HRH Alice, Queen of the Gardens and Hinterlands... profile picture

HRH Alice, Queen of the Gardens and Hinterlands...

I am here for Friends

About Me

Been around forever. Older, Budweiser. Cranky and bitter, yet relishing everything this life has to offer, just to keep pissing God off, I suppose. An ego-ist with no real respect for ego. I love the sound of my own nasal Jew voice, but hate having to listen to myself. I drive myself into the ground, turn over the dirt and replant. I am an equal opportunity hater and find that the majority of the human race desearves my derision, but yet I have chosen a very rewarding career in helping humanity. The elderly and animals make me cry. I am one stupid contridiction, with not much to say but I love playing with words. I can be your best friend or your worst night. I love clothes and shoes (working on my 100th pair), enjoy riding horses, grueling mountain biking, cooking, cleaning my home and working crossword puzzles. Can equally hold my own at Hunt Cup or at a dog fight. Enjoy traveling, staying put at home, reading non-fiction, taking care of my hot as hell Rock Star Boyfriend, killing plants, trying my paw at oil painting w/ my Gran, slinging insults at those that need it and dribbling syrupy, heart felt doting words upon those that I love. I volley about 100 e-mails a day to my best friend, Glenn-Da and love her with a passion. Odd sense of humour, the ability to pick up and drop addictions at my will, a fierce sense of self-satisfaction, and a pride in hard work. I also love lazing in the monetary guilt that my Grandfather left me. And spending the spoils on others. I prescribe to one awful diet, I tan, and have worn pointy shoes to the point of retarding my feet. Hate me, love me...I honestly don't give a fuck. I am. And I proudly live in Armistead Gardens. Well, maybe not so proudly.

My Interests

Forward moving people with a wicked sense of humour! It is my goal to pee in every major body of water. I love to travel so this shouldn't be impossible to achieve. Places I have been outside the US (I tend to go to California a lot) Canada Mexico Dominican Republic England (3 times) Iceland the Netherlands France Germany (2 times) Austria Switzerland Planning: Bermuda! (Cruise is paid for and our cabin is secured...come on MAY!) Scotland, Romania, Czech Republic, Spain, Morocco,Portugal,Scandinavia (esp. Finland). The problem is getting Todd to go. He doesn't travel well. He is soooo Essex. WHEEE! About to put the last grand down on a cruise to Bermuda in May. HRSBF's idea, so this should rock. We sail right outta Dundalk! Bring it ON! *luv you bunny for this idea!*

I'd like to meet:

I met him by chance 13.5 years ago and have never seemed to shake the love of my life. But, aside from Todd... Benevolent benefactors and kindred spirits...And since I live in a fantasy world ruled by Carl McCoy....Carl McCoy. I ABHOR THE AMISH!!! SO STAY AWAY, YA BARN RAISIN' WEIRD BEARDED LOATHSOME FUCKS!

Music:

**My hot rockstar boyfriend's band "The Rock Stars"...I worship you, Todd Stachowski!**OH MY GOD, thank you Scott Huffines for turning me onto satellite radio...I have now purchased 3 of the damn things!!!! My garage band deprivation has been quelled! And never shall I grind my teeth to a Frankel ad again... EVER ! So music,, Here goes...First and last and always, Sisters of Mercy...NoFX, Misfits, Samhain, Stones, Pulp, Siouxsie, old 60s garage, Ramones, Goldfinger, Fields of the Nephilim (Carl McCoy!), Fang, CamperVanBeethoven, Drive By Truckers, Firewater, Catherine Wheel, Echo, the Smiths, Dropkick Murpheys, Slayer, Fishbone, Ween, ,THE WHO, SOM, Hanoi Rocks, Rancid, Stone Roses, the Briefs, the Meatmen,Voivod, RevHo, the Ceasers, Thee Almighty Caesers, Nashville Pussy, Wagner, SCOTS, Yardbirds, Zombies, Abba, Infidel, White Stripes, the Hives, gay bar music....on and on BUT I may add that Billy Joel is the absolute antithesis of everything I love about music. Why won't he die?! That flat assed bukey eyed fuck....lord how I hate him. I have to physically remove myself from an area where his "music" is playing. I HATE YOU BILLY JOEL. I WILL JIG UPON YER EVER LOVIN GRAVE! do you hear me Billy Joel? Keep drinkin; drive that car.....I hope to live to see you DEAD and now that i have calmed...I am into stellastarr*, Kaiser Chiefs, new Vines sounds good, but I was glad to find someone else that hates the B52s and Green Day. Currently listening to Brian Jonestown Massacre, Dandy Wharhols, Oasis!, LCD Sterosystem, Chesterfield Kings, Raconteurs, my biological clock ticking (and ignoring it with a passion)and TWENTY RIPPED ANGEL...those guys just don't fuckin' age. (And yes, I am being sweet.) OOH! Also just got turned on today to a Swedish band Brain Bombs. Me likey!AS i sit home, I am diggin' on BJM...sounds great. The Faith..But more so right now Brian Jonestown. I also hate Elvis Costello. With a passion.

Movies:

This is Spinal Tap, Neighbors and Better Off Dead...in that very order!

