Steve Buscemi

My favorite review said I'm film's equivalent of junk mail. Fuck 'em. I'm just an average Steve tryin' to make a buck in this fuckwater world. If it wasn't for me, they wouldn't have anything to write about. I'm their milk money. Sure, there's Brittany Spears, the Olsen twins, and Michael Jackson... but... Jesus Christ! Why do even BOTHER with me? Well, I'm a tender guy, it's true. See, chics dig me because I know how to romance but I can screw like Dirk Diggler. I'm not the best lookin' cat, I know, but I'm sittin' on a rocket (no reference to any movies I've ever done). I love the little people. I'm a little people, for Christ's sake. Just don't call me at 3 a.m. to bitch about your electricity bill and grandma Fran who needs an operation. I worked hard for the scratch I got, and I'm keepin' it. But, I like to throw in a couple bucks for the Indie films. It's nice to see some actual GOOD work being done once in awhile. So, holler. And I'll holler back, joe. But don't let me catch you on my range after dark or you'll be screaming into the business end of my wood chipper. It hurts me more than it hurts you.