Lorne Street Preacher

Once I passed the age of 40 became seemingly incapable of original thought,action or creativity. Instead of wasting my life away as a teenage poet and failed rebel, have now discovered that true fulfilment lies in purchasing new furniture, pottering in the garden and having a better car than the neighbours. No longer do I dream of overthrowing the system, becoming a tortured yet respected musician, or writing the great novel that is within us all, no. Now my ambitions largely consist of living long enough to enjoy a lazy retirement, where I fully intend to wear a flat cap, become incontinent, and drag myself down to the local each lunchtime to spend 3 hours over a half of mild while smoking a pipeful of Dutch Shag while, at the same time, appearing quite creepy and strange and smelling of cabbage. Except now of course the pipe smoking in the pub ain't going to happen, the swines.