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My interests are doing things with Jesus, always interested in what Jesus has to tell me, prophetic evangelism, prophecy, words of wisdom, words of knowledge, miracles, signs and wonders, faith, the bible, heaven and worshiping God. I also love hanging out with people who hear God's voice too and love Him passionately. -----------
mostly christian rock, also soaking and worship music.
The Green Mile, The End of the Spear, Passion of the Christ, One Night with the King, The Matrix movies, X-Men series, Lord of the Ring trilogy, Die Hard movies, all the Star Wars movies, also good action movies and romantic comedies.
I don't normally watch much television anymore. but every once in awhile. my favorite show would probably be, "Who's Line is it Anyhow?" That show really cracks me up? i like stand up comedy. otherwise i watch movies...
of course the bible! And fiction writers- Bill Myers, Frank Peretti, Ted Dekker,
Jesus is my only true hero!! but i admire Smith Wigglesworth, William Branham, Derek Prince, Joyce Meyer, Bob Jones,(the prophet),Todd Bentley, one of my angels Leana, who was once one of Smith Wigglesworth's angels, anyone who wants all God has for them and then is willing to seek it out and to do the will of God without compromise. It is my greatest passion and so much fun too!-------------------
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So many people have asked for my testimony i have finally typed up a short version for anyone who wants to read. i am excited i get to go get involved with Todd Bentley and Freshfire Ministries (see their own profiles) and i had to write up my testimony for that so here it is for anyone to read now..........I was born in 1961 in Minneapolis, Minnesota in the United States of America. There was nothing unusual then, nothing that would point me in the direction that God had this wonderful plan for my life now. As a matter of fact, depending on how you look at it, it might seem just the opposite.
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My life was what is known as dysfunctional in America. (This means normal to most people now-a-days.) My parents divorced when I was four, and that is actually my first memory, the day my father left. I didn't see much of him my whole life and never really got to know him at all.
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My mother was raised by proper parents, and my grandfather was a Shriner-Mason. We didn't go to church much. I remember some now and then and neighborhood vacation bible schools. And a Friday night chapel up the street where I think I first asked Jesus into my heart. I don't remember praying or anything but I do remember eating cookies and drinking Kool-aid there. And I think I might have asked then, at least Jesus says I did. I was 8 years old. Jesus also says that one time when I was four, I asked Jesus to be with me forever. I just don't remember that one yet.
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I had the regular dysfunctional things happen to me, which are sadly considered normal these days. I had a mean step-father who abused us, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I was sexually abused as a child by two family members. I grew to hate happy family stories. I truly believed they were not real and I remember specifically one day deciding that no one would rescue me from the horrible things I was going through and I was going to have to rely only on myself. I was nine. Our family moved from the city of Minneapolis to a small town in Minnesota when I about 11.
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My mother finally divorced my stepfather when I was a teenager and that started my mother into her "partying phase" and my brother and I joined her. So, I did a lot of drinking, smoking and doing any and all drugs I could find. I actually developed into a hard, tough, reasonable girl that partied a lot.
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When I was 15 or 16, a friend stole a car and shot himself while being chased by the police. He died. When I was 19, another good friend took his own life. He shot himself in the head also. These were the only two people I knew personally that died. For the first time I remember wondering what happens to people after they die.
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About this time I started having trouble sleeping. I kept waking up during the night, thinking something was on fire. My mother, also about this time, had received Jesus and she had given me this book, "How to Be Born Again" by Billy Graham. (I had never heard of 'born again' before.) I know I just threw the book in my closet, so how I happened to have it one of those nights that I couldn't sleep, I am not sure. All I know is that I somehow did and I started to read it. Once I started reading, I couldn't stop. Here I was, this sensible, practical, tough girl, sobbing as every word of this book went directly into my very soul. I didn't stop reading until I got to the very end- the part where you pray this prayer and ask Jesus to come into my heart and rule my life. Well, I debated with myself for 1-2 hours about this. I finally decided that, either 1, this was the most emotionally manipulative book I had ever read, or 2, it was real. And I reasoned that if it was real, then I really wanted this, more than that, I needed it. And if it wasn't real, then nothing would happen when I prayed and no one would know I was this foolish girl who could still be manipulated by someone's words. So I prayed.
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I expected lightning bolts or something but that is not what happened. I did go to sleep and slept without waking up that night, or any of the following nights. It would be almost 20 years before I had restless sleep again.
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I woke up the next day and I knew something was different, I was different. I started reading my bible like Billy Graham's book said to do every evening and I could understand it. Also, I would ask questions of Jesus during the day and that evening they were answered in the bible reading. It was amazing to me. I tried to go the church my mom went to. That didn't work well. I wasn't really accepted and people wouldn't even talk with me. I could have tried to become a clone of them and then I would have been accepted but, I was not going to do that. I didn't like their ideas of how everyone had to be the same.
