12.02.07
i love rutherford at night. i love anything at night. day time is nice. i enjoy it. but there's something about the night that makes me feel alive.
those of you who know me, i like color. and i love art. i love it. so much i have to say it twice. and when i forget, i remember so vividly. seriously, there's a rainbow inside of me.
i get into different things.
i've been more real with myself lately. this is going to sound ridiculous, but my god, if the truth isn't hard, i don't know what is. and when you face your truth, your actual truth, what a scary doorway that is. and what an even scarier doorway to walk though and say yeah, i'm here, now what?
and then suddenly your on this different path, slowly and wisely chosen OR briefly leapt upon i-have-no-idea-what's-around-the-corner-but-i'm-about-to-fin d-out-path. or maybe a combo of both... and you are like looking at everyone around you bumping around like a 1970's vw bus on the same wheels it came with in 2007, saying, okay, i get it, it's a ride, so when does this thing stop and are we turning left or right next and how much longer is the heat going to be on this high?
"telling the truth that day was hard," i just said to myself. i do wonder sometimes why our SERIOUS truths are the hardest things to cross our lips. what's so terrible about saying something true? what's the worst that can happen? i guess death... but EGO death ooooohhhhhh myyyyy goooodddd not the death of the EGO... noo!! please!!! pleaseplease!!! not that...
fall
fal
fa
f
fallllllllllllllll
**^
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0---O
here lies ego.
so and so days
so and so hours
so and so minutes old.
funny how the ego will rise from the dead. you think it's gone?? POOF. you think you know how to handle it... and when i say YOU i mean all.
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i like html.
and i like designing and helping people if it's equal. there's a mutual respect going on. we understand each other.
love my feline lovers - bastian y grai'zelle
i respect them. they respect me. it's an awesome relationship.
i like when people are real. it's also a really huge plus if they can get out of their own bullshit to admit their wrongs... instead of pointing the finger at everyone else.
that's also a hard thing to admit. your wrongs.
it's a noble, noble thing to admit your wrongs, in a way you let i have it's time, and then admit to the person you did wrong that you were sorry. i kill for that every time. because it's a hard thing to do, and if you know where and when to do it.... i don't have to continue.