Clemmie Fancy Dancer - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm a true Reno original with a full dance card and a G.E.D. that proves I'm not stupid. I consider myself a warrior goddess in the tradition of Brigitte Neilson and Xena. Anyone who's been arrested by me would agree, and believe me, there's dozens. I'm an open-minded person who passes no judgement on people, even if you're the kind of person who crashes on my couch for a week, sneaks into my stash, looks me in the eye and lies about it, then takes off with my ATM card and the underage slut who lives next door. (And Steed, if youâ€š're reading this, this has nothing to do with you because I'm over you and I don't think about you any more, you prick!) I was raised to be a Christmas and Easter Baptist, and now I integrate that faith with my Wiccan studies. I only practice white witchcraft, and only money and beauty spells. My passions are fantasy fiction, self-photography, self-sculpting, blending essential oils for maximum sensuality, cocktails, stretching, weekends in Bullhead City, late night cable, any Steely Dan related activities, and posing for my friend Leon the airbrush artist. He calls me the Cindy Crawford of van conversions cuz he's painted me on the sides of so many vans! Anyway, I love to live and love to love...GILF: Every Boy's Crazy About a Sharp Dressed GILF!
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Add to My Profile | More VideosMore Videos GILF: Being a GILF is a Full Time Job!
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Add to My Profile | More VideosGILF: Pillow Talk!
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Add to My Profile | GILF: Injectibles, Delectables, and Funny Hats!
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Add to My Profile | More Videos .. ..

My Interests

mythology, horoscopes, baths, seeing how many times I can get whistled at in a day, personal grooming, psychic phenomena, dream journaling, Chicano studies

I'd like to meet:

Steely Dan, Stevie Nicks, David Lee Roth, my real father, guys with boats, guys who can treat a lady like a lady and then get out so I can get some sleep

Music:

Steely Dan (for living), Fleetwood Mac (for smoking), Van Halen (for driving), Hall and Oates (for lovemaking), Thin Lizzy (for karaoke), the Bee Gees (for miscellaneous), Spyro Gyra (for stretching and meditiation), Heart (for kicking ass)

Movies:

Airplane, anything from National Lampoon, The Blue Lagoon, Disorderlies, Pass the Ammo, Big Bad Momma, Showgirls, and anything with Angie Dickenson or Joey Heatherton.Airplane, anything from National Lampoon, The Blue Lagoon, Disorderlies, Pass the Ammo, Big Bad Momma, Showgirls, and anything with Angie Dickenson or Joey Heatherton.

Television:

Facts of Life re-runs, Cosby Show re-runs, Full House re-runs (John Stamos? Meow!!!!!), Roseanne re-runs, T.J. Hooker re-runs, World's Funniest Animals

Books:

The Joy of Sex, Dream Interpretation for Dummies, Chicken Soup for the Curvy Blonde Soul, Aromatherapy for Dummies, the Wind in the Willows

Heroes:

Anyone who can say, Hey, I have herpes, but I'm not gonna let it ruin my life. That takes real guts. Also the men and women of the Reno Sheriff's department.

My Blog

I ABLE TO LOG IN AGAIN!!!!!!!

Kids, How I've missed you all. I haven't been able to log into this page for over a week because of technical difficulties, but here I am again. Such anxiety! Anyway, the 4th and final episode of GILF...
Posted by Clemmie Fancy Dancer on Mon, 11 Feb 2008 03:09:00 PST

I’M ABLE TO LOG IN AGAIN!!!!!!!

TODAY’S THE DAY!

Here's the link to GILF. Watch it, love it, pass it on: http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&am p;videoid=26206249...
Posted by Clemmie Fancy Dancer on Wed, 16 Jan 2008 11:13:00 PST

Have a CLEMTASTIC NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

Hello lovers (past, present, and future)! I hope the new year has inspired you to wipe the slate clean on your bad habits and start anew. I personally have one goal, and one goal only: to love myself ...
Posted by Clemmie Fancy Dancer on Mon, 14 Jan 2008 10:54:00 PST

It’s On!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clarmy, As some of you may have heard, SEASON 5 of Reno 911! will start airing on January 16th! Thank you for all your hard work, dedication, and unidentifiable musky aromas. Kisses, &n...
Posted by Clemmie Fancy Dancer on Sat, 08 Dec 2007 11:28:00 PST

Take it to the top, never gonna stop!

Devotees of the Clemmie Army, which we will refer to as the "CLARMY" from here on out: I can't say too much, but I WILL say that I think our scheme is working. And if you're too hungover to remem...
Posted by Clemmie Fancy Dancer on Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:08:00 PST

Possums and TV scheduling

It's no secret that I have a possum problem in my yard, primarily because the "trailer court" on the other side of my fence won't cut their trees, and one of them hangs onto my patio. So the other day...
Posted by Clemmie Fancy Dancer on Mon, 22 Oct 2007 12:30:00 PST

Dolls and stuff

So I was in Target the other day buying bras (I wear them out so fast!) and hairspray, when I noticed these freaky little dolls that look like the trannie hookers who wo...
Posted by Clemmie Fancy Dancer on Fri, 10 Aug 2007 02:45:00 PST

BIG NEWS - YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!!!!!

Normally I write these blogs in Clemmie's voice, but not today, because this is REAL NEWS: The indie film I did with CEDRIC YARBROUGH (Dep. Jones) called CLOSING ESCROW (you can see a c...
Posted by Clemmie Fancy Dancer on Mon, 02 Jul 2007 03:41:00 PST

Skits 'n' Sh*t

Check out the skit I did with the yummy boys over at ARTA FILMS! Come on...you know you wanna. Everybody's doing it. Go to this link and click on "ARTA 911." ..> ..> http://www.myspace.c...
Posted by Clemmie Fancy Dancer on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 09:30:00 PST