Jesus Christ profile picture

Jesus Christ

If character only shows through when no one else is looking, then you're all wankers. All of you.

About Me

On the one hand, my lineage is laid out at the beginning of the New Testament. On the other hand, I am the product of a virgin birth, which would cancel out the lineage part altogether.
Let's just say my followers are into that thing called double-speak.
I AM Jewish.
I AM a hippie at heart.
I heal the sick.
I make the blind see.
I make the dead walk.
I know how to party, I know how to get down.

I don't care what you say, drinking PBR is not my way of exhibiting irony. It is my way of getting drunk.
And it's cheap.

I challenge all other MySpace Jesuses to a dance-off. I'll rock that shit.

My Interests

I'm big on making promises, and really bad about not following through with the promised goods.

I'd like to meet:

Come unto, but not on, me.

I AM also known as: Adam, the Last, Advocate,All & in All,Almighty,Altogether Lovely One,Amen,Anchor,Ancient of Days,Angel of the Lord,His Anointed,Apostle,Arm of the Lord,Alpha & Omega,Author,Balm of Gilead,Beginning,Begotten,Beloved,Bishop of your souls,Blessed and only Potentate,Branch,Bread,Bridegroom,Bright & Morning Star, see Star,Brightness of His (God's) glory,Captain of their salvation,Carpenter's son,Chiefest among ten thousand,Child,Chosen of God,Christ,Comforter,Commander,Consolation of Israel,Corn of Wheat,Cornerstone,Counsellor,Covert,Creator of all things,Daysman,Dayspring from on high,Day Star Bright & Morning Star,Deliverer,Desire of all nations,Door,Emmanuel,End, see Beginning & the EndExpress image of His (God's) person,Faithful Witness,Faithful & True,Father of Eternity,Fellow of God,First & the Last,First begotten of the dead,Firstborn Firstfruits,Foundation,Fountain,Forerunner,Friend of sinners,Fulness of the Godhead,Gift of God,Glory of God, God,Good Master,Governor,Great High Priest,Guide,Head,Heir of all things,Helper,Hiding Place,High Priest,Holy Child,Holy One,Hope of Israel,Horn of salvation,I AM,Image of [the invisible] God,Intercessor,Jehovah,Jesus,Judge,Just One,King,Kinsman,Lamb,Last, see First,Lawgiver,Life, Light,Lion of the tribe of Judah,Lord,Man,Master,Mediator,Merciful High Priest,Mercy Seat,Messiah,Mighty God,Minister of the Sanctuary,Nazarene,Nobleman,Offering,Offspring of David, Ointment poured forth,Omega,One and Only Son,Passover,Peace, our,Physician,Plant of Renown,Potentate, Blessed and only, see Blessed Prince Saviour,Prophet,Propitiation,Power of God,Priest,Quickening,Rabbi,Ransom,Redeemer, Redemption,Refuge,Resurrection & the Life,Righteousness, Rock, Rod, Root, Rose of Sharon, Sacrifice, Same, the, Sanctification, Saviour, Second Man, Seed of Abraham, Seed Servant, Shadow of a great Rock, Shepherd, Shiloh, Son , Sower, Star, Stone, Sun of Righteousness, Surety, Teacher, Tender Plant, Testator, True Bread, see Bread, Truth , Vine , Way, Wisdom, Wonderful, Word," /

Music:

Gospel.

Movies:

I would prefer Last Temptation of Christ over The Passion of the Christ.
Really though, it was 2000 years ago. I've grown a lot since then, and feel like it's time to move on.

Television:

I truly enjoyed HBO's Rome. The sets, the costumes, the actors and actresses. It was superb. The Shield. The Office.Oh, and Man vs. Wild! Watching that crazy Brit bite the head off of frogs... nasty!

Books:

I'm sure most people will think I'm going to say the Bible, but after the Nicean Creed of 300 a.d. that book's been pretty worthless.The Bible was created by man, and written by man. Some passages are great. Others, not so much. Lamentations, depressing. Numbers, well numbers always were a bore. Song of Soloman, hot.
Enjoy the Bible as you would a cafeteria style buffet. Take what you like, leave what you don't. But remember, cafeteria food altogether sucks 95% of the time. Unless that is, you're a retiree and get a senior citizen's discount.

Heroes:

Edward Munch. Now that's a man that can comment on fear without inciting it.

My Blog

Not Tasty With Ketchup

Some crazy lady saw me in a goddamned french fry....
Posted by Jesus Christ on Mon, 16 Jun 2008 12:28:00 PST

Rent movies youve already bought for your iPod? Fuck that. Rip them.

I can't quite understand why people are expected to rent a movie they already OWN instead of being able to upload in into their iPods. And the rentals available? The iTunes selections for movie rent...
Posted by Jesus Christ on Fri, 25 Jan 2008 06:08:00 PST

Consider me part of the angry masses of the body politic

...
Posted by Jesus Christ on Fri, 25 Jan 2008 05:35:00 PST

Warning: Substantive Reading Ahead.

"You Don't Understand Our Audience"What I learned about network television at Dateline NBC.By John HockenberryThe most memorable reporting I've encountered on the conflict in Iraq was delivered in the...
Posted by Jesus Christ on Wed, 02 Jan 2008 10:39:00 PST

IM IN UR MANGER KILLING UR SAVIOR

...
Posted by Jesus Christ on Sat, 22 Dec 2007 09:18:00 PST

Test Your Knowledge, Earthlings

So, it's your planet. Yep, you live there. Show me what ya got. .. In consideration of our efforts in developing and hosting this application, we ask that you do not remove the ...
Posted by Jesus Christ on Tue, 11 Dec 2007 07:53:00 PST

Actually, I didnt come first.

Sometimes, you humans astound me. Yes, astound.And not astound in the good sense of the word, but astound me in that negative sense of the word. Some of you are very, very intelligent. And I like t...
Posted by Jesus Christ on Thu, 06 Dec 2007 06:27:00 PST

Gospel Truths -or- Jesus is Staring at Your Cleavage

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is true. Staring at breasts daily will prolong your life.The following is an article released from an undeniably reputable news source:10 Minutes Of Staring at Boobs Dai...
Posted by Jesus Christ on Mon, 03 Dec 2007 08:16:00 PST

These Kids Will Jack You Up

The Chinese characters on the YouTube caption call him "little Shaolin," and he's practicing a Tongzi Gong (basically, Little Kid Kung Fu). At any rate, these kids will jack you up.... ...
Posted by Jesus Christ on Fri, 30 Nov 2007 05:10:00 PST

Read Something Stimulating for a Change

"But Jesus, what book could be better than the Bible?" The broad stroke: Just about all of them. The finer detail:The New Kings of Nonfiction.I picked this book up after listening to a podcast of Thi...
Posted by Jesus Christ on Wed, 21 Nov 2007 06:50:00 PST