Bless this Jess profile picture

Bless this Jess

I got a bikini wax for THIS?!

About Me


I'm just your typical female oxymoron -- and, no, that's not a play on my intelligence. I'm a girlie tomboy, a misanthropic humanitarian, an introverted extrovert, a realistic liberal, a bohemian philistine, and a cynical romantic.
As of now, I'm exploring where life takes me in the great city of Philadelphia, where I'm studying Digital Media for Print and Web at Moore College of Art and Design. I also write a semi-weekly blog (basically when I feel like it) for the Charleston City Paper chronicling my many self-sabotaging misdaventures in love and life. I still perform occasionally (when not busy designing Medicare brochures) and am in the process of developing a couple nifty projects that I hope see the light of day!
Here's the short list of former ways I made my rent:
Dating Columnist who hates dating, Improv Actor, Pissed-off Radio Morning Show Co-Host, Tourist-hating Ghost Tour Guide, Traffic Reporter, Annoyed Bartender, On-Set Costume Supervisor, Pretentious movie-loving Video Store Clerk, Production Director, Standardized Patient, Disgruntled Barista, Dating your dad.

My Interests

Printmaking, foreign food labels, engrish, aesthetics, astronaut ice cream, Ethiopian and Indian food, Ed Roth and Von Dutch pin-striping, Brechtian cabaret, DIY projects, Airstreams, existentialism, Thai Bubble Tea, non-yappy small dogs, accordians, bowling, weird 80s performance art-rock, This American Life, competitive eaters, conjoined twins, Carvel Cookiepuss cakes, shows about 600 pound tumors, indie comics, celebrity gossip, planetariums and nerdy space stuff, B-movies, John Fluevog shoes, "The Haunted Mansion" ride at Disney World, hobo-watching, outsider and apocalypse art, religious kitsch, Day of the Dead folk art, Mexican wrestling masks, tinsel Christmas trees, vintage atomic dresses, arcades, freak show banners, bakelite necklaces, stop motion animation, comedy in all clever forms, baking, fencing, watching kiddie larpers in the park, sleeping late on rainy days, vinyl toys, board games, lounging around in a slip and kimono, Fridays, crazy cults, banned cartoons from the 40s and 50s, Early Sixties Dance Craze songs, and finally, people who have great taste, sharp wit, and keep it real. Werd.

Quite possibly the greatest sammich ever...

Charleston's only all chica comedy improv troupe!

Charleston City Paper "Best of":
Best Entertainment for a Girls? Night Out

Forget the typical girls? night activities of watching sappy chick flicks and drinking cheap wine. For an unforgettable night of laughing ?til your face hurts, check out the fun, fearless females of Mary Kay Has a Posse, part of the Theatre 99 family. These witty women will have you in tears from the get-go. The View-style talk show format provides the perfect lead-in, after which some hysterical improvisation based on previously discussed topics sends up everything from moms on Ritalin to ?Freedom Fry? politics. Watching these women is sure-fire entertainment for a girls? night out, but there?s plenty here for the guys too. ?Anna Hofford

MKHAP day at Joe Riley Stadium! That dog is totally on 'roids.

And some of my now-defunct groups...

The writers and cast of MAFGCWAFS -- myself, Caleb Usry, Jason Cooper, and Brandy Sullivan.

is a 4 person improv group consisting of myself, HaveNot! Greg Tavares and local actors Biz Lyons and R.W. Smith. Unlike most other improv groups, we approach our scenes and characters realistically and attempt to find the natural humor in the relationships formed on stage. The end result resembles more of a play, rather than a traditional long form set.

And who could forget about The Bottom Line and Fishing with Dynamite? Rest in Peace, fuckers.

Softkey Left softkey Right

I'd like to meet:

/

Music:



Movies:



Television:

The Greatest Show EVA:

Close Second:

Books:



..

Heroes:


Tom

Mike

Bill

Ed

And Sean Sullivan.

My Blog

3 of my favorite things collide into a tender morsel of awesomeness.

I heart Cholas, Trannies, and Cops. And now my prayers have been answered."Excuse my Beauty." ...
Posted by Bless this Jess on Thu, 03 Apr 2008 03:20:00 PST

Party at my house April 5th. Wear your kevlar.

Basically it’s Brooke’s Birthday/Housewarming Party. We’re asking people to bring a bottle of booze to share and leave at the house so we can build up our swingin’ liquor cabin...
Posted by Bless this Jess on Fri, 28 Mar 2008 06:28:00 PST

Youre all going to die. Oh, yeah  me too.

New blog, sunshine!http://chaseison.ccpblogs.com/Missing yous,-J
Posted by Bless this Jess on Thu, 20 Mar 2008 05:55:00 PST

New blog, new shows, new questions, OMG, LOL, gak, gak, gak...

There's a new, long overdue blog about what everyone has in common with Brit Brit Spears at http://chaseison.ccpblogs.com/Also, Mary Kay has a Posse will be performing in Charleston Feb. 22-23 at Thea...
Posted by Bless this Jess on Wed, 06 Feb 2008 03:23:00 PST

Insomnia leads to weird confessions...

Every night before I go to bed, I arm myself with a pair of tweezers and a magnified mirror and squeeze stuff out of the pores on my nose. I need quit it -- I've already scarred myself by doing this, ...
Posted by Bless this Jess on Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:12:00 PST

Mary Kay has a Posse reunites for one very special weekend!

Our Posse may be stretched out far and wide, but now we're back, kickin' it on the east SiiiIIIIIIDE!Feb. 22nd and 23rd at Theatre 99Call 843-853-6687 or etix.comCome see what all the fuss is about.An...
Posted by Bless this Jess on Wed, 09 Jan 2008 07:22:00 PST

Who in Philly wants to go see the Tiger Lillies with me?! Anyone?!

Hiya,Dan has to go to Washington for work and I'm stuck with no one to go see the Tiger Lillies with next Wednesday at TLA.Anyone interested? I've got great seats -- 4th row. They're lots of fun! I've...
Posted by Bless this Jess on Wed, 05 Dec 2007 12:27:00 PST

The "Hit and Run" that stole Christmas.

As Dan and I slept soundly in my bedwith visions of kick-boxing midgets dancing in our heads,I awoke to the the song of my cell phone ringingMr. Curtis Blow was the one who was singing.My roommate tol...
Posted by Bless this Jess on Sun, 02 Dec 2007 11:11:00 PST

Grown-ass women showing their "O" face.

So Oprah had her "Favorite Things" shindig the other day, and as could be expected, the audience lost their fucking minds. Toward the end of the tape, you can catch a couple women actually raising the...
Posted by Bless this Jess on Tue, 20 Nov 2007 03:59:00 PST

Greatest. Song. Ever.

Y'all. Seriously.Update -- Oooh, Riskay is a hater! She disabled the ability to embed her video! So, here's a Sims video with the song. Go smell a dick, Riskay! ...
Posted by Bless this Jess on Thu, 15 Nov 2007 03:32:00 PST