{the alphajerk!} profile picture

{the alphajerk!}

I am here for Dating, Friends and Networking

About Me

70%
well, seemings as i'm doing this for the second time nobody will read it and i can say whatever i like... i am a third generation maize raiser from the depths of the mississippi delta.. i was raised by astronaughts on a placenta harvesting ,conspiracy covering army base in guatamala... before they taght me how to raise maize they also taught me how to effectively sling fecies at anyone undesireable enough to deserve it, they also taught me the fine art of basket weavery and croche nitting. but alas, it was the time between that and mauze farmery that saw my true love for the sloth to come to full fruition, i co-ran a travelling sloth racing carnivale with my now deceased buddy-pal guy shnederry finkletonville esquire the 3rd.. who was killed by the almighty sight that is a rampaging herd of wild sloths, thats right, he was trapmled to death by the mighty and uncaring hoof of the tyrannical sloths during a stampede... i'm just so sad now i don't think i can continue...


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My Interests

guitar, music, beer, poker... people, sloths.knitting, darning socks, collecting stool samples, writing short and handy reminders on those post it guys and sticking them around the house, watching people bake things, making bread sculptures, cheese, breakfast meats, faberge eggs, swell sweaters, flamingo lawn ornaments, people that go "hhhrrrgm" in thier sleep, leather codpieces... all the usual stuff people like me like

I'd like to meet:

anyone who has "happy pants"..

Music:

anything john garcia touches. alice in chains. jimi hendrix. down. the atomic bitchwax. tool. hermano. the sword. truckfighters. brothers grim. rodrigo y gabriella. wolfmother. sasquatch. a perfect cicle. isis. los natas. kyuss. opeth. porcupine tree. black label society. unida. dozer. the sword. black sabbath. mad season. jerry cantrell. life of agony. prong. soundgarden. clutch. slo burn. opeth. the screaming trees. weezer. mastodon. nirvana. coc. cockfight shootout. fort. smashing pumpkins. the legs. the mexicans. nitroseed. monster magnet. orange goblin. the tea party. jeff martin. niel young. mountain. mudhoney. subaudible hum. helmet. death from above 1979. the datsuns. guns n roses. alabama thunderpussy. the black keys. my left boot. brant bjork. black mountain. c.w stoneking. the dirty three. the doors. led zeppelin. eric clapton. cream. mc5. robert johnson. epicure. harry manx. the gadflys. brendon benson. tom waits. kieran murphy. geoff achison. leadbelly. the travelling wilburys. the allman brothers. supergrass. paul kelly. dios malos. bob dylan. james mercer. stevie ray vaughan..... if you actually read this far and still care you can ask and i'll tell you more...

Heroes:

this guy

My Blog

whorecraft.

exactly what comes to mind when the words "world of warcraft" enter your head to loll around bobbing and grinding on your brain? as i see it, it could only be one of three things:- "oh yeah! i love Wo...
Posted by {the alphajerk!} on Thu, 29 May 2008 06:39:00 PST

evolution penis.

this shit makes me more than slightly irritated.. and i'm going to attempt via this stinky medium to explain why, it's not so much a personal attack on anybody.. more of a grievance about current popu...
Posted by {the alphajerk!} on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 04:13:00 PST

welcome to hell... a guided tour

i thought i’d show you some of the cool ass shit i’ve been ogling ..i have no idea where this came from or who is responsible because i found it on a link site with no info so if you do re...
Posted by {the alphajerk!} on Mon, 07 Apr 2008 02:57:00 PST

why i hate you..

first.. lets not make this personal ok? despite the title just let me waffle and you’ll realize i’m not talking about you specifically ... (unless i am). i have no idea where i’m goi...
Posted by {the alphajerk!} on Sun, 16 Mar 2008 05:34:00 PST

generation shame

welcome to this weeks popular culture seminar, be seated, enjoy the view and don't forget, if you tape your wiener to the side of your leg before hand you can avoid the awkward "folder in front of eng...
Posted by {the alphajerk!} on Tue, 19 Feb 2008 06:08:00 PST

spiderman draft

yeah, i fucked around a little bit to see if i could operate this comic book shit... seemings as a few of you encouraged me and all.it's only a rough on the spot draft but i wanted to see if this woul...
Posted by {the alphajerk!} on Thu, 07 Feb 2008 07:00:00 PST

"hero worship"

yep, it's been a fucking long time and i'm pretty rusty.. Gerard "Arhur" Way...i would like to start this with a small quote from the man himself (when asked what inspired him to become a singer):"it ...
Posted by {the alphajerk!} on Wed, 23 Jan 2008 04:31:00 PST

Tina.

some of you may have heard/seen this in the news but thats not what i'm here to talk about, because here it is irrelevant.this is more about Tina as a person, she truly was an amazing person and how s...
Posted by {the alphajerk!} on Thu, 10 Jan 2008 09:35:00 PST

The hypothetical: what would you do here?

i thought it would make it a little more interesting to put this link before you read anything elsea related article: vagina dentataTime to be a little creative, or at least poke around in my skull ...
Posted by {the alphajerk!} on Sun, 16 Dec 2007 05:18:00 PST

more kids art redone!..

do you remember a few blogs ago (this is just fucking cool) i showed you some kids drawings that were done again by artists? that was as the title suggests, just fucking cool..... well i stumbled acro...
Posted by {the alphajerk!} on Wed, 12 Dec 2007 03:11:00 PST