shane ian gilmore profile picture

shane ian gilmore

If the ocean was whiskey and i was a duck, i'd dive to the bottom and drink my way up.

About Me

I think secretly, I want to be a county music singer song writer who is thought of as having high artistic merit.
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My Interests

Scrutinizing my own reflection, four part conversations involving only me (usually about me), and trying to squeeze every last bit of icing out of those little packets that come with Pilsbury Toaster Strudel.

I'd like to meet:

What's the correct answer here? Is this like a dating question? In which case do I say something ambiguously cheezy-cute like, "someone who knows how to love me like I will them just as we both deserve"? Or do I go for broke and say I'd like to meet me with tits and a vagina?

Music:

"Take On Me" by A-ha... what else does one need?

Movies:

I'll only watch my own shit. It's some sort of intellectual masturbation, and like actual masturbation, it usually involves crying.

Television:

Football on Sunday, COUPLING, Rome, Entourage, The Office (both British and American), THE SHEILD, Dawson's Creek (especially season 3), He-Man, old school Crocodile Hunter, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Peep Show (below).

Books:

If it's written by Charles Bukowski I'll read it.

Heroes:

Han Solo, Charles Bukowski! and NyQuil.

My Blog

I'm fucked!!

The Fatal Consequences of ... Well boys, we're all screwed!...
Posted by shane ian gilmore on Tue, 21 Feb 2006 10:23:00 PST

Buchtsechs

Buttsecks That stuff always sneaks up on me.  ~Oscar Wilde on Buttsecks Buttsecks (sometimes known as buchtsechs) describes the action of one person inserting his/her/its butt inside another's...
Posted by shane ian gilmore on Sun, 22 Jan 2006 03:34:00 PST

Lions vs Midgets

Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight An African Lion much like this is responsible for the death of 28 Cambodian MidgetsSpectators cheered as entire Cambodian Midget Fighting...
Posted by shane ian gilmore on Wed, 18 Jan 2006 11:47:00 PST

The airline industry is funny.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.    The mechanics correct the problems; document their ...
Posted by shane ian gilmore on Mon, 17 Oct 2005 09:20:00 PST

Hoorray Cars!!

While riding my bike to school today I was struck by an automobile. Ipso facto, I have a seperated shoulder. Horray cars!! The real motherfucker of all this is that the person who stuck there head out...
Posted by shane ian gilmore on Fri, 07 Oct 2005 02:22:00 PST

HBO is great

Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more. There's no more money to spend--you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the re...
Posted by shane ian gilmore on Mon, 03 Oct 2005 12:19:00 PST

Gandolf the cocaine...

an obscure F. R. I. E. N. D. S reference written circa '4. Alcohol and cocaine are friends and I'm sure comparable to some of yours. Alcohol, Al, is there for me at the alpha and omega. Now sur...
Posted by shane ian gilmore on Mon, 15 Aug 2005 04:55:00 PST