interesting.  You have a funny pen name and a quasi-sordid past.  That does not make you a good writer.  "Juno" is overwritten neophyte drivel.  ...
Posted by Candy Ass on Sun, 24 Feb 2008 03:36:00 PST

Dear MSNBC:

PLEASE STOP USING THE TERM "BABY-DADDY".  YOU ARE KILLING THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.   I'll fucking destroy you.   ...
Posted by Candy Ass on Wed, 09 Jan 2008 08:13:00 PST

MSNBC has me presently tense.

Every time someone of note kicks the bucket, the headline on MSNBC reads "[PERSON OF NOTE] Dies". I understand that most headlines are written in the present tense, but this pisses me off.  ...
Posted by Candy Ass on Tue, 11 Sep 2007 07:56:00 PST

Re: Jon Secada - "Do You Believe In Us"

I've just discovered something disturbing that I feel everyone should be made aware of. The first twenty-odd seconds of Jon Secada's 1992 hit "Do You Believe In Us" is fucking undiluted awesomene...
Posted by Candy Ass on Fri, 31 Aug 2007 09:07:00 PST

Top X

Yeah, so I was wondering what cool freakish third-party MySpace layout people were using that allowed them to have more than 8 in their "Top" list.  Little did I realize that it's been built into...
Posted by Candy Ass on Tue, 29 May 2007 04:13:00 PST