Glenn profile picture

Glenn

You're soaking in it

About Me

1. I'm really really nice. 2. I started performing stand-up comedy to overcome my shyness, and ended up getting bookings, winning contests, and gathering good reviews (including five write-ups in Backstage). 3. I don't know how to cook. 4. I really can use a massage right now. 5. I have over 10,000 CD's, plus thousands of records (LP's and 45's). 6. I miss NYC. 7. I can touch my nose with my tongue. 8. I like going to karaoke with friends. 9. I don't have any pets. 10. I'm allergic to soy. 11.I edited my profile at Freeweblayouts.net , check out these Myspace Layouts!

My Interests

music, travelling, taking photos, ice cream, tanning, writing, reading, movies, walking around, gym, good-looking guys, chocolate chip cookies

I'd like to meet:

friends (including the people I've claimed as my friends on my MySpace profile), future husbands, porn stars, good-looking liberals, people who live in L.A. but aren't flaky (ha! like they exist!), deceased rock stars, godless sodomites, homo-loving comediennes, and Beck

Music:

The Beatles * Amy Winehouse * Prince * Arcade Fire * Michael Jackson * The White Stripes * Bob Dylan * Jay-Z * Madonna * Franz Ferdinand * Elvis Presley * Kanye West * Stevie Wonder * the Streets * Rufus Wainwright * Beck * The Rolling Stones * Arctic Monkeys * R.E.M. * Lily Allen * Aretha Franklin * LCD Soundsystem * Morrissey * the Strokes * Diana Ross * Scissor Sisters * Bruce Springsteen * M.I.A. * Phil Spector * Green Day * Pet Shop Boys * Bright Eyes * Marvin Gaye * Missy Elliott * Donna Summer * Eminem * U2 * OutKast * Paul Simon * Interpol * The Replacements * Death Cab For Cutie * Johnny Cash * Gnarls Barkley * Eurythmics * Neil Young * Janet Jackson * The Neptunes * Bee Gees * Bjork * David Bowie * The Rapture * Fleetwood Mac * The Clash * James Brown * Holland-Dowier-Holland * Talking Heads * Sinead O'Connor * The Temptations * Ray Charles * Abba * Blondie * Radiohead * Chaka Khan * Liz Phair * Nirvana * Pretenders * Elvis Costello * Carole King * The Beach Boys * Beastie Boys * Smokey Robinson * Sam Cooke * Boy George * Creedence Clearwater Revival * Gladys Knight and the Pips * The Kinks * Al Green * Sly and the Family Stone * Mary J. Blige * Joan Jett * Elton John * Pearl Jam * Moby * Joni Mitchell * Lucinda Williams * Patti Smith * Lauryn Hill * Lou Reed * George Michael * The Ramones * Rod Stewart * Otis Redding * John Mellencamp * "Weird Al" Yankovic * Pointer Sisters * Isley Brothers * Wilco * P.J. Harvey * Queen * Ashford & Simpson * Olivia Newton-John * Cyndi Lauper * Spinners * Kate Bush * Whitney Houston * Erasure * The B-52's * Ike and Tina Turner * Gamble and Huff * Public Enemy * Dusty Springfield * Eagles * Four Seasons * Oasis

Movies:

West Side Story * Annie Hall * Psycho * The Godfather * North By Northwest * Jaws * One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest * Aladdin * E.T. the Extraterrestrial * Mary Poppins * Tootsie * Blazing Saddles * The Graduate * Young Frankenstein * Airplane * The Naked Gun * The War of the Roses * Ruthless People * Splash * Misery * Edward Scissorhands * Chinatown * Mulholland Dr. * George of the Jungle * Hannah and Her Sisters * L.A. Confidential * Four Weddings and a Funeral * Babe * Being There * South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut * In & Out * What's Up Doc? * Pleasantville * Fargo * Private Benjamin * Zoolander * Hair * Love and Death * Sleeper * Memento * High Fidelity * Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex...But Were Afraid to Ask * Mommie Dearest * Bowling for Columbine * Quiz Show * Crimes and Misdemeanors * Best in Show * Defending Your Life * Election * Flirting With Disaster * Bullets Over Broadway * The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert * Showgirls * The Man With Two Brains * Ed Wood * This is Spinal Tap * Monty Python and the Holy Grail * Waiting For Guffman * Happiness * Monty Python's Life of Brian * Bananas * Can't Stop the Music * The Rutles: All You Need is Cash

