Sex on the Beach, Blowjobs, and of course Flaming Orgasms! I'm all in the mix.
My long lost sister, Everclear. Please help me in my attempt to get her back into the country! Legalize her! I'm sick of having to go down to Tijuana just to spend the weekend.
I'd also like to meet TV and Movie producers. Most people don't know that I'm actually the highest paid Rum actor. My biggest role was in a little movie called "Pirates of the Caribbean" with my homeboy Jack Sparrow. We're boys in real life too. In fact in our first movie, I got burned by that bitch Elizabeth... and Jack was all like "But Why's the Rum Gone!?!" (see "Movie" section to left)
I'm also a writer. Some of my more notable quotes were from that "Sam Jackson Beer" skit on the Dave Chapelle Show (see "Television" section to left):
- It'll get ya drunk!
- You'll be fucking fat girls in no time!
- Haven't you seen my movies? "Deep Blue Sea" They ate me! A motherfucking shark ate me! Drink up, bitch!
- How's it taste, motherfucker?
- (and my personal fav) Mmmm-mmm, bitch!
My acting debut...
Some of my writing...