Slip Slim and The Sliders
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OK mainly I am interested the most in football.
I go out with mum sometimes but only sometimes to see bands I like I only like ROCKABILLY I met Paul Ansells he has loads of HATS! Our picture was in a magazine it is called 'Now Dig This' it is about rock and roll and old people. Plus I go every year to The Rockabilly Rave it is mental I go mad.
I like Monster Munch pickled onion flavour bamboo shoots from the Chinese takeaway and cornflakes. On Saturday mornings I watch Saturday Kitchen with mum and Match of the Day with mum on Saturday nights when she is not at the Brighton Rumble and stuff like X-Factor with nanny when I stay there and play Connect Four and I am allowed to stay at Auntie Bo's and have my own DINOSAUR toothbrush at her house how cool is that? When I am with Auntie Bo nothing bad can happen she looks after me and I sleep cuddled up with her and her hair smells nice like flowers.
I am not scared of anything except massive spiders, so is my Uncle Bonabon he kills them with BOOKS! I just run away I also hate fish of all kinds on my plate but I like them swimming at the Sealife Centre in Brighton where I go to look at them and I hate baked beans and eggs especially strangled eggs that is just mess on a plate all yellow and wet. Bleuch! Mum makes me eat fruit and I like BROCERLI but not the stalks and I hate cabbage and I like spaghetti hoops but mum doesn't buy them she says they are crap but I can have them at nanny's. I sleep A LOT I forgot to mention that. And I like jigsaw puzzles but I never finish them I can't be bothered!
I'd like to meet:
Mum only lets me be friends with people she knows not STRANGERS so message me first and say 'I know your mum!' or she will make me press 'deny' because it is the internet and sometimes it is evil for kids.
I just met Peter Sandbergs from the Go-Getters I have always wanted to meet him he is WAY cool and he likes mum he gives her t-shirts and she gives him t-shirts and I went on stage by his drum kit to watch him play he is so excellent and a good mate as well you can ask him if you don't believe me I dare you!
Dita Von Teese, she is well fit! And she is getting divorced from that weirdo so I have a CHANCE now. Maybe a nice Chinese girl who I can send letters to and they can take them to my mum and dad. Here they are having a snack it is snowing!
I saw them on the telly they are in a special place where they eat bamboo and are in CAPTIVITY (not the Chinese girls, my mum and dad!) but it is not cruel it is coooool! They are helping to make more panda babies because there aren't many left and once my nanny and grandad went to China to VISIT and grandad brought back a letter for me from MY REAL DAD! It was so cool plus he sent me a calendar with animals on and a purse with a panda on for my mum to keep my pocket money in. I spend it mainly on Chomp bars or Fudge bars or Freddo's I LOVE chocolate it's so nice and makes my tummy happy.
I like that Kelly Brooks she would be a really good date I think.
I want to meet footballers mainly so John Terrys and Frank Lampards and Aaron Lennons mostly and Jermain Defoes I am about the same height as him also Michael Dawsons he plays for Spurs as well he is really brilliant and Dimitar Berbatov he has UNTOLD skill
I would really hate to go on a date with Paris Hiltons, she is stupid and her hair is made of old horses tails plus her skin is ORANGE and she is too expensive to take out I want a girlfriend who likes milkshakes and onion rings and fries!
Music:
The go getters
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You won't believe this but I have been on STAGE with Slim Slip & The Sliders Uncle Darren put me in his shirt and played a whole song on bass with me jumping about on his chest and THEN the Go-Getters came on and Peter said, 'OK this one goes out to Pantouf,' and he sang 'No Heart To Spare' and he changed a bit at the end to 'No Heart To Bear' and it was so funny and it was a DEDICATION for me I can't believe it still I am so amazed!