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I had Jesus. I knew that without a doubt. He had made himself real to me and no human could unconvince me of that. He was personal with me. And my whole way of looking at life and the world had changed. My whole thinking process was different. But the church didn't seem to like me so I slowly slipped back into my partying BUT I also believed in Jesus. I just didn't believe in church.
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A couple of years later I did get to be friends with a christian guy from this church though. We went together for about 5 years. I went to a bible college during this time and on several short-term mission trips. I got into studying the bible and this man showed me love from God as he put up with me and helped me go through a lot.
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But again, the church was not happy. They thought I was only going to church to please this guy, even though I had tried to go the church years before on my own. I also started having supernatural experiences happen to me and they didn't believe in that stuff. They thought I was making up seeing and smelling demons and hearing angels fight. And once, when a battle was on, I started praying words, in English, that weren't my own. The words came out of my mouth and gave the angel's power to battle the demons around me. I saw them too, in the natural and in the spirit. The church thought I was making it up which was really so unlike me. I was told I had probably imagined it or exaggerated it.
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When my friend left to go to Alaska to be a missionary bush pilot, it was pretty apparent I wasn't wanted at the church. So I went back to partying and my party friends, (I guess I never really gave them up though. I still partied some during the time I dated this guy.) And again, many times I would share with my party friends about God. But I didn't give up Jesus, just the church. And over the next 12 years, I would get close to God and fall away many times.
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In my late 30's, I got even deeper into drugs- my main being crystal-meth. I also started being a friend to the guys in this local rock band. And I had a fling with a married man. Something I swore I would never do. My motto had always been that "guys with wives and guys with girlfriends were off-limits." That blatant sin started a shift in my spirit. I became obsessed with this man, wanting him so much I got back into astrology (something God had directly told me not to do years before.) and I got into other occult things and even made up my own, all trying to find out how my relationship with this man would go.
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I unknowingly opened up a gate into the spirit realm- only it was not God's realm. I started hearing voices, and at first I believed they were from this man, that we had some spiritual bond. What a joke on me. Then other voices, many voices came, and soon I was infested. At first they seemed to be friendly even, pretending to be other people with the same supposed "supernatural" ability as I did they said.
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Then the tortures and tormenting began. Many things happened; I won't go into them here. I saw in the spirit but not into the realm of God's heaven, but the devil's realm. They put me in their schools and in their pits. I ended up in the psych ward of the local hospital. But one good thing happened- one night, in my basement, I finally called out to Jesus to come back. I wasn't sure if He would after all, I had blatantly turned from Him.
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I had figured out that these 'voices' were, in fact demonic. So many things happened but I will just talk on one night, the 'Big Battle' for me. The enemy voices had put fear on me, telling me that they were taking me that night. I had prayed and heard Jesus telling me He was taking over, but there were so many voices at this time I didn't know for sure that it was Him. All night long I prayed and read my bible, even ripping pages out of my bible and putting them in my bra in case they took me. (Also just for your information I had thrown away all my drugs over a month before that and had not touched any since. So this was not some withdrawal or something.)
I heard the biggest battle that night going on all around me. Devils and demons were everywhere around me torturing me and being fought off as I read the bible all night.
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The tide turned that night. Jesus started talking to me. I didn't know for sure if it was Him though at first. I had been lied to so many times by the other voices some claiming to be Him.
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My mom put me in an institution (for a week) where I was checked out. After being released I went back to that church that had rejected me, looking for help. There was a new pastor there now. I waited outside the door on a Wednesday night remembering that something used to always be going on Wednesday night. Sure enough, the new pastor showed up after an hour or so and told me there was a prayer meeting. I asked to join in, he said ok.
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Now this is actually funny as I look back on it, but not at the time though. A small group gathered around a round table. I was seated next to the pastor. The people there consisted of mostly older-elderly people ready to pray as they always had. As soon as the first prayer started, a demon manifested in me. (This was new to me and I had never had this happen before.) I was growling, drooling, and banging my head on the table. All I could see around me was these people's first reaction of surprise. (Their first demon manifestation I am sure.) Then they all grabbed their bibles and started flipping through the pages looking up all the passages where Jesus cast out demons and asking each other if they know of anyone who had been fasting. (I can laugh at it now.) They prayed for me and cast out this demon for about 2 hours. When the demon came out, his last sound was a high musical note, I thought that was odd. But what was amazing was the peace that then flooded into me, along with the assuredness that I was still redeemed. The demon had kept me from the belief of that understanding. I felt wonderful. And though the demon voices were still there and Jesus' too, I was once again completely sure that I was saved.
