Grant profile picture

Grant

You can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit.

About Me

I flick my own snot right into my hot tea.

My Interests

shadenfreude, absurdity, tastelessness, tackiness, trashiness . . . the finer things in life.

I'd like to meet:

Eoplepay whoay peaksay igpay atinlay.

Music:

Joanna Newsom, Antony and the Johnsons, Peaches, Neil Young, Beck, The Velvet Underground, Coltrane, The Beach Boys, Jimmy Cliff, Rufus Wainwright, The Magnetic Fields, Violent Femmes, Lou Reed, Bob Marley, The Postal Service, Yo La Tengo, Lou Reed, Cypress Hill, Buena Vista Social Club, Dr. John, Louis Armstrong, Missy Elliiot, The Fugees, Nina Simone, Erykah Badu, The Roots, Wilco, Weezer, Miles Davis, Ella Fitzgerald, Van Morrison, Billy Holiday, Loretta Lynn, Prince, Ben Folds [Five], Belle and Sebastian, Jamiroquai, Al Green, The Mamas and the Papas, The Streets, D'Angelo, Dave Matthews, Basement Jaxx, Outkast, Belle and Sebastian, Blur, The Beta Band, Boy George, George Michael, Michael Jackson, Justin Timberlake, Keane, Pet Shop Boys, Lauren Hill, Johnny Cash, John Waters Christmas CD.

Movies:

documentaries, Freeway, Don't Tell Mom the Babysitters Dead, Spaceballs, Seven, Silence of the Lambs, Hanibal, Red Dragon, Kill Bill I, Kill Bill II, Donnie Darko, Y Tu Mama Tambien, Bad Education, Polyester, Hairspray, Female Trouble, Pecker, Serial Mom, The People v Larry Flynt, Fried Green Tomatoes, Best in Show, This is Spinal Tap, Walk the Line, Beautiful Thing, Brokeback Moutain, Transamerica, GhostWorld, Happiness, Storytelling.

Television:

Forensic Files, Court TV, documentaries, Strangers With Candy, Chappelle's Show, South Park, Space Ghost. I mostly use television as background noise.
Click to make your own map!

Books:

Non-Fiction, Self-Help, Drug Reference, Kafka, Augusten Burroughs, Kurt Vonnegut, Richard Brautigan, Crackpot, Art: A Sex Book, Dirty Found, Shock Value, magazines . . . lots of magazines.

Heroes:

The person that did not let Oprah into the store after closing; the person at Target who enforced their rule about solicitation on their sidewalks, including the Salvation Army's bell ringers.

My Blog

I touched a girl. . .

about 4 seconds before this photo, and her name is PEACHES!...
Posted by Grant on Thu, 30 Nov 2006 08:41:00 PST

My Puss!

Posted By:Margaret ChoGet this video and more at MySpace.com...
Posted by Grant on Tue, 28 Nov 2006 06:11:00 PST

A representative sample of 51% of Virginia voters.

.. width="425" height="350">..>Lovely....
Posted by Grant on Wed, 08 Nov 2006 09:06:00 PST

You can't text message breakup!

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Posted by Grant on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 04:39:00 PST

Screaming Penis.

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Posted by Grant on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 05:17:00 PST

I saw Kelly . . .

. . . tonight at the Upright Citizens Brigade!That's right, betch!YAY!.. width="425" height="350">..>...
Posted by Grant on Fri, 29 Sep 2006 12:04:00 PST

redemption for Fox News

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Posted by Grant on Thu, 15 Jun 2006 05:32:00 PST

Debbie Downer

So . . . I've decided that the dentists are lying to me.I don't have the TMJ, and I don't have an abcess. Surely the pain from either of those could be managed by enough ibuprofen, Lortab, and Valium...
Posted by Grant on Sat, 27 May 2006 12:47:00 PST

I had to use BOTH hands . . .

. . . to carry my bills downstairs to pay them.This is my reward for working hard.. . . or at least for spending hard, a long, long time ago.
Posted by Grant on Wed, 12 Apr 2006 05:02:00 PST

To whoever called CVS and complained . . .

on me for having my salary listed on here, go fuck yourself.
Posted by Grant on Tue, 21 Mar 2006 12:25:00 PST