Television:

Footballer's Wives * The Office (BBC and US versions) * Desperate Housewives * Strangers With Candy * The Daily Show * Extras * Curb Your Enthusiasm * Fawlty Towers * Monty Python's Flying Circus * Absolutely Fabulous * Da Ali G Show * Dame Edna's Neighborhood Watch * The Larry Sanders Show * It's Garry Shandling's Show * Mystery Science Theater 3000 * Sex and the City * The Simpsons (Seasons One thru Five) * Six Feet Under (the first two seasons), All in the Family * The Mary Tyler Moore Show

Books:

All the David Sedaris books, Running With Scissors, Not The Bible, Love Junkie, Tales of the City, Letters from a Nut, Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot, Middlesex, You Send Me: The Life & Times of Sam Cooke, High Fidelity, Do the Windows Open?, Pastoralia, The Confederacy of Dunces (Kathy still has my copy of it)

Heroes:

Janeane Garofalo * Martin Luther King, Jr. * Chris Rock * Judge Judy * Michael Moore * Eddie Izzard * Kurt Cobain * Apollonia * Jean

My Blog

Better Than Diggin A Ditch, Part II

Lily Allen's second album is scheduled for release next February.  I don't know if it will contain her homage to George W. Bush, "Fuck You Very Much."   Wake Up America!     ...
Posted by Glenn on Mon, 06 Oct 2008 08:03:00 PST

Better Than Diggin A Ditch

"I like penis."..:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O /> - Clay Aiken.  I'm paraphrasing.   "I like vageegee." - Lindsay Lohan.  I'm paraphrasing.   "I like Glenn's manly bits." - Jonathan Rhys...
Posted by Glenn on Mon, 06 Oct 2008 07:54:00 PST

So Many Pigs, So Little Lipstick

"And now to the most important part of the night." - Lily Allen co-hosting the GQ Awards with Elton John   "What? Are you going to have another drink?" - Elton John   "Fuck off Elton. I am...
Posted by Glenn on Mon, 15 Sep 2008 07:39:00 PST

Bitching and Moaning and a New Olive Garden

"Alaska is right next to Russia." - Fox "newscaster" Steve Doocy on the foreign experience Sarah Palin will bring to the Vice President role   "Remember, Alaska is the closet part of our contin...
Posted by Glenn on Tue, 02 Sep 2008 03:34:00 PST

I Got Got Got Got No Time

"I've mellowed, but not in the sense of liking Radiohead or Coldplay. I don't hate them. I don't wish they had accidents. I think their fans are boring and ugly and they don't look like they're having...
Posted by Glenn on Mon, 18 Aug 2008 05:27:00 PST

Contraception is abortion?

Copied and pasted from MoveOn.org: Hi, I had to share something with you. Can you imagine living in a place where birth control is considered an "abortion" and health insurers won't cover it? Where ev...
Posted by Glenn on Fri, 15 Aug 2008 09:44:00 PST

Bush Tours America To Survey The Damage Caused By...

I don't think this posted properly in my previous blog: ..Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency...
Posted by Glenn on Mon, 11 Aug 2008 06:27:00 PST

SLEEPLESS IN WEHO

"I went platinum in 16 different countries. Africa? Double platinum. Ireland? Double platinum. New Zealand? Triple platinum. London? Platinum. London is the hardest place to go platinum." - Timbaland ...
Posted by Glenn on Mon, 11 Aug 2008 06:05:00 PST

First, You Put Your &*$ in a Box

"I'd love to do a younger, cleaner version of Sex and the City." - Miley Cyrus   "Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeate...
Posted by Glenn on Mon, 21 Jul 2008 08:14:00 PST

Its A Wonderful Death

"What I grew up with was, if you even think about boobs, you're going to hell.  It was drilled in they're wrong. But let's face it, they're fantastic." - Chris Martin of Coldplay   "The thi...
Posted by Glenn on Mon, 14 Jul 2008 04:37:00 PST