Michael profile picture

Michael

I am here for Friends

About Me

A double dose of pimping. Morrissey should sing my life for me! Victim of information overload. I too dabbled in pacifism once - not in 'Nam of course. There is only one thing I love more than my favorite band playing live.... it's when they show up at a club to play a live DJ set!!! If I had a dollar for every second of my life, I would be a billionaire. Favorite topic - gadgets. Top-notch Freudian analyst. I grew up in a world shaped by casual nihilism, passivity, and too much money... a place devoid of feeling or hope. I am generally lazy and hate shaving... but I do so out of respect for others. My thumbs are apparently vulnerable to home improvement mishaps. Reportedly straightedge? Nothing to get excited about. I like to bite. Loveless through no fault of my own. I am an excessive showerer and face-washerer. I once spent years traveling through the desert, from mining town to mining town, searching for my long-lost half brother... along the way I was forced to use my martial arts skills to defend the innocent and to right that which is wrong. I never did find that bastard, but I sure did kick a lot of ass along the way!

My Interests

The Moon, Satellites, Mass Media, Computers, Propaganda, TV, Conspiracies, Overly Dramatic Expressions, Philosophy, Otherworldly Concepts, Radical Politics, Time Travel, Dinosaurs, Urban Exploration, Bonsai!!!, Salty Foods, Sweet Foods (only recently though), Gadgets, Arguing, Trinkets, Theme-Barbeques, Oblique Hints and Innuendo, Semi-Stale Blocks of Pink Popcorn, Decadence, Morality, Long Showers, Warm Soft Beds, the Kyü-pän vs. Kü-pän Dichotomy, Firecrackers and Bottle Rockets, Hair Products, Trespassing, Revolutionary Regimes of the 20th Century, Tacos, Potato Chips, Anti-Anti-Anti-Communism, Gambling with Other People's Money, Roadside Attractions (especially the World's Second Largest Ball of Twine), Piñatas, Godzilla, Britain, Spain, Israel, Holland, the Ronald Reagan Memorial Smoking Lounge, Tony's "Ian T-shirt," Coffee with LOTS of Cream and Sugar, Black Tea with Lemon, JFK, Too Small Sweaters, William Jefferson Clinton, Uncle Rico in 1982, Wasting Time, Robots, 75% Potassium Nitrate - 15% Charcoal - 10% Sulfur, Extreme-Verbiage, MEGA-Sexualism, Chet Donnelly, Billy... and other things that I know: shopping, nail polish, your father's BMW, and your poor, rich drunk mother in the Caribbean.

I'd like to meet:

People that point out absurdity. Free-Tibet activists. If you claim to actually *like* the train/bart or bus (yuck!) then you truly are an ass. I recently started taking the train to work - So my new interest is to meet the following: The cool man that yelled at the sick guy who clips his fingernails in public, the people that get really wrapped up in their bicycling lifestyle, the girl that appears to be a student but that never has any books or trapper keepers to prove it (I imagine that she is too smart to need such props), the Sopranos-man, Troll-girl no. 2, the band of rowdy bmx kids, the two guys that seemingly had long underarm hair transplanted onto their scalps and wear beanies to partially cover it up (I didn't personally come up with this discription, but it suits those dudes), the preppy kid that has a young identical intern to carry his notebook and take notes in case he gets a brilliant idea on the way to school and the Google engineers that have shirts that actually say, "Google Engineer." --- Together we can pull off the biggest heist in American history! I am tired of people that can't stop talking about themselves. i.e. I prefer humble people... I know, someone like that might be a little hard to find, living in the SF bay area and all. People that can scoff at or look beyond our existential reality... and people that don’t just sit around all day complaining about it. The intellectually curious. People who know at least two area codes in the bay area other than "415." People that don't simply churp the words of their favorite college professor and pass it off as knowledge... actually, perhaps some people that were never warped by a formal education in the first place. I need some new political friends (my current friends have pretty much censored me, and as you all know, censorship is downright unamerican!!!). Scarlett Johansson. Jami Gertz circa 1987. MechaGodzilla. Catholic girls. Library workers. Kung-fu masters. People that insist on being lazy on Sundays. A girl that won't make me feel like a meal ticket or a leashed companion. Someone who likes cooking (umm, with me that is...). People with cool names like "Jake," "Raquel," and "Billy." Marlon Brando if he were still alive. Outspoken asses. I am sick of those people at clubs who never wash their clothes. Frigid people need not apply. The person that originally asked this brilliant question, "If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?" The anorexic Olson twin... you know, the one that purposely swallowed a tapeworm.

