Kurt Shmert profile picture

Kurt Shmert

I Got my Griftin' Shoes On. How 'Bout You, Mamma?

About Me


TODAY'S EPISODE WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTERS "R" AND "C", AND THE NUMBER "PROZAC".
Some people live in igloos and have snowball fights all day long.
They're called Eskimos.
I'm from Metro Detroit.
So I'm not an Eskimo.
I'm a musician.
I have a myspace music page, too.
Well no, not exactly.
Chinatown is a special place.
MTV ate my baby.
I'm educated.
(even if i don't have the paperwork to prove it.)
"Flesh"
"Paperclips"
I love to write.
I hate to spell.
I can't math.
I'm a hopeless romantic.
(I'm being dramatic)
I love to climb things.
I'm not an elected offical.
I break my own rules.
"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer."
My name isnt Abby.
So quit sending me letters.
I dont care about your problems, "Tim from Tallahassee."
I used to be 7.
Shimmy shimmy cocoa pop.
Shimmy shimmy rock.
I'm three apples high, and live in a toadstool.
I like to spoon.
I like to fork.
I like to rock.
Paper, Scissors.
(Proverbial)
I'm open to suggestions.
My cousin coaches the Chinese Olympic Rodeo Team.
I miss Today's Special.
Junior College is for Lovers.
I'm a certified myomassologist.
Which is a fancy word for "massage therapist".
I'm cerified in perimiter security and primitive survival.
I love martial arts.
I love Tracker School.
I love beats, bang-bangs, and robots fornicating.
Stage Presence.
You should listen to "the projects."
Or "Like a Brad Outta'Hell!"
If they ever get made...
Myspace Layouts - Myspace Editor

My Interests

The Manic Project.
The Nexus Project.
The Benjamin Doll Factory.
The Public Adoption of P.A.M.
Cultural Vandalism.
Writing.
Playing music.
Listening to music.
All kinds of music.
Electrambiant noise.
Ecclectronopop.
Tunes to tattoo to.
Go Tell it Like it is.
Attic Rock.
Crooners, cronies, cavemen.
Painful honesty.
Martial Arts.
MANKIND Apparel.
Reading.
Studying.
Nature.
Simple things.
Making big-talk.
Art.
Fire.
Running water.
Inventing secret love affairs.
Complex fantasies.
Pinstripes with graffiti.
Futile Feuds.
Sharp thing.
Shiney things.
Nighttime.
Daytime.
Cooking.
Wine.
A really old pillow.
Gasp, sigh, snore.

"Having no way as the way. Having no limitation as your limitation."

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying." -Woody Allen

"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that." -Lloyd Dobbler (cheeze)

I'd like to meet:

Jesus, Innovators, Revolutionaries, Mole People, EA Poe, Bob Dylan, Jeff & Tim Buckley, Thom Yorke, Mitch Hedberg, The Comedians of Comedy, Sarah Silverman (in a german hotrod), Jay Adams, Shu Qi, Shannyn Sossamon, a human tornado, Tim Curry, Bruce Lee, Aquaman,and a weird naked indian guy.

Music:

THE POWERS:
Radiohead, The Go! Team, Hot Chip, Nirvana, Cibo Matto, Wilco, Art Brut, Supersystem, Futureheads, Led Zeppelin, International Noise Conspiracy, Television, Pretty Girls Make Graves, Elbow, The Verve, Devo, Chicks on Speed, Thunderbirds Are Now!, Arctic Monkeys, Neutral Milk Hotel, Arcade Fire, Diamond Nights, Cat Power, The Smiths, Social Distortion, The Pixies, Talking Heads, Stone Temple Pilots, Bloc Party, Seems So Bright, Blonde Redhead, Velvet Underground, Ayumi Hamasaki, Le Tigre, Louis XIV, Alice in Chains, Brazilian Girls, Sonic Youth, Tears For Fears, Of Montreal, The Refreshments, gorillaz, The Plugz, Smashing Pumpkins, Deerhoof, The Clash, Joan Jett, Fiery Furnaces, Ima Robot, Polysics, The Cure, Our Lady Peace, Iggy Pop, Spacehog, The Toadies, HIM, Cottonmouth Texas, Billy Idol, Lita Ford, Joan Wasser, Jane's Addiction, TV on the Radio, Reverend Horton Heat, The Kinks, Ween, METRIC, The Animals, The Shaggs, K's Choice, Black Crowes, Garbage, Whale, GnR, The Shins, The Doors, At the Drive-In, Dead Milkmen, PJ Harvey, Starsailor, Appleseed Cast, The Mosquitos, Beck, Minus the Bear, Portishead, Cheap Trick...
THE TOWERS:
Jeff Buckley, Bob Dylan, Thom Yorke, Johnny Cash, Ryan Adams, Sam Cooke, Nina Simone, David Bowie, Tim Buckley, Billie Holiday, Miles Davis, Van Morrison, Leonard Cohen, Tom Waitts, Morrissey, Frank Sinatra, Dusty Springfield, Roy Orbison, Elvis, Edith Pioff, Bjork, Ray Charles, Hank Williams, Dion, Ayumi Hamasaki, Frankie Vallie, Josh Rouse, Damien Rice, The Guess Who, Lou Reed, Nick Drake, Ella Fitzgerald, Merle Haggard, Stevie Wonder, Screamin' Jay Hawkins, Elliot Smith, Raul Midon, Jack Johnson, Bob Marley, Mose Allison, Sarah Vaughan, Joanna Newsome, Pete Yorn, Bill Whithers, Johnny Horton, Norah Jones, John Coltraine, Doris Day, Jem, Adrea Boccelli, Ben Harper, Teitur, Matthew Good, Ian Brown...
THE FEW:
Handsome Boy Modeling School, The Streets, Beastie Boys, Common, Digable Planets, Jurrassic 5, Biz Markie, Mos Def, KRS-1, Tribe Called Quest, Grandmaster Flash, Kurtis Blow, Arrested Development, Fannypack, Nuclear Family, DangerMouse, Gnarls, Cut Chemist, Heiruspecs, Run-DMC, Fugees, Cee-Lo, Citizen Cope, Sugarhill Gang, Eddie Murphy.

