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Spyder

I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking

About Me

My name is Spyder, The Chihuahua. I run HM Concerts & Management in Cleveland, Ohio. While the President of the company Neil Sheehan thinks he runs the company, he really doesn't. It's a front since nobody would believe a dog of my stature could really accomplish all the things I have done. My staff are pretty lazy. Most of the time they are on MySpace, watching our flat screen TV, drinking Vitamin Water, picking me up, or throwing a football around the office. The laziest of all workers is Josh, my Business Manager. He likes to put me on the postage meter to weigh me and I try to tell that fool to put me down before I pick off his fingers one by one w/ my teeth. One good thing about Josh is he sits next to the heater and when I get a bit tired I have to take one of my hourly CEO naps. So I crash by his desk, little does he know I'm really keep an eye on that fool. Coming in really close to second laziest would be Terry. What a joke this employee is....I have to consistently remind him to keep more food OUTSIDE of the trash can, bottle caps need to go on the FLOOR so I can chew them. I'm seriously thinking of having a preformance review w/ this guy. Terry's Assistant Laura is such a pain in my little black booty. She picks me up CONSTANTLY and, while I love the ladies (hell everyone knows my reputation as a player in the chihuahua community), she just is too aggressive. I know I'm hung like a Great Dane, but damn girl, back off a bit. Wow, I could go on and on through the staff; Pat, Zach, Steven, Matt, Tracy, Q, Brian, Ashley, Dan, Tony and Tony, Johnny K, etc. but why bore you w/ my lazy staff. Let's talk a bit more about me! I love to go for runs around my office, if one of my employees get out of line I make them get up and chase me around the couches. This teaches them a lesson: "You will NEVER catch up to me, SPYDER, the boss!" I think they get the message because when they are done chasing me they typically go back to work and I get to get a drink and take a nap. AHHHH the power of being the boss. Ok, enough of that. I also like going to the bathroom wherever and whenever I please. These knuckleheads put these pads down all over the place, what a joke. Why the hell would I take a dump on a white piece of paper thats clean? I may need that to sleep on later! Gosh, so I just squeeze when I need to on the dirty carpet. At night after a long day at work I go to my condo. Its a pretty nice condo I must admit. Sometimes I have to lock myself away in my cage so my employees at home Neil and Courtney don't bug me. I have them so tricked, they pick me up and put me in my play pen and they can't get at me. Hahahaha, wow, I have them tricked. Sometimes a dog just needs alone time, you know. But most of the time I let them take me out of my play pen and they are allowed to play w/ me and I'll let them watch my TV and sit on my couch. Again, for some reason they put out those white pads and I just ignore them, humans are really dumb at times. Anyway, I have to jet, I see my ewok toy in the middle of my office and he looks like he needs a good humping to get his ass back in line... MYSPACELAYOUTSPY CODE START --
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My Interests

Josh's postage meter, Terry's boxes underneath his desk (especially the sides of them, I chew them up pretty good), Neil's ears and nose (dude, take a bath), Courtney's toes (girlfriend get a pedicure once in a while), Laura's perfume (thanks for making the ladies love my smell!)

I'd like to meet:

FEMALE CHIHUAHUAs! Can a puppy get a table dance? Damn, I'm sick of these toys (ehemmm, I mean I'd like toys and a female chihuahua together if you know what I mean..hahaha). Employees that actually work and stop picking me up, I gots work to do folks stop playing!

Music:

Vanilla Ice, 50 Cent, NWA, Dr Dre; anything Gangsta. You know I'm down.

Movies:

K-9 Cop, Lady and The Tramp, 101 Dalmations, Firehouse Dog, Old Yeller, etc

Television:

Man, someone has to get that fool Cesar Milan off the TV; he is KILLING US DOGS. Please someone listen to me on this. This guy is the antichrist!

Books:

Fool, does it look like I can read?

Heroes:

Oh man, there are so many. But my step brother Chiko would be my biggest hero. He was kidnapped in September of 2006 and I'm sure wants to come home everyday. He is a strong one and I'm sure is making the best of his life after being stolen.

My Blog

Ok, I'm finally on MySpace...chill out humans

Yes, I'm on MySpace. Leave me a message, comment my pics, hook me up w/ some hot chicks, whatever you can do for me.Also, pretty soon I will be posting my weekly thoughts and feelings to help you hum...
Posted by Spyder on Tue, 27 Mar 2007 09:47:00 PST