Tony's Nightmare
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Hi. I’m Tony. I live in a city full of hills with a river running through it. There’s a beautiful bridge and parks and old buildings and music and clubs and drugs and black people and white people and sex and violence and death and life. And shoe shops, for some reason. Loads of them.
I’m 16th, going on 17th, century. My favourite philosopher is David Hume. My favourite medieval king is Charlemagne. My favourite Primal Scream album is Vanishing Point. I hate smoothie companies that try to be my friend. I’ll make my own, thank you very much. Last night my friend Chris told me he loved me…but he was on pills…so I didn’t take it seriously. The other day I got my friend Sid to drink some bong water. I said that if he did it first then I would too. I didn’t.
My favourite food is potatoes. Boil them, slice them, grill them with chilli and garlic. Heaven, man, heaven. I do a mean home made muesli that provides me with more than my daily allowance of vitamins in one extreme shot of grains, pulses and seeds. It gives me a rush, I swear it does. Breakfast is my heroin.
My girlfriend is the sexiest person I know (with one exception). The coolest thing I’ve ever done? Naked sledging is something everyone can, and should, enjoy. Life is for doing whatever I want and getting away with it. Say no more.
