Unseen Skins: Chris
..
I'm Chris.
I'm 18.
I go to college.
I hold the world record for the number of apples under 4-inches circumference you can eat. This is part of the unofficial world records - ones Guinness won't allow you to know about because they are too pussy - because they don't like records which can damage you for life, you know, make you ill and that. Anyway, I ate 268 apples in one sitting in order to hold the record.
I shat stones for a week. Or that's how I remember it. But that was better than Mr Nyama who got really ill and started vomiting blood.
The thing about fish only having a four-second memory is a lie. My fish still remember me doing the world record - I know this because every time they see an apple they turn in the opposite direction. Even fish that weren't alive when I did the world record know to turn away.
If I could be anyone I'd either be me, or Mr Nyama. You should meet him, he's wicked. He's got the 5 inch record. But he won't tell me his first name.
I believe in love. But I really like how my love is not like your love.
