Steve profile picture

Steve

You think you have health care problems?

About Me

As a former Astronaut with a lot of experience within both the intelligence and health care communities, I'm considering becoming more active in politics. Having decades of first hand knowledge I think it's safe for me to say our country is headed in the wrong direction. Finding nuclear power sources for small portable high output electronic motors is also a cause which is very near and dear to my heart.

I'm not sure if there's a party I'd want to belong to. See the thing is about astronauts, we're not very interesting people. They pre-screen us for that. That was the deal with Armstrong. Can you imagine if the guy had come back and started getting all biblical? Seriously... picture it... The cameras are pointing at the sky... the space capsule and its three parachutes appear. Splashdown! The helicopters retrieve it from the ocean, and fly the Apollo crew to the deck of a waiting air craft carrier. Then on the landing deck, instead of politely filing towards the debriefing area and just waving at the news cameras as he goes, what if Armstrong had walked right up to the press, grabbed a mic, looked straight into the cameras and declared: "People of the earth I've been to the heavens... and I've spoken to God Almighty!!! I have returned to the earth to lead you all!!! Cast off your bonds!!! Forget your national leaders and Follow me!!!"

See, to be certain of avoiding situations like that, they go out of their way at NASA to make sure they wind up with guys like me. They give us lots of psych tests to be sure that if they tell us to put a square peg in a round hole we'll just say "how high SIR!". It's not such a bad thing because... really, you know when you are hurtling through space in a tin foil nozzle at 2,000 mph in the middle of a void, they don't really want you having too much of an imagination.

That's what got me through my own accident. My lack of imagination. People tell me to do things and I go do em. I get em done. But now that I've been out of the game a while I feel like maybe I should have done some things differently?

I don't know. See the thing is I don't really know how to think for myself.

Wish I did.

My Interests

I'm very efficient. For example I have seven exact duplicate red jump suits. Also a couple of tweed smoking jackets with brown felt elbow patches. I love those things! That's a look that will be comming back into style. In fact that's another reason I think of getting into politics, to bring back those jackets. I wear them with turtle neck shirts. Other interests include ironing, and keeping my runninig shoes neatly laid out in my closet with a tape measure. I like to keep things neat and orderly. ... I don't have a lot of imagination.

I'd like to meet:

I have no trouble meeting ladies. I seem to meet a new one each week and have a really crazy romance. Then I never hear from them again. I'd feel bad about it except, each week, there's a new woman to get it on with in my cool red jumper. So it's ok. I guess I'd like to meet other people too. Not sure. Don't have a lot of time, what with all the ladies and the one week romances.

Music:

It's nice to have this on when I'm driving. I also like the talking channels.

Movies:

John Wayne. Elvis.

Television:

Leave it to Beaver. Perry Como. I like the Dean Martin Roasts.

Books:

Popular mechanics guide to space craft and supersonic jets. I like books about planes. Books about the space program. I liked "The Right Stuff". Also books about health care. How to pick a good doctor. Books about hospital convalesence.

Heroes:

Oliver North. John Glen. The Planters Peanunt guy. The Monopoly guy with the Monacle. Steve Wynn. George W. Bush. People who do what they're told, but look good doing it.

My Blog

Worst Date EVAR!!!

My miserable depressing old man life has reached an all time low. Funny thing is things were looking up there for a while. Last week I was talking to my pal at the nursing home I visit to have somethi...
Posted by Steve on Mon, 04 Jun 2007 06:53:00 PST

The Bionic Woman

This is so depressing. I just found out that NBC is putting out a new TV series... "The Bionic Woman". Don't believe me? Check this out. Its the teaser for the new show: http://www.youtube.com/watch?...
Posted by Steve on Tue, 15 May 2007 08:00:00 PST

Crazy NASA Lovin'

As a former astronaut you can understand that when I picked up the newspaper a couple of days ago and read about Lisa Nowak it made a much different impression on me than it would your average civilli...
Posted by Steve on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 07:56:00 PST

I spy with my little eye

Man... being a retired astronaut sure can be depressing. Yesterday I left my tiny two room furnished appartment to get some milk and ring dings so I could have something to drown my sorrows in while I...
Posted by Steve on Mon, 29 Jan 2007 09:00:00 PST

The problem w. being a good samaratin.

So I was down at the mall trying to get a few things... (Ok... I needed to get some Depends Undergarments) and when I got finished I ran to catch a bus... by which I mean I went at like, normal person...
Posted by Steve on Tue, 16 Jan 2007 12:01:00 PST

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

I wasn't kidding on my home page when I said I'm considering entering politics. The plight of the elderly in this country is a disgrace. I'm sure you've seen the public service spots with stories abou...
Posted by Steve on Tue, 19 Dec 2006 08:17:00 PST