Music:

Ride, Stone Roses, Morrissey, the Smiths, Lush, Ocean Blue, Slowdive, Interpol, Charlatans, Suede, BRMC, MBV, Chameleons, Explosions in the Sky, Beatles, Mogwai, the Postal Service, Film School, Love and Rockets, New Order, the Cure (late 70's), the Wedding Present, Bloc Party, the Raveonettes, Pernice Brothers, OMD, Depeche Mode... and of course the melodic voices in my head.

Movies:

Cable Guy, Office Space, Rainman, Cabin Boy, Road Warrior, Star Wars (ep. 4-5-6), Rushmore, Weird Science (and all of the other "troubled-adolescent," "rich suburbanite vs. working class," "underdog-getting-the-girl-in-the-end," "rebel-wearing-a-trenchcoat," "slurpee-getting-dumped-on-your-head-at-the-mall," "foreign-exchange-student-falling-out-of-a-tree," "hot-short-haired-chick-playing-the-drums," "parents-forgetting-your-birthday," "pre-Home Alone"-John Hughes movies), the Royal Tenenbaums, Lost in Translation, the Professional, Shawshank Redemption, a River Runs Through It, the Shining, JFK, Mikee Darko, a Streetcar Named Desire, Clerks, What's Eating Gilbert Grape?, Animal House, Caddyshack, Good Will Hunting, Requiem for a Dream, Stand By Me, Mommie Dearest, Unforgiven, the Good theBad and the Ugly, pretty much any western (I wish I lived back then... you know, when life was a lot more simple), Not Without My Daughter, Dances With Wolves, Bad Santa, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, Groundhog Day and that's it. I have an appointment to check out this african guy. What african guy? Exactly... what african guy.

Television:

"I was watching Court TV and I found a loophole in your case. I'm gonna talk to the judge about a writ of Habeas Corpus. I'll put the SYSTEM on trial!" I know it would be EXTREMELY profound if I claimed not to own a TV... but I attribute everything I know to the glorious medium: Get a Life, Parker Lewis Can't Lose, Kung Fu, Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Mikee, 24-hour cable news... I like hearing people argue along political party lines. Please, no lame reality shows!!! (This includes bad singing, bad dancing, feats of strength, eating insects etc.) I do like cooking shows though.

Books:

Imperium, Faces of Janus, Hip Hop Destroyed My Culture, Cold War Propaganda, Slaughterhouse Five, One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich, 1984, Post-Modern Whining, Democracy and Distrust, Marx-Engles Reader, Neoconservative Reader, anything by Tobias Wolff, the Ikea Catalog, JA-JZ, and anything else political and controversial, books with big pictures.

Heroes:

Democratic Leadership Council (DLC) and New Democrats. Joe Lieberman, Bill Clinton and Tom Lantos. Move-on needs to move the fuck on!

My Blog

Fuck your yankee blue jeans

To all of those that I love or hate: ...
Posted by Michael on Sun, 23 Jul 2006 04:59:00 PST

Manic Bullshit About Ex's

Like oh my gosh!  I am soooo glad I have myspace blogs to tell the world about how much I hate my ex!!!   That's all I have to say about that.  Sarcasm complete....
Posted by Michael on Wed, 25 Jan 2006 09:23:00 PST

November 11, 2005

November 11th will mark my last workday in that hellhole called Livermore.  People that know me may have noticed my odd behavior as of late - eating dinner at 4pm, going to bed at 9pm, compl...
Posted by Michael on Sun, 23 Oct 2005 02:12:00 PST

Sake

New Rule:  Drinking beer for breakfast is outlandish& but drinking Sake for breakfast is so delectable and sweet in mouth....
Posted by Michael on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

STAR WARS... NOTHING BUT STAR WARS!!!

A Profound Website: The "Chewbacca Ate My Balls! Homepage"...
Posted by Michael on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

WHAT THE F?

Boy 'crushed by giant snowball' A 10-year-old boy died after being crushed by a giant snowball, it was reported today. Police refused to name the youngster or release any further details of the incide...
Posted by Michael on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Bitter

What the hell does "bitter" taste like? I asked a few people and most replied (if they replied at all) with something like, "you know..bitter tastes like, umm, bitter." Is there a specific food that...
Posted by Michael on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

James Coburn's Brother-In-Law

I met an interesting guy at the library today. He claimed to be James Coburns brother-in-law, the heir to the Coburn fortune, and also about to inherit an automobile factory in Britain that is shut ...
Posted by Michael on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

The Women We Love

bimbo n. pl. bimbos 1. a young woman indulged by rich and powerful older men 2. an unknown young woman that wakes your ass up with the lovely sounds of alcohol-induced vomiting in the bathroom...
Posted by Michael on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Contributing To My Delinquency

Got a little out of control again last night folks. No wing-man debauchery this time, but once again I attempted to toss Tony's belongings out of his SUV window at 70mph on the way home. There is ju...
Posted by Michael on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST