Member Since: 5/18/2005
Band Website: eldonk.com
Band Members: The Falcon
The FALCON is El Donk's guitarist, singer, songwriter, prophet, and charismatic dictator. For years a high-powered Republican campaign consultant, the Falcon left the suit-and-tie life behind when he was blessed with a vision, beautiful in its clarity: to open a nationwide chain of fast-food restaurants featuring products made only of beets, tallow, and synthetic proteins. Bankruptcy followed soon after. Undeterred by this catastrophic setback, the Falcon turned to the more forgiving worlds of religion and music. The Religion: worshipping a graven image of the pagan idol, the Golden Donkey of Love. The Band: El Donk. The rest was history.
Woobie3k
More machine than man, twisted and evil, the WOOBINATOR 3000 (aka Woobie, W3k) is El Donk's saxophonist and lead banterer. Actually a robot from the future, the W3K was sent back to our time to avert some sort of impending calamity. Unfortunately, most of his programming was irreparably scrambled in the journey through time, rendering him incapable of performing his mission-or indeed, any mission. After this catastrophic setback, the W3K found a niche in our space/time nexus the only way he knew how: by playing saxophone and bantering merrily in a combination cult/rock band.
The Baron
THE BARON is El Donk's bassist and most recent convert. Trained in bass guitar, alchemy, and philately at the Polytechnisches Institut von Obergammerneubatenberg, The Baron soon turned his talents to a life of crime. Then he turned them away from crime. Then back to crime, then, finally, back away again. His subsequent term of military service is currently classified by the United States Department of Agriculture. After an unspecified catastrophic setback of some sort, The Baron washed up on a rocky shore, where he was taken in by the kindly old shepherds of El Donk. His musical skills and susceptibility to basic mind control techniques made him an ideal bass player for El Donk, which needed a bass player at the time.
Fastlane
FASTLANE, conqueror of empires. FASTLANE, plunderer of villages. FASTLANE, drummer of drums. His mighty hordes of mounted warriors spread havoc and destruction wherever they rode. His empire would stretch from Eastern Europe to the China Sea. Ancient dynasties crumbled before his insatiable wrath. Then, before any sort of catastrophic setback could befall him, FASTLANE turned his attention to his first love--music. Now he plays drums for El Donk.
Type of Label: None