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Cheeky

If you're not first, you're last.

About Me

Shameless self-promotion...Does it get any better than this? Let's see, I've discovered a cure for cancer , written a novel , deciphered Kryptos ( with one hand tied behind my back !) and babies smile when I enter the room . That's really all you need to know about me .

My Interests

My amazing nephew , who is more brilliant than all of us combined. (Guess I'll mention the new niece while I'm at it), Maxim Magazine , sarcasm , Budweiser's Real American Heroes / Real Men of Genius , Excellent Grammar , Chocolate Soda , useless information , Netflix , lying on the beach (which rarely ever happens anymore, as my phobia of germs, used syringes, and dead sea animals is growing worse by the hour), Craigslist , great movie quotes , the I-net , Moody Music , Scrabble , Volleyball , Concerts , Brie Cheese Sammiches , Darts , Art Shows , Film Festivals , Spiral Staircases , Palindromes , Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis , my green Schwinn Beach Cruiser (with its pathetic flat tire .... sigh ), milk tea with boba , traveling , NOT having a broken fibula ...Newest obsession: Vanity Fair

I'd like to meet:

Joe Morgenstern, Bob Winter, and Pierre Capretz. If you see your name on this list, send me an email (but only through MySpace, of course).

Music:

The Shins, Flake Music, Interpol, Blur, Postal Service, Death Cab for Cutie, Simon and Garfunkle, Daft Punk, Royksopp Music, Air, Travis, Camera Obscura, The Clash, The Rentals, Grand Daddy, Band of Horses, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Coldplay, Alan Braxe, Zoot Woman, Pixies, Basement Jaxx, Blink 182, Jimmy Eat World, Visage, Star Sailor, No Doubt, Weezer, Flaming Lips, Radiohead, Placebo, The Sundays, Hooverphonics, The Cardigans, Yves Duteil, Frou Frou, Edith Piaf, Astrud Gilberto, The Police, 10cc, Modest Mouse, Queen, Tom Jones, The Beach Boys, Gary Lewis and the Playboys, The Cure, Underworld, Self, Wired All Wrong, Roger Sanchez, Bjork, Aaliyah, Sneak, Bright Eyes, Silver Sun Pickups, Azure Ray, Guster, Mew, David Byrne, Feist, Phoenix, Fischerspooner, The Avalanches, Shakira, Gomez, Built to Spill, Coconut Records, Band of Horses

Movies:

Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums, Usual Suspects, The Graduate, Amelie, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Time Bandits, Fight Club, Snatch, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, The Professional, L'Auberge Espagnol, Raising Arizona, Jean de Florette, Manon of the Spring, My Father's Glory, What About Bob, Garden State, Run Lola Run, A Pure Formality, Catch Me If You Can, Groundhog Day, La Femme Nikita, Closer, Wallace & Grommit, The Last Kiss, The Up Series, To Be and to Have, Wilbur Wants to Kill Kimself, Beyond the Gates of Splendor, Born Into Brothels, Afterlife...

Television:

Scrubs, Jeopardy (I'm sorry, "What is Jeopardy?", The Surreal Life, Family Guy, The Simpsons, The Office (UK), Wheel of Fortune, Lost, Strangers With Candy, Extras, Flight of the Conchords, Home Movies, Project Runway, ANTM, Surreal Life...(I'm a whore for those trashy reality shows)

Books:

David Sedaris, Dave Eggers, David Bezmozgis... I pretty much only read literature by authors named "Dave" or "David."

Heroes:

*Update* Steve Deeds, my mechanic, is my one and only hero. I'm going to name my first born son after him, Steve Deeds Marzioli.

My Blog

Mountain Dew Makes Love to My Tongue

The past few years have been very physically hurty (Hurty isn't really a word, but I've adopted Isaac's made up language.  When you get married, you suddenly become a clone of your spouse). ...
Posted by Cheeky on Sun, 04 May 2008 09:02:00 PST

Kristin says, "Everyone has a morning poo!"

2008 is the year of all good things  Marriage, Europe, no more Danny Bonaduce on the Adam Carolla show, and the final year of my 20's.  To commemorate the best year ever, I finally decided to ac...
Posted by Cheeky on Thu, 17 Jan 2008 12:36:00 PST

I saved Latin. What did you ever do?

This morning started (almost) like any other. Isaac shook my arm, "Time to wake up." Though the room was dark, I could still make out that he was in my face, eyes wide open.  Something was off.&n...
Posted by Cheeky on Tue, 08 Jan 2008 04:34:00 PST

If the landlords coming to fix a leak, you may want to put your condoms away

Well kids, here's a little irony to start the new year off right; Driving home from a horrendous game of darts tonight, I noticed a cop car in the middle of the street by m'shack. As fate would have i...
Posted by Cheeky on Sat, 05 Jan 2008 11:05:00 PST

Cali-suck-ation

I'm thinking of leaving my lover, for making me sit down with him and watch this terrible new show called Californication.  I think it was his way of getting back at me for ruling him at Jeopardy...
Posted by Cheeky on Thu, 23 Aug 2007 05:41:00 PST

An Ode to my Lovely Niece

I got this heart warming email from my sister recently: "I've been screaming for 10 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I went to change Shug's poopy diaper and there was a bug in her poop!! She must have pi...
Posted by Cheeky on Mon, 09 Jul 2007 12:40:00 PST

This blog has NOTHING to do with the size of Isaac's penis

My grandmother hasn't grasped the concept of the cell phone yet.  She has one, but she never uses it. In fact, it's one of those dinosaurs from about five years ago (soooo 2002) and she keep...
Posted by Cheeky on Fri, 22 Jun 2007 01:53:00 PST

It's Pretty Cold Down Here in Hell

It's time to pack up and move far, far away, to some place desolate, like Canada.  "Los Angeleez" is dead to me.  Sure, you've got the sunshine, the beaches, and eclectic food.  But, it...
Posted by Cheeky on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 05:03:00 PST

Driven to Tears

As much as it sickens me to write this, the show Dr. 90210 almost moved me to tears.  The episode in particular that I'm referring to was about this poor, Mexican immigrant (illegal  but, does i...
Posted by Cheeky on Mon, 26 Feb 2007 07:02:00 PST

Baby, youve got some sweet ass veins

That's right, I'm talkin' to you, Angelina Jolie.  Actually, Jolie's veins are terribly disgusting, all bulgy and dude-like.  However, I found myself longing for veins half as massive as her...
Posted by Cheeky on Sat, 20 Jan 2007 10:42:00 PST