Bobby profile picture

Bobby

Remember that time they busted us all drugged-up and drunk in stolen vestments?

About Me

R. W. Malo Drunken Iconoclast, Suckfish & SnakeHours: Noon to dawn Closed Mondays

My Interests

Anarchy, Socialist experiments performed out of a desk drawer, Being really bad at skiing and worse at bass guitar, subversive activities (only on the clock though), slowly eroding Nowak's optimism, flim-flamming, blacklisted literature, and, of course, fishing.

I'd like to meet:

Phineas Gage. I feel cheated at being born infinitely too late to meet the person who had a large tamping iron blasted clear through his skull and still maintained the ability to entertain guests.

Music:

This is all relative. After all, farts are jazz to assholes.

Movies:

SLC Punk, Election, MP's Holy Grail-Life Of Brian-Meaning Of Life, South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut, Team America: World Police, Way Of The Gun, Snatch, Fight Club, Rules Of Attraction, The Salton Sea, Spun, Trainspotting, My Fellow Americans, Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, Baseketball, The Dangerous Lives Of Altar Boys, The Mudge Boy, Kids, Bully, Orgazmo, American Psycho, the Star Wars series, the Lord Of The Rings trilogy, Office Space, Employee Of The Month, Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead, Saved!, Igby Goes Down, I Heart Huckabees, Animal House, Van Wilder, Patton, Buffalo Soldiers, Catch-22, The Big Lebowski, Falling Down, Clerks

Television:

South Park, Drawn Together, Chappelle's Show, Showbiz Show, Colbert Report, Mind Of Mencia, Family Guy, Cowboy Bebop, Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law, Sealab 2021, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Robot Chicken, Futurama, Daria, Moral Orel, Mystery Science Theater 3000

Books:

The ones that make the best kindling.

Heroes:

Francis Glasgow Tinker. Now there's a romantic.

My Blog

Letters From The Lunatic Asylum

Ed. Note:  Persons searching for wisdom, sagacity, or even one iota of coherence are strongly advised to look elsewhere. "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." -Hunter S. Thompson  ...
Posted by Bobby on Tue, 12 Dec 2006 08:55:00 PST

A failure to communicate

The protagonist of this story's name has been omitted to protect not only the guilty but the writer as well.  I can hear him crying "libel!!!!!!!" right now.  And, he's a close confidant on ...
Posted by Bobby on Wed, 02 Aug 2006 04:10:00 PST

How To Spend Over Two Thousand Dollars In Five Days (a short story)

Of all the shops a person might expect to find on the Hollywood strip, an army surplus store is not one of them. When most people arrive at the Hollywood strip for their first time, the first thing t...
Posted by Bobby on Sun, 28 May 2006 08:55:00 PST

On The Road

Alright, here it is:Again, as of 4:30PM, May 18, this foul year of Our Lord, Two Thousand Six, Colin, John Paul, Mark and I became the owners of a 1980 Volkswagon Westphalia. Yes, it's the cocaine-an...
Posted by Bobby on Fri, 19 May 2006 12:24:00 PST

Journey To The Center Of The Mirth

One of the last times I was in a hospital was to have blood drawn. The needle juts out of my elbow, and the doctor is in the process of switching out the fourth vial for the fifth. At that point, Ra...
Posted by Bobby on Fri, 19 May 2006 10:50:00 PST

A Tale Of Two States

I'm playing with this, so please excuse the irony. Since I'm busy as hell at the moment, and I'm lazy, and not above self-aggrandizement, or much else for that matter, here's an old e-mail I sent to ...
Posted by Bobby on Tue, 11 Apr 2006 12:38:00 PST