Helcyon profile picture

Helcyon

I am here for Friends

About Me

i am no-one

My Interests

lawn bowls, stoating

I'd like to meet:


Charlene... a recording artist ...no not Kylie this time (another story). Look the one I'm talking about was very mis-understood and what I'd like is this: I'd like to be sent back in time to pre-1976, before her song "I've never been to me" was released, as some kind of Terminator to choke or otherwise liquidate her throat. The monsterously successful 1982 re-release would always be the horrendous consequence otherwise. And Kylie.

Music:

yep... u bet! incl. ashlee simpson

Movies:

movies are often disappointing if you are hoping to be not disappointed except for about five to twenty exceptions those being actual good movies i.e. count yorga wampire, return of count worga, strictly mad max 1, Shocker (let's go coast to coast), and a (very) few others as I deem as needs be. kill most not all soft porn and pashing off on screen either that or kill me as there just isn't enough room in this existence for both hehe

Television:

the flying out the window or blowing up kind at best but will settle for Y &amp R.

Books:

Enid Blyton Uncut - Descent into Darkness Just after Enid's death in 1968 (she choked to death on raspberry tartlets, cream and tea) a tell-all expose' by Chinky the horrid elf from "The Wishing Chair" was rushed into print. In it he details the years of indecent servitude he endured locked away in a previously unknown hollowed-out section of the Magic Faraway Tree. There he was forced to write increasingly bizarre drivel which he would hand over to Enid whenever she showed up at the tail-end of one of her legendary absynth/arsenic fuelled rampages which was often. "The Famous Five Get Fucked" is probably the finest of Chinky's uncredited works however it was never published because Timmy the Dog got an injunction preventing the use of wood-cuts produced unexpectedly by a private detective. The world was spared and Chinky, by now an incurable and bitter syphillitic xenophobe, was finally liberated by the Secret Seven (a popular band of itinerant tinkers, telephone cleaners and contortionists) while Enid was passed out one day. Chinky secretly changed his identity adopting the persona of a wealthy escaped nazi's widow embarking on a pathetic and doomed attempt to rejoin Toytown society. Of course it wasn't long before he was forced to resume his previous life as Mr Plod's moll. Absolutely nothing whatever at all more is known about either Chinky or Enid Blyton other than that co-incidentally they are both universally despised. Sadly, up until his death in 1983 of septic arseitis, there were persistent rumours surrounding Chinky concerning an apparent series of disgusting love quadrangles maybe involving Noddy, Big-ears and a string of unconfirmed other party/s (thought to be variously a skittle/s, a golliwog/s and a Bobbsey twin/s). Enid is buried on the Orkney Islands where it is still thought of as polite to piss on her grave.

Heroes:

Akira Takasaki... lady boys of japan living with spandex toxicity