My name is Spyder, The Chihuahua. I run HM Concerts & Management in Cleveland, Ohio. While the President of the company Neil Sheehan thinks he runs the company, he really doesn't. It's a front since nobody would believe a dog of my stature could really accomplish all the things I have done. My staff are pretty lazy. Most of the time they are on MySpace, watching our flat screen TV, drinking Vitamin Water, picking me up, or throwing a football around the office. The laziest of all workers is Josh, my Business Manager. He likes to put me on the postage meter to weigh me and I try to tell that fool to put me down before I pick off his fingers one by one w/ my teeth. One good thing about Josh is he sits next to the heater and when I get a bit tired I have to take one of my hourly CEO naps. So I crash by his desk, little does he know I'm really keep an eye on that fool. Coming in really close to second laziest would be Terry. What a joke this employee is....I have to consistently remind him to keep more food OUTSIDE of the trash can, bottle caps need to go on the FLOOR so I can chew them. I'm seriously thinking of having a preformance review w/ this guy. Terry's Assistant Laura is such a pain in my little black booty. She picks me up CONSTANTLY and, while I love the ladies (hell everyone knows my reputation as a player in the chihuahua community), she just is too aggressive. I know I'm hung like a Great Dane, but damn girl, back off a bit. Wow, I could go on and on through the staff; Pat, Zach, Steven, Matt, Tracy, Q, Brian, Ashley, Dan, Tony and Tony, Johnny K, etc. but why bore you w/ my lazy staff. Let's talk a bit more about me! I love to go for runs around my office, if one of my employees get out of line I make them get up and chase me around the couches. This teaches them a lesson: "You will NEVER catch up to me, SPYDER, the boss!" I think they get the message because when they are done chasing me they typically go back to work and I get to get a drink and take a nap. AHHHH the power of being the boss. Ok, enough of that. I also like going to the bathroom wherever and whenever I please. These knuckleheads put these pads down all over the place, what a joke. Why the hell would I take a dump on a white piece of paper thats clean? I may need that to sleep on later! Gosh, so I just squeeze when I need to on the dirty carpet. At night after a long day at work I go to my condo. Its a pretty nice condo I must admit. Sometimes I have to lock myself away in my cage so my employees at home Neil and Courtney don't bug me. I have them so tricked, they pick me up and put me in my play pen and they can't get at me. Hahahaha, wow, I have them tricked. Sometimes a dog just needs alone time, you know. But most of the time I let them take me out of my play pen and they are allowed to play w/ me and I'll let them watch my TV and sit on my couch. Again, for some reason they put out those white pads and I just ignore them, humans are really dumb at times. Anyway, I have to jet, I see my ewok toy in the middle of my office and he looks like he needs a good humping to get his ass back in line... MYSPACELAYOUTSPY CODE START --
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