Sexual Elf! - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hmm..I'm extremely sensitive, but not many people notice, because I try to ignore the fact, rather than upset the status quo. I want to go back to Scotland. I want to go to a lot of places before I die. I also want to learn how to fly. I was born right-handed but write with my left hand. My intelligence is hugely underestimated on a daily basis.If I'm eating rice, it's 90% guaranteed I'll get a grain stuck in my nose. I don't judge people. Weellll ok...my bestie says I judge so much my last name should be Dredd. I prefer Ito, since I look all Asian and stuff. But I don't let my pre-judgement preclude someone from being my friend :) I want to witness the implosion of a major building at least once, if not six times. I'm frustrated by my lack of definitive goals. Or maybe I do have goals, but they aren't what I think they should be. I love tv. Chapped lips turn me off. 'Orientated' is, in fact, a word - it means to face or turn east. I'm (so I've been told) hyper-sensitive to smells. And I think phantom smells are intriguing. I don't understand how people can misspell things. One of my biggest pet peeves is bad grammar. I can't stand the sound it makes when salt lands on a stovetop. I've hiked (a small portion of) the Appalachian Trail. Something that makes my skin crawl is the sound made when two hands are rubbed together. The Harry Potter references are getting old. I've forgotten everything I ever learned about dinosaurs. Sushi is delicious. I'm a big believer in pill therapy and self-medication. Which may be problematic, I'll have to give it a few years. I look forward to being married, but only because I promised myself I'll never get divorced - which means I'll actually have to love my husband. Hopefully he'll love me back. I look forward even more to raising a child or two. They're kind of like Magic Rocks, if anyone remembers that gem of a scientific children's toy. I love dogs. I also love my two cats. I wish I was closer to my family, but am uncomfortable going about it. I like cheesy thrillers. I also like cheesy movies. Almost as much as old movies. I internally count any repetitive action. Like stair-climbing. Or tooth-brushing. Also I apparently like hyphens.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Joey Stephenson. Also...The selfless soul who will punch me every time I make a bad decision. Or...yeah, wet willie me. Someone who gives me a wet willie every time I decide to do something that will only hurt me in the end. I think a wet willie, in my case, is more effective.I edited my profile with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4

My Blog

Can you figure out why I find this amusing?

This is a comment on PostSecret's latest blog about Myspace turning into a douche, and I laughed like Saul Silver watching 227 when I saw it:--editThanks, Fancy :)
Posted by on Mon, 23 Feb 2009 03:53:00 GMT

If you're reading this...

Then you're not one of the 200 people I deleted Wednesday night. Congratulations! Now send me a present.:)--editSomeone just pointed out to me this blog keeps, like, re-posting or something. Um...sorr...
Posted by on Sun, 22 Feb 2009 19:07:00 GMT

How not to talk to a lady.

Ok, so there's this guy. I've been kinda interested for a few months now, but I only rarely saw him out. We always clicked whenever we talked. Or so I thought.I saw this guy at 3 Crow the other nigh...
Posted by on Sat, 17 Jan 2009 13:12:00 GMT

How much sand is in my vagina?

I'm glad you asked. This is a repost from about a year ago, but I wanted to share it with my new friends. Josh Gifford, you can thank him for this. Also for the Hot Waffle. So here's the post:--------...
Posted by on Tue, 06 Jan 2009 20:25:00 GMT

Postsecret

I don't know how many of y'all read Postsecret, but I think it's a lovely thing. I know everyone has secrets out there - feel free to use my Truthbox to tell some of yours! I think it's a lovely idea....
Posted by on Sat, 20 Dec 2008 21:05:00 GMT

Its interesting.

Used to be, the guys I slept with were into *me*. Now it seems, the guys I sleep with are into me while they're sleeping with me, but generally into someone else during all other minutes in the day.Is...
Posted by on Wed, 26 Nov 2008 09:00:00 GMT

Intensity and class.

You know that post I put up a few days ago about guys friending me from all over the place? WELL. I was just looking at my pictures and I was reminded of something funny. A while back I randomly found...
Posted by on Mon, 24 Nov 2008 13:25:00 GMT

For those of you not familiar with Don Dolmes:

He had the smallest cock in porn. See more funny videos at Funny or Die
Posted by on Fri, 21 Nov 2008 09:47:00 GMT

Haayyy...

Last night (this morning really), around 2 or 2:30, I was sitting on my front steps smoking and catching up on Consumerist, and I heard the clack-click-clack of lady heels coming down my walkway. I di...
Posted by on Wed, 12 Nov 2008 03:59:00 GMT

Im pretty sure this sums up most more-than-friends relationships.

From a (female) friend of mine in our chat just now: "while we decide how severe my approaching paranoid break-down is going to be, let me suck you off, ok?"You're welcome.
Posted by on Mon, 10 Nov 2008 23:02:00 GMT