Movies:

Besides Godfather, or anything else with Marlon Brando? (I won't even bother listing all his works)
Um, Basquiat, Battle Royale!, The Baxter, Fight Club, Vanilla Sky, Dogtown and Z-Boys, The Man in Black (the documentary), Cool Hand Luke, Blood In Blood Out, Shaun of the Dead, A Few Good Men, Boondock Saints, Crybaby, Kuffs, Psycho, I Heart Huckabees, High Fidelity, Jesus's Son, The Jerk, Exorcist, The Departed, The Freshman, The Score, The Shining, Platoon, The Lost Boys, Blood Diamond, Garden State, Citizen Kane, Legends of the Fall, Last of the Mohicans, JFK, Escape From Alcatraz, Virgin Suicides, Say Anything..., Edward Scissorhands, Snatch, Kids, Gummo, Usual Suspects, The Outsiders, Stand By Me, Gossip, Deerhunter, A Clockwork Orange, Elephant, Lean On Me, The Manhattan Project, The Jerk, Rocky I-V, Karate Kid I-III, TMNT I-II, Momento, Walk the Line, Mean Streets, Carlito's Way, Waiting for Guffman, The 3 Amigos, This Is Spinal Tap, The Wanderers, The Doors, American Psycho, The Basketball Diaries, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Power of One, Repo Man, Heathers, National Treasure, A Bronx Tail, Hi-Lo Country, Lords of Dogtown, Suburbia (both 80's punk and Richard Linklater 90's editions), Dazed & Confused, Haggard, April Fool's Day, Hook, Goonies, 40 Yr Old Virgin, Trainspotting, Grind, Eurotrip, Stigmata, Lords of Flatbush, Wedding Crashers, Mac & Me, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, Psycho, just to name a few.

Television:

The EPL and Seria A, IFC, Bravo, AMC, A&E, History, Discovery, TLC, Spike, FX, FMC, Comedy Central, Public Access, FoxSoccer (Office, Always Sunny, Reno911, SNL, Skate events, live music, crime and cults and disaster and the human bizarre).

Books:

are only as great as their writers. I like the Bible and any ancient texts, Edgar Allen Poe, Lord Byron, William Blake, Chuck Palahniuk, Baudelaire, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Bret Easton Ellis, Graham Greene, Kurt Vonnegut, Tim LaHaye, Aldous Huxley, Ginsberg, Hemingway, Noam Chomsky, Lao Tsu, Sun Tsu, Ryu Murakami, Thomas Jefferson, Alex Garland, Hunter S. Thompson, Niccolo Macchiavelli, Jim Carrol, Jim Marrs, Jim Morrison...and on and on in no particular order...

Heroes:

Um, these guys, for starters...

My Blog

Reflections on Sex in the Modern World (2005-2006)

Snuff Life Pornographic murder scene.White.White.White and blood-fucking-red. Absent, therein,of violent brain disease. There's a mealplate,blended horrors,and the crowd is touching themselves. The P...
Posted by Kurt Shmert... on Fri, 08 Dec 2006 07:11:00 PST

Nibbles and Bits (year old)

  "The shortest notes hold the longest messages."   Casual Conversation A copywrited footraceto the tune of simple stares.Victory prizeof family tiessputtered out like prayers.    ...
Posted by Kurt Shmert... on Fri, 08 Dec 2006 06:57:00 PST

I'm Writing Again...sort of...(New Shit, Winter '06)

  The Beast A great composer, whom hath regret,must breach, through strings, his yearning.And saintly priests, who know what's best,still sing and preach their sermons.So growing men, in grueling...
Posted by Kurt Shmert... on Fri, 08 Dec 2006 06:41:00 PST

Insights Into New York Living (2005-2006)

Mr. Drug We're living in a time and placewhere not drugging someoneis a commendable virtue. Don't give up on me, Mr. Drug.Don't drop out on me now.Don't give up on me, Mr. Drug.Don't fall from the pi...
Posted by Kurt Shmert... on Fri, 08 Dec 2006 07:29:00 PST