Brandon profile picture

Brandon

Like diapers, I can change your life.

About Me

Uh... Yeah. I used to worship this trashy Kentuckian amateur nude model named Annette, but now I'm without a deity. So technically, I'm an atheist. And although I may not harbor any religious beliefs, I strongly feel that 'Nette will return the the net, and I'll therefore have someone to look up to for guidance and inspiration when the black hands of death hang over my life. Other than that craziness, I'm simply myself. (Thanks to Kim Lynn for turning me on to the bit of obvious philosophy in the previous sentence.)

My Interests

culture (various), myself, Tyra Banks, music, weed, liquor, beer, shopping, food, plants, concerts, art, television, religious iconography, BUZZ!!!, pussy (cats), amateur nude models, reading, playstation, the transgendered community

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet and interview the following ladies of Southern Charms past and present: Knee Socks, Coyote Girl Josi, Janay, Rika, Man Eater, Carina, Beach Girl, Bama Tina, LilRedBabe, Kinkymature UK, Southern Redhead, Sexy Sabrina, Juicy Jasmine, Magic Lady, Inida Mann, Shugar N Texas, Izzy, Dixie Vixen, Fetish Fantasy, CJ, and Alec the Pantied Chub.

Music:

Belle and Sebastian, Sufjan Stevens, Kelly Clarkson, The Libertines, TV on the Radio, Okkervil River, The Killers, The Shins, Bloc Party, Peter Bjorn and John, Radiohead, The Streets, Babyshambles, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, The Decemberists, Hot Chip, The Knife, Lucinda Williams, Amy Winehouse, Loretta Lynn, Annie, Bishop Allen, Voxtrot, LCD Soundsystem, Junior Boys, Fujiya & Miyagi, Mark Ronson, Bright Eyes, Camera Obscura, Arcade Fire, Of Montreal, Cat Power, Justin Timberlake, Whitney Houston, Christina Aguilera, Avril Lavigne, Franz Ferdinand, Gorillaz, M.I.A., Maroon 5, Rihanna, Tori Amos, Portishead, Monica, Missy Elliott, Lil' Kim, Mary J. Blige, Aaliyah, TLC, Deborah Cox, Nelly Furtado, P!nk, Menomena, Handsome Furs, Ciara, Sara Evans, Reba McEntire, Dolly Parton

Movies:

Y tu mamá también, La Mala educación, María llena eres de gracia, Diarios de motocicleta, Amores perros, Requiem for a Dream, Camp, Boogie Nights, The Labyrinth, Pink Flamingos, Desperate Living, Female Trouble, Polyester, 54, Blow, 28 Days Later, Selena, Brokeback Mountain, Beautiful Thing, Get Real, Angels in America, 8 Mile, Steel Magnolias, Muriel's Wedding, Mommie Dearest, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, What's Love Got to Do With It, Donnie Darko, Trick, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Broken Hearts Club, Run Lola Run, She-Devil, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind, Seven, The Rules of Attraction, Lord of the Rings, Napoleon Dynamite, Paris is Burning, American Eunuchs, Parenthood, Kids, Party Monster, Trainspotting, Buena Vista Social Club, Welcome to the Dollhouse, High School Musical 2

Television:

Veronica Mars, America's Next Top Model, Little Britain, The Office, The Real Housewives of Orange County, The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, American Idol, Degrassi: The Next Generation, The Tyra Banks Show, I Love New York, Absolutely Fabulous, Entourage, Flight of the Conchords, Naruto, Big Love, Big Brother

Books:

Naked, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family Up in Corduroy and Denim, Barrel Fever, Middlesex, Requiem for a Dream, The Virgin Suicides, Wise Blood, The Violent Bear It Away, Lolita, Running with Scissors, Magical Thinking, Dry, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Coal Miner's Daughter, The Symposium, Sexual Metamorphosis, Faun and Games, The Elk 1999

Heroes:

"Coyote Girl" Josi Skelton, Annette Wyatt, Loretta Lynn, Stuart Murdoch, Thom Yorke, Pete Doherty, Sufjan Stevens, Whitney Houston, Lil' Kim, Mo'Nique, Kelly Clarkson, Mike Skinner, David Sedaris, Jeffrey Eugenides, Flannery O'Connor, Lucinda Williams, Bill Clinton, Kim Lynn, Janice Dickinson, Tyra Banks, Nadine Hughes

My Blog

God forsake me.

I haven't been at work since July 3, 2007.  The fourth was a given holiday, so I decided to take the next two days off.  In other words, I haven't slaved over the cotton fields in five ...
Posted by Brandon on Mon, 09 Jul 2007 10:40:00 PST

Picked all my weeds, but kept the flowers.

I don't know how the whole Kelly Clarkson controversy is affecting everyone else, but it's causing me to lose sleep.  The hate directed towards this girl - someone I went to high school with...
Posted by Brandon on Sun, 17 Jun 2007 01:52:00 PST

Heard from God lately?

It can't just be coincidence. Yes, that church fucking asked me to use its sign to make Annette art.  Hell, any mention of the word "knee" brings her to mind, but, seriously, "knee mail" is ...
Posted by Brandon on Mon, 04 Jun 2007 05:27:00 PST

Wide open spaces.

Driving by, I thought this church would be a perfect physical space for the worship of Annette, so I snapped it.  The little JESUS sign on the left is totally cute, right?  Neon is totally t...
Posted by Brandon on Mon, 21 May 2007 08:29:00 PST

Inspiration struck

I'm finally starting to feel artistic again.  Maybe the warmth of the weather has stimulated my creative energies, which are bubbling in the fluency of the past.  Inside my head reside some ...
Posted by Brandon on Wed, 16 May 2007 10:32:00 PST

You thought you knew, but you had no idea.

My blog is ace: http://churchofannette.blogspot.com/ 1K a day can't be wrong.
Posted by Brandon on Sat, 06 May 2006 11:10:00 PST

Update.

500?  Wow, I was easily impressed back then.
Posted by Brandon on Mon, 27 Feb 2006 09:57:00 PST

Come and see it

Five-fucking-hundred My blog just received its 500th visitor (since I installed the site meter on Thursday). That's more than I thought I'd have in months, especially since none of you bitches fro...
Posted by Brandon on Sun, 15 Jan 2006 02:39:00 PST

I just started a real blog

http://churchofannette.blogspot.com/ Please check it out.  It's in its infancy, but I plan on making it a huge, famous blog.  I need readers who can do the whole word-of-mouth thing.  T...
Posted by Brandon on Mon, 09 Jan 2006 08:26:00 PST

Repetition & isolation

REPETITION I can't stop listening to the same two songs over and over - on the way to work, during lunch, and on the way home.  The pair in question are "Is This Love?" by Clay Your Hands Say Yea...
Posted by Brandon on Sat, 07 Jan 2006 05:58:00 PST