Television:

Rock of Love, Ladette to Lady,BBCA, Ab Fab, Da Ali G Show, DeGrassi Jr High (both old and new!), Ed V Spencer, selective Adult Swim, weather channel when I can't sleep, PBS live and don't bathe reality teevee. Teevee honetsly really makes me barf. But I have found new love for Judge Mathis, Flavor of Love and Elimidate, but only when watching with hot rockstar boyfriend. Also digging on Curb your Enthusiasm to nurture our new found Jewish-ness. (Todd and I are Jews). Oh, and of course Atomic TV. PBM + Huff = Entertainment!!!! Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares, and always my beloved LMN. ARGH, and much to my chagrin, "Intervention"...makes me feel soooo NORMAL. I am not the one drinking Scope like it's cheap beer and vomiting it up in front of my kids....partly coz I can afford real booze and mostly coz I hate kids...

Books:

Amusing on-line journals, Nursing texts, Bronte, Plath, Nick Cave, Jim Goad, Hate comics, Jeff Koyen, maps, forensic texts, almanacs, old medical books, British history (Edwardian period esp,), Ayn Rand, Bukowski, Flannery O'conner, the telephone book, old love letters and I hate to say it. Patricia Cornwell's "grocery store" crime novelettes....and when I am feeling very self-loathing...VC Andrews dreck...just so I can throw it's ill-written vomitus across the room in disgust! Ugh theeeeeee worst!!! Currently finished "The Devil's Picnic", which was all about forbidden delicacies around the world...liquor in Denmark, Smoking in LA, Absinth in the Czech rep. and the like, all written in a very informative, well researched yet readable prose. All these people seem to be intrigued with this DaVinci code nonsense but I found more amusement out of the book written by some guy that was dragged through Rennes, in search of the Holy Grail, by an obsessed Rat Scabies...fun book. I would love to have Rat as a nieghbor! Anything written by one Todd Andrew Stachowski. (Undercover genius ).

Heroes:

Clay-er!!! My only love! TODD STACHOWSKI! (Did I ever mention I have a hot rockstar boyfriend?!) And my beautiful partner in all crimes...the stellar Miss Glenn-Da. Illustrious in dust, pretty in the dirty, and the queen of stalk. You are adorable!!!! And always remember, "We are here..." Cryptic and Eldritch! Plus, I totally love myself. So there!

My Blog

2 weeks

Ugh...I don't think I have looked forward to a vacation this much ever. Work is driving me nuts, I have not been feeling well and I need a change of scenery. Never did make it to that gym and have bee...
Posted by HRH Alice, Queen of the Gardens and Hinterlands... on Sat, 26 Apr 2008 10:36:00 PST

Counting days

I am counting days til sexy rock star boyfriend and I get the hell out of Suck City for a few days. My health ain’t great but vacation will be just what we both need. Cruise to Bermuda. Bought w...
Posted by HRH Alice, Queen of the Gardens and Hinterlands... on Sat, 05 Apr 2008 01:16:00 PST

Easter! I finally get it!

" You know what Easter is all about? You boil the eggs. You dye the eggs and you hide the eggs. And you know who is gonna find the eggs? Me! Coz I am the one who hid the eggs!" Lucy VanPelt...
Posted by HRH Alice, Queen of the Gardens and Hinterlands... on Wed, 19 Mar 2008 06:52:00 PST

Very happy

I know it's nothing that anyone wants to know, but I GOT SUMTHIN TO SAY-EEEE.......Love my BF more than anything in this world. What a wonderful, sexy, sensitive, brilliant, funny, creative, one of a ...
Posted by HRH Alice, Queen of the Gardens and Hinterlands... on Wed, 27 Feb 2008 07:26:00 PST

Boredom

MMMM, getting ready for beddie. Lacklustre nite amoungst many. Gearing up for cruise to Bermuda but it seems so far away. How many hundreds of sit-ups til I leave? Want (and shall) look the best I hav...
Posted by HRH Alice, Queen of the Gardens and Hinterlands... on Thu, 21 Feb 2008 07:38:00 PST

mellow sat nite

Tomorrow is BF's birthday (he will be 28) and we are staying in tonite. Fine by me coz I went a bit boozy Essex style last nite with dear male friends. Whoo! Paying the piper today. Soothing my burnin...
Posted by HRH Alice, Queen of the Gardens and Hinterlands... on Sun, 17 Feb 2008 05:39:00 PST

Most best BF

Here I was being my typical cuntish self and thinking that my dear BF would just gloss over the most typical of girly holidays....Valentine's Day has always at formost been my dad's birthday so I neve...
Posted by HRH Alice, Queen of the Gardens and Hinterlands... on Fri, 15 Feb 2008 07:15:00 PST

Healthy

Yuck! I am done with sickness. Get behind me ye veritable cornucopia of germs and convelecence. I am done! It's sad when you can't wait to get back to work coz being cooped up for 4+days in your own h...
Posted by HRH Alice, Queen of the Gardens and Hinterlands... on Thu, 14 Feb 2008 04:33:00 PST

Sickie

 Whoo Nelly, I am in a worrisome state. Co-worker prostate with tummy bug. Other co-worker goes home w/tummy trouble. Sweet peanut boyfriend threw up 20 times today..... This is my worst nightmar...
Posted by HRH Alice, Queen of the Gardens and Hinterlands... on Thu, 07 Feb 2008 04:10:00 PST

Bermuda

 Very happy now that I have something to look forward to....cruise to Bermuda in May with my wonderful boyfriend.
Posted by HRH Alice, Queen of the Gardens and Hinterlands... on Fri, 25 Jan 2008 12:56:00 PST