Also I like all what mum likes and Uncle Phil likes he is a DJ called Lucky Phil he is cool and he is married to Cherry he is SNEAKY he got there first! That is why he is called Lucky Phil. At home with mum I listen to Gene Vincents and Eddie Cochrans and Johnny Cash I like his songs from the prison the best and we listen as well to Shakin' Stevens and The Go-Getters and Elvis and Charlie Feathers he is THE DON and The Cordwood Draggers and Paul Ansells the most and we are friends with real pop stars like Cash O'Rileys and Arsen Roulettes and Darrel Highams and Paul Ansells and Slim Slip and The Sliders and The Cordwood Draggers one of them has been here he wears a BIG HAT and we also know the Sugar Creek Trios especially Darren on guitar he is SO FAST! Like Cliff Gallups of the olden days and we have been to see their gigs and even seen Little Richards and that was rubbish! Oh and one of Slim Slip & The Sliders has stayed here we went out for breakfast I didn't eat my eggs I hate eggs oh and also I am IN LOVE WITH RUBY ANN I cuddled her she is from Portugal she sings so pretty I LOVE her and she has two cats! Here she is in her Red Hot Ruby top!
Guess what my grandad has got Gene Vincents autograph because he met him for two days it was the 1960s! My grandad was in the ARMY. He sneaked out to see Eddie Cochrans and Gene Vincents he climbed over a big wall and ran for his life it was so important!
Movies:
I like Free Willy it makes me cry and of course I really love Pirates of the Caribbean because it's mental and I play Jack Sparrow and Daniel plays the other one and we have sword fights and yell stuff like 'Ahoy there!' and 'Abandon ship!' and stuff. Oh yeah plus Jaws it is so frightening it really is!
And I like Ice Age and Ice Age 2 and Garfield The Movie and Shark Tale best of all I have got them on DVD. Also I go to the cinema with mum and have my own popcorn and my own seat but she doesn't pay she sneaks me in I just stay quiet!
Television:
I am allowed to watch '24' and Top Gear with mum it is THE BEST and also the football on Saturday nights and Ready Steady Cook if mum stops working to have a cup of tea and Daniel writes the recipes down he is my brother.
Plus I like watching nature programmes to look for my family if it is about pandas. Plus The Simpsons I am allowed to watch that every single day if I have been good.
Books:
Yeah I tried to read that Da Vinci's Code but I got bored. No not really ha ha. My mum is so clever she wrote a book it is called 'The Spotters Guide To The Male Species' and it is about men and stuff and it is so funny that it is in the bookshops but she is not rich like that woman who wrote Harry Potters. I think Harry Potters is an idiot to be honest.
I did read The Hobbit though and a book about SAS Survival there were useful things in there about tying knots and drinking rain off leaves and stuff.
Heroes:
Jack Bauers out of '24' it is the best thing ever he is so COOL it hurts my head then Jack Sparrows, I'm going to ask him for work experience aboard The Black Pearl when I'm old enough, I will be TRAINED to be a PIRATE!
My real mum and my dad, here is dad clapping along to Gene Vincents, he is listening to 'Blue Jean Bop'! And my new dad because he plays GUITAR with his HANDS and he cooks nice dinners I like BEEF he makes pictures for me and takes me to buy fancy cakes when it is our last morning in FRANCE where he lives but not for long he is going to do something called make an honest WOMAN out of mum I heard someone say that it is a WELL-KNOWN PHRASE I can't wait!
DJ Lucky Phil and DJ Dave Mumbles here they are at the best club in the world it is called The Brighton Rumble Rockabilly Club and it is utterly wicked but it's on really late so I can only go on my birthday or as a treat!
My grandad he teaches me about old footballers like Jimmy Greaves and he gives me some of his roast dinner and he lets me help him in the garden when I stay in the summer and we find WORMS!
Plus yeah my mum for not making me ever go to school she teaches me at home I learned all about spelling and football and cooking and science and vitamins and stuff about animals like did you know sharks DIE if they go to sleep they have to drink Red Bull it makes them stay awake! And pandas do handstands that is true I saw mum and dad do it all the time!
And Uncle Darren out of Slim Slips because he is the BEST bass player EVER and Uncle Mick from The Cordwood Draggers because he works on a RUNWAY at an AIRPORT that is well cool!
