LOST BLOG: Spring Break Toronto Style! |
OPENING ACT: Whackjob? You got some 'splainin' to do!
Yeah yeah yeah, I know it's been awhile and considering my last downer ass blog was all about voluntarily commiting myself to a mental healt...
Posted by BRIAN FN GARTLAND on Sat, 14 Apr 2007 06:37:00 PST |
2006 YEAR IN REVIEW; and an announcement. |
WARM UP ACT:
I TOLD YOU NOT TO FLUSH THAT
WARNING: This warm up act section of the blog contains a great deal of scatological humor ("poop jokes" for you dropouts) so if that grosses you ...
Posted by BRIAN FN GARTLAND on Tue, 02 Jan 2007 12:44:00 PST |
12/25/06 This Waitress Took More Than My Order... |
ACT ONE:
SEXY PEOPLE TALK FUNNY
In our last episode of "Brian Sucks at Life" I had been fired from my job at Dante-Zeller Tuxedo (while on my two weeks notice) on the grounds of gross incompete...
Posted by BRIAN FN GARTLAND on Tue, 26 Dec 2006 08:42:00 PST |
[LOST BLOG] The Midwest is like a fat chick who doesn't give good head. |
NOTE December 20, 2006;
This writing has been a saved word document on my computer pretty much since I took this trip at the end of the Spring 06 semester. What a semester it was. A breaku...
Posted by BRIAN FN GARTLAND on Wed, 20 Dec 2006 03:01:00 PST |
Sweet and Sour Grapes from a Terminated Employee (A Love Letter to Dante's) |
Was that "A Love-letter to Dante's?" Or just a kiss-off?
I GOT FIRED!
Once again I have managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
My employment status has finally caught u...
Posted by BRIAN FN GARTLAND on Sun, 24 Sep 2006 02:06:00 PST |
REWARD: Lost Blog (Toronto March 06) |
Hey thats Legal in Canada too?!?
TORONTO, ON March 11th, 2006--
Well, I rolled into Canada at about 1am and while driving in I did notice a few prostitutes hanging around. These were clic...
Posted by BRIAN FN GARTLAND on Mon, 29 May 2006 08:53:00 PST |
Banned In Boston 2: Worst Sequel Ever! |
Boston, That fuckin' Toilet.
And yes we photoshopped out the fire and poverty.
So yeah, it is very well documented that Im a story teller, (No bullshit. Hit the "older" button al...
Posted by BRIAN FN GARTLAND on Sat, 08 Apr 2006 04:14:00 PST |
Are you a Perfect Match Test? And a special guest column by Evan |
WHAT TURNS BRIAN GARTLAND ON?
A Self-Assessment Exercise For Women Shits n' Giggles
By Brian Gartland
Attention to all the women who may be interested in spending more time with me romantically...
Posted by BRIAN FN GARTLAND on Sun, 19 Mar 2006 03:55:00 PST |
Boy, When Things Go Wrong (and preivew of Boston Part 2) |
Big Boston Pre-game Show
Tomorrow I leave for Boston. It's the most wonderful time of the year, indeed. It's time for the Harvard Model United Nations, and those of you long-time re...
Posted by BRIAN FN GARTLAND on Wed, 15 Feb 2006 06:17:00 PST |
Sunday: A true "BEST DAY EVER" Candidate! |
Wow, I didn't have a day like that in a long time. It was truly a day to remember...no thanks to you numbskulls.
In case you're unaware, it snowed yesterday.
I got the call at 8am--it was my dis...
Posted by BRIAN FN GARTLAND on Mon, 13 Feb 2006 06:39:00 PST |
