Foreman

Well well...guess I'm supposed to tell the world my story. I must warn you, tis one that will make the reader weary and wonder aloud "My, what a dangerous life he has lived". I spent a year in Vietnam when I was 18 disarming old landmines and building thatched roof huts. While there I learned how to get good deals on hookers and AK-47s. I then spent the next two years smuggling ancient Egyptian relics in Cairo to rich Westerners (I made a fortune off that bust of Nefertiti).After that I entered MTSU and completed my undergraduate degree in just over 3 years. Look up the word "studious" in the dictionary and you will see my picture. I was the epitome of "bookworm", always in the library or the computer lab. I managed to infiltrate the College Republicans and ran for Class President under the moniker "Lil' Goldwater" Upon my election, I confessed that I believed gays should marry and corporate welfare should come to an end. Although I was always busy gettin' my learn on, I somehow still found time to hit the bars 5 nights a week and run an underground fight club on Sunday nights. Lemme tell ya, there's nothing like taking a test at 8 in the morning with a hangover and a bloody nose and broken ribs.After MTSU I traveled to India where I helped raise orphaned elephants. That ended quickly when I got drunk off Kingfisher and pissed in the Ganges right in the middle of a bunch of worshippers just to make them angry. I'll never forget being chased out of Calcutta by a mob armed with Cricket bats.I then lived in Buenos Aires for a few months where I took on the reputation as a master seducer and Tango dancer. The locals affectionately called me "The Gringo Guacho" and tossed me their daughters.I then traveled north to Sao Paulo where I found work as a mercenary hired by the Police to combat gangs in the Favelas. The gun skills that I learned in Vietnam came in very handy. There's nothing quite like staring down a 15 year old gangbanger with my 9mm tucked in the back of my pants and a rusty semi-automatic pointed at you. Nerves of Steel I tell ya.I decided to take it easy for a while, so here I am back in Murfreesboro. Behind a desk....Almost forgot, I take fucking horrible photos. If there's a camera pointed at me then i'm looking like Sloth from Goonies for some reason.