Wm. profile picture

Wm.

I miss being pretentious.

About Me

I'm trying.

My Interests

Searching the darkest corners of my house to find Osama Bin Laden (who's much quieter than one might assume). Is there a bounty for his ass? Because I heard there was. It's like a million dollars, right? Does the government tax you on bounties? And Barack Obama promised to kill him when I bring him in, right? I mean, he's not going to rot in jail or anything - because money or no money, I'm not gonna do it if there's no eye for an eye old testament bloodshed involved, nosireebob. And I pray that they televise that shit. Seriously, I pray for it. Hopefully the big silently apathetic murderer clown ghost upstairs grants my wish and we can all live in peace as the WAR ON TERROR will finally have been decisively won and we'll all join hands - red, brown, yellow, black, and white - share a coke, and praise His name, nay, holler it in one harmonious shriek...HOSANNAH IN THE HIGHEST!

I'd like to meet:

A Leprechaun. I need some gold, what?

Music:

Don't get me started. YOU would think it was an argument. I would consider it a passionate tete-a-tete between old friends. The dialog, not the couch.

Movies:

You can do a lot worse than a 35mm print of Jules et Jim. Like a 35mm print of The Number 23. And you'll never live down pounding 22s of Miller Lite while watching the Brown Bunny. Try it, I have!

Television:

Or magazines. I like to find out what to like as quickly as possible. When they figure out how to put mind control into a syringe so I can maximize my quote-remembering time and my being scared into becoming what I hate through proliferation of 9-11 imagery time, I'll finally be able to find time to buy more STUFF! Yes, the frozen yogurt the aliens give us so they can take over the world.Errol Morris' First Person is totally awesome, too. At least on DVD. I like to make up the commercials in my mind's eye.

Books:

I ain't goan to know goddam liberry!

Heroes:

My hot wife and the guy who invented God. He was pretty fuckin' smart. And K. D. Lang on Pee Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special. Can I go ahead and be serious for a minute and say the man in the mirror?

My Blog

The end is near!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7636577.stm
Posted by Wm. on Fri, 26 Sep 2008 07:01:00 PST

Roger Ebert is a goddamn genius.

Here's the link to the original...proof that Senor Roger Ebert is a goddman genius:http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article? AID=/20080921/COMMENTARY/809219997And I've copied the text here,...
Posted by Wm. on Fri, 26 Sep 2008 06:50:00 PST

Update - I’m feeling much better, thanks so much for all the inquiries and well-wishes

By the way, that's SARCASM, motherfuckers! But whether you care if I'm alive or dead or not, I'm feeling much better and I even got to go to the Silver Jews show last night - and guess what? In the ...
Posted by Wm. on Wed, 10 Sep 2008 08:58:00 PST

People with stupid brains are stupid and forgetful

I stumbled upon this review today. Haven't seen the movie, probably will, but anyway...http://nymag.com/movies/reviews/49943/You can pretty much skip the review, because who cares what New York magaz...
Posted by Wm. on Tue, 09 Sep 2008 09:18:00 PST

Jesus Fucking Christ

Do me a favor and read this:http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7523796.stm
Posted by Wm. on Fri, 25 Jul 2008 07:54:00 PST

I like old Coke

"I like old Coke because it's old and so am I."- from The Wedding Singer, the Last Great American Film To Star Drew Barrymorehttp://blogs.guardian.co.uk/art/2008/07/1970s_cinem a_has_never_been_be.html...
Posted by Wm. on Tue, 22 Jul 2008 09:01:00 PST

Let’s all be less predictable

and do silly things! I implore thee...I am giving you permission to take a day off from becoming your parents!while I'm at it, this is hilarious:http://www.avclub.com/content/hater/the_mpaa_think s_yo...
Posted by Wm. on Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:36:00 PST

People are bad

So, why does Barack Obama want to end the war in Iraq just so he can escalate the war we're apparently still fighting in Afghanistan?And who gives a fuck about Osama bin Laden? That's so 9/11. Move ...
Posted by Wm. on Wed, 16 Jul 2008 09:23:00 PST

Try to learn something new everyday!

So, I was fooling around on my web browser, taking in the "sites" (hawhawhaw) and sounds that the virtual world has to offer and after I (eventually) got bored with animal porno (http://www.youtube.co...
Posted by Wm. on Mon, 28 Apr 2008 10:58:00 PST

I split a magnum of white wine with my old lady last night...

And I feel oddly refreshed today! And She & Him are sounding really good right about now. I think all Hollywood starlets should record an album of throwback Phil Spector-in-a-swimming-pool-in-autumn...
Posted by Wm. on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 09:01:00 PST