Gazuga is a mighty, pan-dimensional being who's manifestation in our realm is a giant three-eyed ape. And he's pissed. He wants to force all the vegetarians in the world to eat nothing but filet mignon, for starters. He also wants to send all Miller Lite drinkers to a Beer Rehabilitation Camp where they learn that alcoholic piss does not constitute a real beverage. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
The title for his overall platform is called The Cleansing. The last time he tried to implement this initiative was in 1995, but due to some bad luck and poor market analysis, he ended up floating through space in a piece of gerbil tubing for about 12 years. He intends to make a second go at it, but this time, he wants to have a better propaganda effort backing him up.
That's where I come in. My name is ninjadroid, and I'm the Minister of the Beat in this operation. I'm also basically the gopher since our organization is, uh, rather lightly staffed at the moment. We are, however, looking for motivated interns, and we can offer college credit, great work experience, and a chance to help take over the world to those qualifed college juniors and seniors with the guts to apply, so message me with your resume (PDF or DOC please) if you're interested.
To everybody else, feel free to join the rank and file of our legions. Alternatively, you can rot in the pits of lamination. Lamentation! Pits of lamentation. You'll rot there. So think about it, m'kay?