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You probably don't know what that is like, thinking you may have lost your salvation. The fear, the doubt, the anger at yourself, the unbelievable pain and sadness, - all this lifted! I was the happiest girl in the world. Love came flooding back in me. I was still loved by Jesus. I was still allowed. The people at the church there brought me back up to the psych ward (just to make sure they figured.) But I didn't care. I was too happy!
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The next psych evaluation was completely opposite from the one just 2 weeks earlier. They even wrote that they had been wrong before in their former evaluation.
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The demonic voices and, yes, their actions (they hurt me) were still there though, and would be there for the next 4 years as I went to many people trying to be delivered from them. There is so much to tell in here, I even went to YWAM in Australia still being attacked.
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In the end only one was able to set me free. And that was Jesus himself. He took me deep into Himself and broke off demons, devils, curses, attachments, soul ties and evil things of all kinds. (I think I may hold some kind of record. But not anymore!) Many nights, most nights at first, Jesus and I would take things off, a lot at once sometimes. Other times, like the crystal-meth devil, one at a time. I begged God to take away all the voices and tormenting demonic things at once at the beginning of this time and God did. I was very happy to say the least. Then I asked Jesus for His very best plan for my life, no matter what I had to go through for it. And instantly I could hear and feel the demonic ones again. I know there is a good reason why Jesus delivered me this way.
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At first I didn't understand but now I have such an extremely close relationship with Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit that no one or nothing could stop and He is always next to me. I also now hear continually from God. I hear of many people who seek and pray for hours, days, weeks to hear a word from God. (I am not bragging as I did not do this, Jesus did. I got to admit though, I like it!) I hear clearly, almost all the time. Any question I have, I ask and He answers me.
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On small things like cooking at my job He tells me of good spices to use and how to cook things and on big things He tells me about Himself and what is happening in the world. I know it is truly Jesus for the things He tells me, happen. And I also hear from the known prophets the same things often that He tells me, after He tells me.
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I am in love. There is no other for me than Yeshua (Hebrew for Jesus). That is what happened as a result of my going through all this I believe.
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I also started shaking when I prayed and worshipped God during all this time. I didn't know what it was. I found out later that this is a manifestation of the Holy Spirit. But one pastor of a church I was going to in California told me I had demons around me (which I still did at that time) and tried to cast this out. But the Holy Spirit started talking through me to him and told him he was never casting Him out and also had this young pastor laughing so hard because he imitated him so perfectly. Unfortunately, this pastor decided that I must have some "party demon" who spoke to him and I must want my demon because it wouldn't leave. I had to leave that church.
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But I know the voice of the wonderful Holy Spirit now. Just at that time I didn't. And now I move in the Holy Spirit a lot, even dancing in the Spirit. He is such a kick!
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The baptism of the Holy Spirit was pretty much all Jesus' idea. He insisted on it. Ha! I had a lot of questions about this and as to why anyone would want or need to speak in tongues. The other gifts seemed reasonable to me, but not tongues. I had bought the VCR tape by Joyce Meyer on ":How To Be Baptized In The Holy Spirit" and in it I finally heard a good reason to have the gift of speaking in tongues- the devils do not know what you are saying or praying for. Well, considering my situations all the demonic voices I was hearing and seeing, tongues now seemed like a good gift to have!
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So I asked to have the baptism of the Holy Spirit and I wanted the evidence that I had it of speaking in tongues. And about a month later I was sitting in church (a new church -an Assembly of God denomination) and the baptism fell on me during worship time. (Just me of course, nobody else.) I started speaking in some kind of oriental sounding language and my body was shaking. I heard Jesus tell me that it was Taiwanese I was speaking. I did not know at that time that I would go to Taiwan within the next year. An other different language came upon me at home after that and I started singing in it. (I had never heard of singing in the Spirit before. I just thought it was cool.)
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That was the beginning of my love for the Holy Spirit. Since then I have gotten to know Him much better too. I hear Him also with Jesus and the Father. I have been brought into His very presence in prophecy and fellowship. Amazing stuff! And yes, I speak in tongues very often!
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The demonic voices have been completely gone for over a year now. The only voice besides my own is God's. And I hear a lot. I have learned how to use the gift of prophecy. He has been with me on it always. Also, I am learning to use the gift and anointing in healing and ministering a lot of other ways.
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I was told by Jesus a year and a half ago to quit my job and be with Him and seek Him out which I did for four months. During that time I had amazing encounters with God and angels. Demons were cut down from there strongholds and Jesus was teaching me to lean on Him with complete trust. Then I was told to leave the place there and work at this assisted living house in Flagstaff, AZ. I was told to be ready to give one year to help this place which I have finished!
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The next level of development will be with a group in Canada called FreshFire Ministries. Todd Bentley is the Holy Spirit man called by God as a revivalist and evangelist with a special gift in healing. I have been accepted as intern there. I start in the spring. Until that time, God told me to go up to Washington to prepare for that internship. That is where i am now. Exciting stuff happening here!!!